Different Struggles (Boyxboy+mpreg)

Part 6

"Alright, here are your little angels." Dr. Erin smiled as she moved the wand thing around to all the babies and started taking some pictures. Me and Ty and my dad where all smiling like mad men. I didn't want to look at Ty's parents. I wanted to be happy, and I was. One of the babies looked like it was trying to pull his other siblings to them. Another looked like it was trying to suck its thumb and the last one had it's hand up like they were trying to wave. I had happy tears again. Oh god. I tried to kill all of us. I grab Dr. Erin's hand to stop it. I didn't want to see them anymore. I didn't want to see the babies that I almost killed. I should have kept them though. What if I have a break down after they are born? What if I hurt one of them?

"Seth? Are you alright?" Dr. Erin tried to put the wand back but I held her wrist and the throb in my hand was pushed to the back of my mind. "Seth, your cut is finally healing. Can you let go and relax your hand?" She was talking slowly and calmly. She knew I was having one of my 'episodes', that is what her and the dude and chick called them. I started feeling sick and I wanted to be alone. I don't deserve to have these innocent babies inside me. They shouldn't be here now. I shouldn't be here now. My mother said it herself she didn't want me and that I should've been aborted.

"Seth, babe? You're fine. Okay? Will you look at me?" Tyler tried turning my head but I let go of Dr. Erin's wrist and put my hands to the side of my head. I shut my eyes tightly and shook my head.

"What's going on? What's wrong?" My dad asked.

"Seth, honey. You need to open your eyes. Alright. You are okay." Dr. Erin tried to take one my my hands but I tightened it and shook my head again.I brought my knees up to my chest and started rocking. 

"I'm sorry. I don't want this anymore. Tyler. I am going to be a bad daddy. I am not ready. I can't take care of them. What if I hurt them when they are born? Tyler I want to die. I don't want to live anymore! I'm useless!" 

"I am going to need everyone but Tyler to leave the room." Dr. Erin ordered but my father told her he wasn't leaving until he knew I was okay.

"I want them out! I don't want the babies!" I was going to start clawing at my stomach but Ty grabbed my hands and got on top of me. 

"Seth! Baby, please stop! You are not useless! You need to calm down and look at me!" I shook my head again and I had yet to open my eyes. "Open your eyes Seth. I need you to look me in the eyes well I am talking to you."

"I don't want them! Get them out! They don't deserve to have me as their father! Tyler, please. You don't need me! I am just a waste of space! Let go of me!" I start fighting back and moving all over. Dr. Erin called people in and they put restraints on my arms and legs and on my chest. I opened my eyes now and saw everyone off to the side looking worried and scared. I was making them feel bad. These are the people that I care about. They shouldn't be worried or scared for me.

"All I cause is pain! Let me die! I don't want to live!" I started thrashing around and Dr. Erin told the nurses to give me something and I was instantly getting sleepy.

"Seth, we needed to sedate you. You were getting to rough and we are scared for the babies. When you wake up you are going to have to be under our watch again. I'm sorry." I was numb. I barley heard her I was falling asleep. The last thing I heard was Dr. Erin filling my father and Ty in on my condition.

~1 month later~

I have been stuck in this hospital for almost 2 months now. Tyler and I have been working on work for home schooling but I can barley focus on it. My fathers has been watching me like a hawk ever since he saw my first break down.