He Never Did

Reunited

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I finally scream once we're in his car.
"How could you be so stupid Stephanie!" He bangs the steering wheel, a vein protruding on his neck.
"Let me call him!"
"Stevie are you not getting this?!"
"You're insane with jealousy Lindsey, you need help. You've hurt me!" I cry, rubbing my bruising pelvis.
"Stevie I came to save you. Fuck!"
"I don't understand!"
He threw a wad of papers at me.
I skimmed the dog-eared articles spanning decades, several involving him narrowly missing charges or convictions for murders or assaults of celebrities. "You knew this about him and you let me work with him?"
"I didn't know all of it."
"YOU BASTARD! YOU BASTARD!"

He skids the car to a halt at the side of the freeway and he grabs my wrists. I only now realise I'd been waving them at him.
"You're going to get us both killed!"
"You almost got me killed!"
"Stevie did you drink anything he gave you?"
"A little water."
"Alcohol?"
"I just said a little water!" I spit ferociously. I'm unsure of who I'm angry with more: myself, Lindsey, or the man I'd thought was a friend.
"You were about to sleep with him weren't you?" He asks acrimoniously.
I hang my head in my hands, trying to breath in a regular pattern.
"You were. You could've gotten yourself murdered just because you can't keep your legs closed. We have a son!"

I sit back up and blood rushes to my head, adding to the surreality of the situation. I feel as if I am in a dream world in which whatever I say or do has no consequence. "None of this would've happened if you had kept your's shut though would it Lindsey?!"
He curses exhaustedly, throwing his own head onto the steering wheel. The silence becomes stale after a while, and I feel I must end it. When I realise how close I just came to something terrible, and I stare at the man that saved me, I know what I can't do is direct more anger at him. In many ways I am right, and in some ways so is he, so I delicately place a hand on his shoulder rather than arguing or backing down.

His sigh coincides with a sniff and from the nature of the noise he makes, my heart sinks as I can tell he's crying too- it being obvious once he straightens up and I see his face. "Where's Jake?" I ask with a tone of worry, though I'm well aware he is Lindsey's priority too.
"He's safe, with your parents and Karen. They have security."
"Will they find him?"
"The police were on their way. I guess I'll call them, but we need to just...Go." He starts up the car again and we make it back to Los Angeles in record time. Before he can exit at the junction of our neighbourhood, I tell him I need a hotel right now, not wanting to walk back into a place where he'd been.
He obliges and when we reach the one he knows is my favourite without asking, I link my arm in his, hiding my face in his shoulder. He rushes the check-in by shoving a wad of notes toward over the desk, both of us eager to get away from the eyes of others.
He tucks me into the bed as if I were one of his little girls, exiting into the lounge to make the calls. I doze off out of emotional exhaustion before he can return to comfort me. I yelp when I wake, looking down to see the covers thrown off, ice packs seemingly burning the skin between my legs.

"Sorry for waking you but I couldn't let you lie in pain." I nod. "I just had to keep you quiet, I swear I'd never have hurt you otherwise Stevie." I stare at him.
"Please don't be scared of me Steph. Talk to me." His eyes are filling with tears and I know I must say something to persuade him that I wasn't speculating that at all.
"Lindsey of course I know you wouldn't."
He kisses my forehead and I close my eyes, leaning back as I register the numbness of the skin he is pressing the ice against.
"It's ok you can take them off now, I'll be fine." I tell him and he goes to dump the packs somewhere, in the kitchen I guess. I mean to dress myself but lie in thought instead. I close my eyes but see darkness envelop the room through my eyelids as I hear him come back in and close the curtains, even though some daylight is lingering outside. He climbs under the covers and his arms come around me, his lips working gently over my face and neck.
"Stay with me." I tell him, and he knows I don't just mean for one night.
He hums in response and we lie in this grip for a long time. Eventually I feel hungry, wandering into the lounge where I nibble on some crackers. He follows not far behind and I know it's because he hasn't slept either.
"I love you." I remind him as he lets me lean into him on the couch.
"Marry me?" He asks with such blankness that it seems more of a statement, him already assuming my answer.

And so, I do marry him. It's quicker than the first round of sex we initiate once we have reached privacy in the early morning hours at my parents' rented house.
Will we be happy? I'm not sure I even care now, and certainly know Kristen doesn't. We are entwined in a complication of limbs and he is finally asleep. His heartbeat is consistent against my ear; if all roads lead to Rome, apparently all moments must lead to him pounding against me and forcing me to acknowledge his existence. I softly giggle at myself for thinking that.

"Lindsey." I speak his name quietly without the expectation of a response, needing to feel him roll off my tongue as if he were a reassuring prayer. He shifts ever so slightly against me and I will wait in this position as long as it takes for me to fall asleep myself, as to not disturb him.
"Mommy?" I hear my son and see his silhouette in the doorway. I bring my finger to my lips and point at his father- my husband. My little boy quietly makes his way around the bed to crawl onto the side me and Lindsey aren't bundled up on, burying his head in the pillow, resting his knees against my back. "Is daddy with us forever now?" I hear him whisper at some point as the sun begins to rise far off in the East when I'm reaching drowsiness, not sure if his words are a dream.
"I am," Lindsey croaks tiredly. He tightens his hold on me and I manage to sleep soon after.

~T H E  E N D~