is it true? | jjk

일곱

i remember when i almost died.

i was on the way to the doctor's office for a routine checkup, when another car swerved into me and crashed into my car.

the impact was intense. i felt my soul leave my body for a second and my world was literally turned upside down. the last thing i felt was my head slamming into the side window, and the air bags knocking the wind out of my lungs.

then it all went black.

was it all over for me?

i never would've thought that someone would be kind enough to call the ambulance for me.

next thing i knew, i was staring at a white ceiling, with an iv in my arm, a couple broke ribs, a broken arm, some stitches on random parts of my body, and a concussion.

they told me to stay in the hospital for the next month to keep their eyes on my vitals. 

they told me that the person who saved my life was sitting in the waiting room.

i would be lying if i said that i didn't hope it was you.

maybe by some chance of fate, you had been there at the scene, and saved my life.

but when a little old lady hobbled in with a cane in her wrinkled hand, and a small bouquet of flowers in the other, my hopes deflated.

she was a cute old lady though. she was a kind soul, and she was obviously very worried about my condition by the way she asked me all these questions. but i reassured her that i was strong, and that i would be fine in no time. i didn't want to worry her.

i gave the old lady-- her name was mrs. min-- a one armed hug before she left the room, saying that her grandson was waiting for her outside. i thanked her a countless amount of times before she left. she's the reason i'm still alive.

but then i remember my idiot of a best friend running through the doors the next second, her arms full of chocolates and chips and strawberry milk, and her cheeks stained with tears.

but where were you?

i was waiting for you to come visit.

hell, you probably have no idea what happened. you might not even be living in the same city anymore.

you'd think that after all these years, i'd stop thinking about you, but it seems like there's a connection with you and everything i do.

i remember wondering what your reaction would've been if you found out what happened to me. would you cry like my best friend? would you bring me flowers like mrs. min? would you hug me and tell me everything was going to get better?

would you promise me that you'd stay with me every step of the way until i recovered?

if so, then don't visit me.

i don't want to be disappointed by you even more than i already have.