It's not what you think

Lifeless

I opened the door and greeted him. I was kind. At least as kind as I could be. I was scared out of my pants.
"Let me in. Now"
"Why? You hurt me earlier. You hit me."
"Let me in or I will hurt your brother. Now filthy bitch" I panicked my brother was a good kid and I didn't want anything to happen to him so I let Austin in. He pushed me back. I just stood back up. He said I deserved it for running. And that I shouldn't cry because it was nothing and he could have done worse. He took me upstairs and set me on my bed. He asked me how school was. And asked if I was doing okay school wise. I answered every question willingly. When I heard my mother come inside I was so happy.
"Austin i need to go back downstairs and see my mom. It's time for you to go home. Remember she can't know."
"I'm good I'll wait here for you to come back. After all I still haven't gotten what I came over here for." There was a wicked grin across his face and I was fearing for my life at that point.
"Okay" I walked out the door and as soon as he couldn't see me I ran down the stairs. I asked my mother to go to the store and get milk and eggs and bacon and hash browns for breakfast tomorrow and she did. It normally took her an hour or so to get two things but she was getting four so I knew we were in the clear for whatever Austin wanted. I know I sound like a terrible child but I did not want her to know about anything that was going on. I walked slowly back upstairs and entered my room. He was still there on my bed with his eyes closed. I tapped him and he opened his eyes.
           "Hello beautiful, what took so long?"
          "I was talking with my mother about school."
          "Oh. Now that we're finally alone, we can do what I wanted to do after we got off the bus before you ran away from me."
          "And what might that be?" I said it with confidence but I was scared shitless.
          "Just let me do my magic baby girl." I had absolutely no response to that. I was scared he was going to take my clothes off or something. He grabbed my arms and pulled me close to him. He lifted my head and kissed me. I didn't want him to but he wouldn't stop. He kept going. He deepened the kiss and bile raised in my throat but I quickly swallowed it back down as to not make him any more mad. His hands slipped under my shirt and I pulled it back down. He tried again and I did the same thing. He got mad. He screamed "bitch I told you to let me do what I wanted to do!" Then he raised his hand and smacked me across the other cheek. And then the same one again. Finally I just gave in and let him do away with me. I cried. He wouldn't stop cursing at me and hitting me. I had bruises all up and down my arm. And hickeys all over my stomach and neck. And when he finally stopped I was out of tears. He went home and I layed there on my bed. My eyes were open and I just kept reliving it over and over again in my head. Finally I got enough strength to get up and clean my bedding and the walls. I couldn't cry anymore. Mom would notice. And so would my sister and brother. I felt extremely exhausted so I went to sleep. When I woke up it was nearly time for dinner I put makeup all over everything and went downstairs. Dinner looked delicious. We began eating when mom said,
            "You all remember how dad and your sister were staying in our old house for just a couple more days to make sure they got everything taken care of right?" We both answered
           "Yeah"
           "Well when they were on their way back a drunk driver hit them and... well... your sister is fine, but... your dad ... well your dad is in critical condition. He's at the hospital and he's not doing so well and I'm going to take you out of school early tomorrow to go see them." I broke out in tears. I felt as if I was going to die. He was my father. I loved him. He was my rock. How could this happen. I stood up and ran out of the house. I ran down the street and I just kept running until I had no clue where I was. I sat down in the middle of a big field and looked up at the sky. And I just cried. My mother found me after about three hours and took me home. I didn't want to go home. I wanted to stay in the field. I memorized the way back so I could go there. It was a beautiful place and it felt safe. It reminded me of the field dad used to take me to so we could play tag and have picnics. I wanted to see my father. And my sister. I don't care about what's going on here I want to know what was going on there. Where he was. The next morning mom decided to just let me skip school and I was thankful. She took me and cadance to the hospital and all I wanted to do was die. I saw him there looking completely lifeless. He looked as lifeless as I felt. I ran into his room and I grabbed his hand. He was as cold as ice. I had never seen him like this I only ever saw him strong and courageous but never lifeless like he was now. I looked up at his face. When I saw him there he looked sick. And I just fell to the floor. I cried. I didn't stop crying. I cried for hours on end. I didn't stop for one second. I couldn't stop. Eventually I fell asleep and I didn't want to wake up. My sister came in. She woke me up and she had three stitches across her forehead and a bruise on her left cheek. She hugged me and didn't let me go. She and I just sat there in the chair holding each other.