He Never Did

The Truth Is

I finally enter the car in a white dress and shawl, a huge floppy hat, and oversized sunglasses- practically an entire bottle of factor 50 sunscreen on my body.
"Uh, ready?" Lindsey smirks, scratching the back of his head.
"She is! Now let's go daddy please!" Jacob pleads from the backseat.
It's a warm day and we have the hood down, my hair dancing in the wind as we twist and turn along the scenic coastline.
I check my phone to find a text from Karen about a record company meeting tomorrow.
"Is that?" Lindsey asks before I even realise he's looking at me.
"No," I cut off his inquiry immediately, throwing the damn phone into the bottom of my purse, "You know I hate carrying around stupid technology!" I explain as he raises an eyebrow. I lean back in my seat, closing my eyes. I can almost pretend this is it for us and that Kristen doesn't exist. The soothing sound of the breeze and waves allow me to drift off, feeling a hand on mine as we reach a stop.
"Wake up sleeping beauty."
"Oh god...This is what happens when you get me out of bed before midday."
I shake myself awake, grabbing a coffee as Lindsey fetches ice-cream for him and Jake. He returns with three.
"Calories!" I warn him for the millionth time, wagging my finger.
"C'mon, just a little, I don't mind eating the rest," he patted his stomach.
"I think you could mind," I said sternly, perching my glasses on the end of my nose and surveying his slight pudge.
"Aww that was really mean."
"You know full well I'm kidding," I assure him.
You know full well I love you, I have to stop myself from saying.
"Mommy just needs to sit down and drink this to keep her alive, don't leave our sight ok?"
"Alive?"
"He's not being serious baby, I'll come and play with you in just a tick."
I sip at my coffee, Lindsey sticking the ice cream in front of my face, eating his own with his other hand.
"Oh for goodness sake!" I grab it off him, eating the tip that was threatening to melt over me. He finishes both his and the rest of mine as I empty my coffee, admiring Jacob's skills at building some type of sand fortress without any utensils.
"I think we should go help the poor boy." Lindsey suggests standing up. I nod, gathering my bag and shawl.
"You've...Stevie you've got a little..."
"What?" I say, folding my arms.
"Ice cream on your face."
"Oh god, where?" I ask drastically, apparently gesturing to every area but the region it was stuck to.
"Dammit woman, just let me do it." He complains, licking his thumb and then rubbing at the spot on my cheek.
"How do I look?" I ask seriously.
"The words I have aren't appropriate for this setting."
I pinch his arm and he yelps.

The beach we find is occupied by almost no one else, all of us being safe to relax. Jacob is exhausted from running around and swimming all day. I sit in the back so he can lean his head on me and sleep peacefully. "Aren't you tired Stevie?" He whispers back at we stop for some lights.
"You know I awaken as the night draws closer, don't be dense."
He smirks.

When we reach home, he follows me into the house carrying Jacob. I make tea as he puts him in bed.
"Want some?" I offer when he swaggers in. He comes up near me to sniff my cup.
"That nasty green shit? No thank-you."
I pout as he complains of there being no Coca Cola, listing off its health risks as he tells me he doesn't care. I cave and tell him Karen keeps some on the top shelf. He teases me that it's really mine. There's a break in the conversation and I know what he's about to speak of from the look of fake congratulation on his face.
"I'm glad you found someone Steph."
"You are?"
You give up so easily on me?
"Let's face it I don't have much choice."
"We were going to be a family."
"I think about it everyday Stevie, I look at you and I want to do so many things I can't."
"Yeh, well don't fuck her on my account." I get off the stool, walking away but feeling his fingers close around my forearm.
"You left me Stevie."
"I did not!"
"You did too, I would've stayed, you know I would've! And you think I want to watch some other guy move in with my wife and son?'
"Wife?"
"Shit," he curses at his slip of the tongue, "You know what I mean."
"Lindsey no one is moving in," I sigh.
"You said this was serious."
"I'm single Lindsey, I just...I wanted to prove a point and now I've hurt you unnecessarily and made myself look like an idiot."
"So Paul..."
"It was a drunken one night stand, happy? Because I am not!" I cry furiously.
I hide my face in my hands, shaking.
"Baby...I..." He takes me into his arms and for once I don't have the energy to protest.
After a while he looks down to press his lips to mine, rocking me against him. The grandfather clock rings and on it's seventh and last sound he speaks to me.

"Steph, I have to go."
"I know."