Broken

| 16 | I Failed You

I walk back into school and I feel like the weight is even heavier on my shoulders. I shouldn't have said anything last night. I shouldn't have even gone to that dance at all. I should've just stayed home. I wouldn't feel like this right now if I did.

I make my way to class and take a seat at my desk. Noah and Quinn approach me with smug looks on their faces. Great, another day, more torture.

"So, Grace, we heard your little confession to Tyler last night. I must say, it was pretty hysterical how you started crying like a little wuss." says Quinn as she sits in the desk next to me. Noah does the same.

Great. If they heard about it last night, then the whole school must have too. What in the hell have I done? Not only did I screw up everything with Tyler, I messed it all up for myself by not knowing how to shut up. If all people at this school are making fun of me today, then I only have my stupid self to blame.

"What a loser. He never cared about you, and yet you act like he did. Get over yourself. You're shit compared to Tyler Smith." says Quinn. Noah hardly says anything anymore. He just enjoys watching his bitch from hell humiliate me.

"Obviously, I see you haven't listened to my suggestion. Just remember, you're nothing. No one wants you hear. Do the world a favor and just die already, jeez."

"What the hell did you just say to her?" says a voice that makes me jump. It definitely didn't come from either of them. I watch as their faces go pale when they see Tyler standing at the door of the classroom. His shoulders brought back, eyes threatening, nostrils flared, jaw tight. I've never seen him like that. So demanding, scary even. This is the Tyler people are afraid of. The one that looks like this and all he had to do was say one thing and everyone is waiting for the blow.

He walks all the way up to me and grabs my arm and yanks me up. My body feels weightless under his touch. He pushes me behind him as he steps closer to Noah and Quinn.

"I'll deal with you two later. But know one thing, you should be scared to death after what I just heard come out of your mouth." he says through gritted teeth. I look up at him in shock. I've never seen him so angry, yet hear he is. He grabs a hold of my arm and leads me out of the classroom, the whole time I look up at him but he won't look back. It looks like he's too focused on calming himself down.

I don't say a word. I know I should at least say something, anything, but I can't. I'm too busy looking at Tyler as he drags me away to the back hallways with no one there. Just me and him.

He finally stops and turns around to face me. His eyes are pouring into mine and it feels like it's too much to handle at once. He hasn't touched me, he hasn't spoken to me, and now all of a sudden. Everything is happening so fast.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me that they were bullying you again?" he asks still fuming. I feel my whole chest ache at his words. Why? How could he even ask that without knowing the answer?

"You wouldn't look at me." I say and my voice cracks. The lump in my throat is back and tears threaten to fall at the lids of my eyes, but I blink them away feeling my nose become stuffy as I do. I'm trying to not cry as much.

He doesn't waste time pulling me in for a hug. It feels like I'm coming up for air after being underwater for so long just because I can feel his embrace.

"I'm so sorry. I am so freaking sorry, Grace. I was an ass. I can't believe I pushed you away. You of all people." he says and he pulls away and places both of his hands on my cheeks. We lock eyes and for a moment I stop breathing. I've wanted him for so long. So long I've wanted to tell him that I love him, but I can't. I can't right now. The words threaten to fall out of my mouth, but they physically won't come out. I feel like that's where I've been at for months now.

He slowly leans forward, and I continue to hold my breath as he does. He finally plants his lips right on my forehead with his hands still tightly holding my cheeks.

"No one is ever going to hurt you for as long as I'm with you." he says and holds me in his arms again.
"Nobody."

There's silence for a long while, and he pulls away and looks me in the eyes very carefully. Sadness fills his features as he places a hand on my cheek and tilts his head just a bit. You can almost see his heart breaking.

"You started cutting again, didn't you?" he says and his voice is soft. I drop my eyes from his gaze and look down at my feet.

"Yeah." I say and he shits his eyes as soon as I say it. He sighs deeply and looks down as hell, his hand falling from my cheek and placed on his temples.

"I'm coming over tonight. I'm not leaving you alone."

"It's ok, Tyler. I'm not going to kill myself."

"I know, I just want to be with you... I've wasted enough time already." And with those words, how could I possibly object?

~*~

He drove me home, and we walked upstairs to my room. Now it's just awkward as he sits in my chair and I sit on my bed. I don't know what to say. I don't think he knows either. We spent so much time apart that it feels like we've lost something that needs to be regained.

"I failed you." he says quietly without meeting my eyes.

"No you didn't. I failed myself."

"Well you wouldn't have if I didn't shut you out." he fires back.

"I was the one who said what I did, and you took it the wrong way." His eyes shoot up to meet mine and he analyzes me.

"I should've known what you meant. You're my best friend. I should've picked up on it. You didn't want me to leave you after all of it was done, but what you never knew was that it was never my plan to leave you after you learned to love yourself. I was going to stay. I still am."

"I was afraid I was never going to see you again. I was afraid that you would hate me. I thought I was losing the one good thing in my life, and it was all my fault." I tell him and he looks at me with that same unknown expression he's used before.

"One good thing?" he asks me and the room falls silent. Maybe I should have said that differently. I feel my cheeks begin to heat up, and I struggle to find something to fill the silence. Some kind of response.

My eyes flicker over to him who is watching me with amused eyes and a slight grin threatening to show on his beautiful lips.

"Yeah.. I-I just meant that you're m-my best friend and all." I stutter out the words, and I'm mentally beating myself up right now because of my poor excuse of a response.

"I love it when you blush." he says as he lays back in the chair. I feel a sigh of relief when his eyes aren't staring into mine anymore. It's like being interrogated every time I'm with him.

"I'm sorry." he says after a long silence. I shake my head and look back at him. His aren't meeting mine, they're staring deeply into his folded hands. I want him to know. I do. I just can't bring myself to say it out loud.  I'm such a coward.

"I know. We can just move on, right?"

"Yeah, we can." he says and takes a deep breath.

And just like that, we sit in silence for the rest of our time together.

~*~

*screams*

I am unbelievably excited for the next chapter!!!!

thank you so much to the people who have stuck around reading for this long. You mean the world to me. Next chapter!! 👇