Stargazing (Laurinah)

Save Your Pity

A/N I'm gonna try something different, tell me if I should keep it in only Lauren's POV or not and I don't know if I said this in Hey, I'm Gay, but Dinah is gonna be older than Lauren.

Dinah's POV

I never knew I could cry this much in so little time. I've shed more tears than I had in my whole 20 years of existence, in the span of 24 hours. My eyes burned every time I blinked and my chest felt as if an elephant had just sat on it. It was an indescribable crushing feeling that I hadn't ever experienced, and I wished that I wouldn't have ever felt it.

My head hurts from the amount of alcohol I consumed. I knew drinking wasn't right, but at that moment, it was the only thing that could alleviate the pain. So many times, I picked my phone up and began dialing the familiar seven-digit number, but hung up just before I could hear the dial tone. The last time I called, however, I actually stayed on the phone even after the familiar click sounded through my ears, even as she spoke the first words, even when I was too drunk to comprehend anything I was saying, and even when my heart broke even more as she called me 'Dinah,' instead of baby.

Why did she have to answer? Why couldn't she ignore my call like she ignored my heart? Why couldn't she run back into my arms and tell me how sorry she was to leave me? Why couldn't she say 'I do' and kiss me? Why couldn't we live happily ever after? And even after all the pain, she's caused me, why can't I hate her?

"You can get through this, baby sis," Shay says, rubbing my back. I didn't need this. I didn't need anyone feeling sorry for me, so I pushed her hand away and stood to my feet.

"I know I can. And by the way, I don't need any fucking sympathy," I mutter under my breath, my voice cracking as tears fill my eyes, but I refuse to cry. The familiar feeling of my throat closing up causes me to stop talking.

"DJ, you don't have to act like this. Please don't go back to how you were." She pleads, but her words go in one ear and out the other.

"Too late for that," I say, grabbing my keys from off of the table and slipping on my Nike sandals. "I'll be back whenever," I mumble as I snatch my jacket off of the coat hanger by the front door, leaving out of the stuffy apartment that held too much pain.

...

I drove around for about 10 minutes before I even knew where I was going. The one place I always went to whenever I didn't want to feel anything. As I slowed to a stop and put my car in park, I pulled my phone out and dialed a number I haven't since Lauren and I got together. It rang about 2 or maybe 3 times, I couldn't tell, when the once familiar voice, spilled into my ears.

"Dinah Jane Hansen, what a surprise."

"I'm outside, bring the stuff,"  I tell her hanging up. Before opening up my messages and going to Lauren's contact.

To: 🙈🙊Baby Momma😍😘 - 10:32 am - You broke my heart. The funny thing is, I still love you with each and every broken piece. But, heartbreak isn't even the worst feeling. The worst feeling is knowing I did the best I could, but that wasn't enough for you.

I pressed send and turned my phone off, as soon as I sat it down, I heard a knock at the window on the passenger side. I slowly raised it down seeing the familiar face of one of my longtime best friends who also doubled as a drug dealer. I unlocked the door and pushed it open letting her get inside.

"Wassup bish?" She said as she made herself comfortable in her seat. She turned her body towards mine and smiled, leaning towards me and pressing her lips to my cheek.

"Hey," I spoke somberly, avoiding her eyes, "So, you got the stuff or not? Cause if you don't I can go."

"The fuck," she said tilting her head and squinting her eyes, "That's how you greet a bitch? I'm offended."

"Man, shut the fuck up, bruh!" I snap rolling my eyes, "Now, do you got the shit or nah?"

"Damn, bitch. What crawled up your ass and died?" She giggled reaching into her pocket, "You can't be talking to yo dealer like that, you lucky I got what you wanted."

"Thanks, Lani. I owe you one," I say, pulling the shorter girl into a hug.

"You damn right you owe me one," She snaps, running a hand through her hair, "You lucky I didn't beat yo ass, but we Gucci. For now." She said kissing my cheek once more and placing the small baggie in my lap, before getting out the car and running back inside.

I shake my head and turn the key in the ignition then speed off, not even sparing a glance at the older girl who was still standing out in the middle of the street.