Stargazing (Laurinah)

Can't Seem To Forget

A/N: Warning, mentions of drug use and non-prescribed pill taking.

Dinah's POV

From: ShayBear🙊🙈🙋 12:21 am - Where the hell are you? I've been calling your phone all night.

From: ShayBear🙊🙈🙋 12:37 am - Please just call or text me, I need to know if you're okay.

From: ShayBear🙊🙈🙋 1:01 am - Dinah Jane!! It's 1 am, just let me know if you're alright. I'm so worried 😞

From: TorTor😜🙈🎸 1:15 am -Where the hell are you, young lady? You should've been home hours ago.

From: TorTor😜🙈🎸 1:47 am - Call or text us whenever. Just let us know if you're okay baby sis.

To: ShayBear🙊🙈🙋, TorTor😜🙈🎸  2:31 am - I'm alright guys, I just need space. So do me a favor and stop blowing up my phone.

I quickly power off my phone and toss it onto the pile of jumbled up covers on the floor. Pulling out the little baggie from earlier I flop down into a chair randomly sitting in the middle of the room. The bag held all sorts of drugs, from pills to weed to 'shrooms. I never really did any 'shrooms unless I was deeply depressed or I had nothing else to keep my high going.

I dug through the bag, picking up an orange colored pill and popping it into my mouth, swallowing it dry. It'll be about an hour before it kicks in, so I pull out some rolling paper and one of the miniature bags of marijuana.

'You shouldn't be doing this.' The voice in the back of my mind repeats over and over again, but I ignore it. I sigh, placing both items back in the bag, instead, picking up one of the shriveled up mushrooms. I roll it around between my fingers a few times, before plopping it into my mouth, slowly chewing it, closing my eyes and sighing in relief when the effects start almost immediately.

"Dinah Jane! What the fuck are you doing?" A familiar voice yells, from somewhere in the room. My eyes snap open, looking around wildly for the voice.

"Tsk...Tsk...Tsk," The voice comes out in a whisper, "I thought I taught you better than to be like me."

"W-who's there?" I scream, looking around once again, this time spotting the source of the voice on my bed. "J-Jasmine? No no no, you can't be here y-your..."

"I'm dead? Yes, I know, but I'm here for a reason." She says, staring out into her space. Her once brown eyes, now dull and covered in a blurry film, her skin sickeningly pale and her bones protruding through the thin material of her tattered baseball shirt.

"I'm here to help you before you drug problems start again and you end up like me," she says motioning to her body, a hand running through her hair, pulling at a fistful of hair.

"I-I don't have a drug problem!" I growl reaching for the baggie and pulling out a random pill.

"You will if you keep this up. I was a 20-year-old before, I know that you've done this before so please don't lie to me and don't lie to yourself." Jasmine steps forward and plucks the pill out of my hand, "If you don't have a problem, flush that whole bag down the toilet."

When I look up again, she's gone. I search the room, even checking out in the hallway, but there's no sign she was ever here. I sigh, shutting the door and walking to the bed and laying down. My phone beeps twice and I roll my eyes picking it up.

From: JazzyBoo💋 3:57 am - I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer, but you need to stop doing those drugs, they aren't gonna help just look where they got me. Anyway, it was good catching up with you baby girl. Much love.

From: JazzyBoo 3:59 am - P.s. I'm glad you moved on, see you on the other side. Xoxo Jazzy 💋

As soon as I read those, I grabbed the bag of drugs and ran into the bathroom, flushing each item down the toilet separately. I know I'm gonna regret this, but it seems like I'm making the right decision so I throw the bag in the trash and go back to my room.

To: Lauren 4:20 am - First love, someone I will always remember. Second love, someone I strive to forget. Your love, something I can't remember to forget. I'll give you time just as long as you give me some too.

To: Lauren 4:21 am - P.s. I still love you too, it's not like I can forget you in a week.

I let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding as some of the pain finally lifted off my chest.

"I love the stars." She would say as we would watch them through her window.

"Well, I love you." I would say bringing her closer watching as her green eyes shimmered. "God, do I love you."

My eyes snapped open remembering the flashback, it happened 2 nights after we had gotten engaged. We sat staring out her bedroom window, just enjoying the time we had together, I can't believe that was 6 months ago, time really flies.

I guess my mom was right when she said, "Sometimes you've gotta be your own hero and save your own heart. Because sometimes, the people you can't imagine living without, can actually live without you."

It hurts to think about, Lauren not being in my life. But maybe this time the old saying will be true, "Time heals all wounds." And I'm hoping against hope that a little time would heal all of mine.

From: ManManz 9:51 am - You do realize that today is Christmas eve right? Are you still coming to the party?

What the fuck it's almost 10 am? I didn't even realize I fell asleep.

To: ManManz 9:53 am - I'd rather chop off my dick and put it in a blinder.

From: ManManz🔥🔥 9:53 am - Guess that's a no. 👀

From: ManManz 9:54 am - I'll bring you some food. Ttyl bye