He Never Did

Only You Remain

"What the fvck is wrong with you!? You've just ruined my marriage with your lies, you spiteful fvcking bitch."
"What?" My head is spinning, this wasn't the response I expected. I want him to hold me and tell me everything is OK.
"That's right, I don't know if Kristen will ever forgive me this time! How could you do this to me?"
"You bastard! I just got back from the fvcking hospital where I was all night, and you didn't even pick up your phone!"
"But..."
"How could you think that I'd..." I hold my abdomen and fall the floor, barely able to breathe. "There was so much blood, no...No..." I am rendered immobile by visions of the previous night.
"Mommy are you OK?" Jacob appears in the doorway, rubbing his tired eyes.
"She's fine Jake, go and rest."
"No she's not daddy!" He runs over to me and I look up to touch his cheek.
"I'm OK honey, I promise you." Trying my hardest to look strong for him, "I'm just so tired you know? Go back to bed, I'll check on you in a moment." His eyes remain quizzical.
"Your daddy's here with me it's ok," he finally believes me and follows my instructions.
"Baby I'm so sorry," Lindsey begins as the door clicks shut.
""My lies Lindsey? My lies? Your entire marriage is a lie!"
I push his hands away from me as I haul myself up.
"Be careful!" He tells me as I fall back on the bed, my head banging.
"Do yourself a favour and fvck off back to your wife, you know? Like you always do."
"Steph, angel please. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, how did this even happen?"
"I'm just too old. My cervix was already weak from Jake." He begins to cry on his knees, leaning against the bed beside me.
"I love you Stevie. I loved her."
"I can't even look at you right now, leave."
"What?"
"I said fvcking leave. First you hightail off with your little whore and leave your phone switched off when you know I'm going through a risky pregnancy, and then you accuse me of lying about our daughter after I've spent five hours chained to a bed in a hospital as they pull her lifeless body out of me. I don't want anything to do with you!"
"Steph no, you know you're not serious, please."
"I will call security!" I threaten as I struggle hopelessly against the huge hands he's placed over mine, but he gives up when he sees the vitriol written all over my face.
"Don't think I won't be back," he sobs before anti-climatically closing the door behind him without a sound. I stand in the bathroom for a long time, not able to accept how much has changed in less than a day. I stare at my weary reflection, unable to stop my tears as my abdomen still reveals a small bump when I lift up my shirt. They said it won't disappear for a few weeks. I climb into bed, then repress a scream as I smell him on my pillow, my leg brushing a pair of his shorts left under the sheets. I remember Jake and enter his room, finding him asleep. This hotel bed is much larger than his one at home and so I am able to climb in and not disturb him, though I still fail to sleep for sometime as more sunlight begins to stream in; illuminating his little head of thick, brown curls.