He Never Did

Affairs of the Heart

I honestly try my best not to look at Stevie for the whole meal. I'm terrified of showing any arousal. Between tiring shows, disagreements, and pregnancy precautions, we haven't really touched each other in days, and she's killing me right now. Jeff and Linda's chattiness, and the kids enthusiasm is making this less tense, but Kristen is gripping my hand harder than usual, Stevie instinctively flicking her hair as my eyes pass over her. Will and Leelee are excited to see me, but I make sure Jacob isn't feeling left out, letting Will go and sit by him to colour in while we ordered food. Kristen is making an effort to laugh along every time Jeff interjects an awkward anecdote that usually focuses on me and Stevie in San Francisco, often leaving the latter woman blushing.
"Stevie, all I'm saying is that Javier had that punch coming!" Jeff presses.
"Punching is naughty uncle Jeff," Jacob state confusedly, all of us laughing.
"Oh baby you're right, it is wrong, your daddy was a bad boy back then," Stevie assures him, stroking his hair as Kristen rubs my hand.

Once we've finally eaten, violinists are playing across the dance floor, Linda forcing Jeff to follow her over there, Leelee racing after them. "Hey you wanna go Jake?" Stevie asks him, "Then you'll know how to dance with your little girlfriends at school." He blushes like his mother did moments ago, but shrugs and follows her. Kristen picks up Will and grabs my hand to signal she wants to join in. I find Jeff and Linda holding a smiling Leelee between them, Jeff's pace alternating between a dramatically slow waltz and a disco jig, Linda rolling her eyes in a pretence of irritation. Stevie is kneeling as she uses hand movements to methodically describe to Jacob how one should dance in this situation. Kristen puts down Will and Stevie winds up in fits of laughter as she attempts to school them both.
"Swap!" Jeff suddenly cries out, taking Stevie's hand as her fit continues. I tamely dance with Linda as Kristen takes care of the boys. We chat about the kids and the food, finding it hard not to stare at the twirling Stevie in the corner of my eye as Kristen pokes my butt to get my attention.
"The kids need the bathroom."
I nod as she disappears with them, my heart almost stopping as Jeff leans over with Stevie.
"Where's Kristen gone Linds? I feel like this lady is getting tired of my dancing, I wanted to try my moves on her. I'll steal a girl from you yet!"
Linda shoves him playfully and he shoots her puppy dog eyes.
"Guess I'm just going to have to steal my own beautiful wife from you! Swap!" He takes Linda into his arms and they trot off, leaving me and Stevie to face each other.
"I don't thi-"
"Come here!" She hisses, placing her arms around my neck. "Take my waist."
I follow her orders, trying not to think about how she feels beneath my fingers.
"Lindsey if you're not careful they'll think something's up," she whispers with a smile on her face as she meets Linda's eyes.
"You look so gorgeous I can't even look at you right now, I'm scared they'll know."
"Oh, I..." She closes her eyes as she appears to fight conflicting desires, "Why didn't you tell me she'd be here Lindsey?" I hear a crack in her voice.
"I didn't expe-"
"Oh thanks Kristen!" She beams as my wife returns with the kids, "He's all yours!" Her perfume lingers in the ark around us as she dashes to the kids. Kristen moves into me, rubbing her nose against mine.
"I missed you so much Linds, I wanted to surprise you a little, did you like it?" She gestured at the interior, leaning her head on my shoulder.
"I did, thanks honey."
"I love you so much."
"Yeh I love you too baby."

The show is fine, but Stevie barely acknowledges me for the entire two and a half hours, and when I try to find her and Jacob after, Karen tells me she's already left with him. I know she's upset with me and I can't really blame her. Sweaty and sleepy, I resign my worries for the night, riding back to San Jose with Jeff, Linda, Kristen, and the kids. After tucking both Leelee and Will in, I find Kristen splayed across the bed of our guest room, her expensive lingerie leaving little to the imagination. She crawls over to me and I lean back as she kisses my crotch. I lie back on the pillows, feeling up her breasts as we to hue. It's been a while and it's not taking much for me to get ready, wanting to have her this second. "Let me just shower baby," I tell her, feeling uncomfortable in my stinking clothes, and of course feeling a pang of guilt when the image of Stevie fighting back tears as we danced popped into my head.
"Huh? Let me join you baby..." She begs, tempting me more.
"OK, let me just...Go throw this shirt in the wash."
I pull it off, creeping downstairs to the laundry room where I fling it in the machine, dialling Stevie's number again and again. We can't behave like this anymore- like stubborn children- we need to make decisions, and soon. Angered, I give up and return upstairs, finding Kristen already in the shower. "Mmm, fvck baby," I mumble, slapping her ass as I rub against her soaking figure, nothing but getting off on my mind at this point. She begins stroking my length as she turns to meet my mouth. "Will you suck me?" I smirk. She nods, kneeling to pleasure me. I come pretty quickly as she spits my release to swirl down the drain. "Now you gotta return the favour," she demands as I rub shower gel over my chest.
"Go wait on the bed. I won't be five minutes." She dries herself off and slips back into the bedroom.

"Hey Kit I..."
She's cross legged on the floor in a towel robe, her eyes filled with tears, the contents of my wallet spread before her.
"I was looking for condoms."
"You, um, find them?" I ask pointlessly, knowing exactly what image is on the other side of the piece of paper she's holding.
"I don't understand Lindsey, what is this?"

***

Entering our hotel room just before midnight, I throw my mobile against the wall, taking a swig of neat whiskey before falling onto the sheets. Stevie is nowhere to be found, obviously not wishing to be anywhere near me tonight. I am restless for a long time before I sleep, feeling some deep sensation of unease within. I wake with a banging headache, immediately calling Stevie, sick of going around in circles- adamant on finding her. She finally picks up after two rings, but I speak first.

"Steph this is stupid, just, where are you? Kristen found out."
"I'm just across the hall, be-"
"I'm coming over now."
"No!"
"What the fuck? Why not Stevie?"
"There is no baby Lindsey!"