Everday Wattpad Problems

TWO|Adopted By A Famous British Boy Band

No.

Stop.

I don't want to read a story about you raging hormones getting adopted by famous British boy bands.  Sure, you may fantasize about getting adopted by the ENTIRE boy band, but does Wattpad need to consist of only these types of fanfics?

Here's an example of a fake "Adopted by 1D and 5SOS" fanfic I found (I'm putting this in my own words and edited it to make it my own):

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     Brianna Eve Shadow Knight Secret Warrior Cat Angel Minerva Ginny Luna Lacrosse woke up screaming at her mother. "I DUNT WANT 2 GO 2 THE COFFEE SHOP! UGH YER SUCH A TERRIBLE MOMMY!"

     "Well, Brianna Eve Shadow Knight Cat Warrior Angel Minerva Ginny Luna Lacrosse, I don't like the tone yer using. We're going to the coffee shop whether you like it or not!"

     Brianna's mommy slapped her across the face 5432515421 times, but Brianna did not want to give her sweet mommy the pleasure of seeing her cry. Before Brianna could leave her room, her mommy took out a knife and OMG! She began to whip her baby girl with a knife!1111!!!!!!!!11111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

543542 hours later

     "UGHHHHH WHY ARE WE IN THE COFFEE SHOP?!!!111!" Brianna shouted.

     "BC WE HAVE TO!" her mum yelled back.

     "I'M LEAVING!" Brianna left the coffee shop, leaving her $100,000,000 behind on the floor.

     "DON'T YOU DARE WALK AWAY FROM ME YOUN LADY!!!!!!!" her mother screeched.

     "I DON'T CARE, I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT, I'M AN 11-YEAR-OLD TEENAGER!"

     In the heat of the moment, Brianna left her mother and her lonely m0nee, crossing the street. Bria turned around to see her mommy running to her, tears in her eyes, until suddenly, A FRIGGIN CARROT TRUCK RAN OVER HER! Brianna laughed until she saw a hawt smexy boy do a hair flip as he swaggered outside

     "Sorry 'bout yer mum," said that incredibly hawt scottish accent that belonged to the voice of none other than a boy from One Direction.

     OMG OMG OMG!  ONE DIRECTION IS TALKING TO ME! I HOPE THEY ADOPT ME! Brianna thought excitedly, clapping her hands while Louis mentally kissed her.

     "lol i didnt lyke her anyways"

     "lol i was scared you was gonna press charges" Louis said, popping the 'p' in 'press', causing Brianna to swoon

     "i only do dat to ugly boys. but you is hawt, so nah."

     "wanna be adopted by one direction and five seconds of summer?"

     "shir!!!!!!!! :D" Brianna then leaned in to kiss louis passionately, running her hands through his hair. He did the same, then began to move his hands down her body. "EX-COOSE ME! THAT'S ONE OF MY NONO SPOTS! I'M ONLY 13" she cried out.

     "idc, i can do whatever i want."

     "okay XD"

     Harry Friggin Styles then did a hair flip with his insanely hawt poodle hair and walked out of the carrot truck. "Hai, wanna be my girlfriend?"

     "DUH!" Bri grinned. "Btw, Louis just adopted me! Isnt dat gr8 knews?!?!?!?!"

     "WELCOME TO THE FAMILY!" all 5- no 4 one direction members screeched like majestic howler monkeys.

     They all began to take turns kissing Brianna the 15-year-old passionately, until suddenly, a kidnapper came and tried to do the nono with her, but she was protected when one direction and five seconds of summer turned into ninja assassins and killed the kidnapper with their insanely hawt looks.

     The End

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Oml what did I just write?

1) Only Draco Malfoy can swagger.

2) I hate it when little kids somehow know how to be the best kissers in the world without any experience in these books. I would love to see a realistic (meaning awkward) first kiss on Wattpad. Most authors just write about movie-worthy kisses :/ Frankly, if some guy I hated decided to kiss me, I would run away screaming. But that's just me

3) I hate it when people make their OCs have such long names. I don't even have a middle name, so why bother to give your OC like 54352 middle names?

Disclaimer: I apologize if this story is offensive to you, I'm only just saying how being adopted by 1D is pretty cliché-ish. Also, I would like to point out that many kids do in fact, love their parents, and not all of them are abused by/abusive to them. Other parents are just too cruel, so yes, they do abuse their kids, but they probably don't try to whip their children with knives. If your parent does abuse you, again, I apologize if this cliché story made you upset.

-marIene_mckInnon