ghosts and cigarettes ; frerard

cry all you want to

that's when it all changed.

it was three am. frank rolled over in his sleep, eyes sealed shut with sleep, legs tangled in the grey sheets of his bed. his back was exposed, the pale waning moonlight filtering in through his window shining against the flesh stretched across the bone there. everything was quiet, peaceful; it was an uneventful night and the snow that had fallen overnight had dampened any noise coming from the tires revving across the pavement.

the silence was comforting, and frank was sleeping hard- he usually didn't, staying up late listening to music or playing his guitar and forgetting to go to bed, eyes usually red and burning from the few hours of sleep he managed to sneak in during the expanse of the day.

the silence was broken, however, by the harsh tones of a skype call. frank groaned a bit, eyelids parting a bit and squinting against the harsh blue light of his phone. he lifted it off his bedside table and stared with half shut eyes at the name on the screen.

incoming call from: gerard*:･ﾟ✧

frank swung his legs around so that he was sitting on the edge of his bed. he held the phone in both hands and, with a stiff and slightly clammy finger, pressed accept call.

the camera was on. all he could see was the top of gerard's head, the strip of skin showing flushed red. sniffling noises could be heard, and frank leaned forward, eyes squinted with concern.

"gerard? what's going on?" frank spoke in a quick hushed manner, an urgency evident in his tone. "are you okay?"

there was some more sniffling and the sound of a hand being drawn across a wet nose. "i-" there was a choked back sob and yeah, that was gerard, and he was crying. "i don't kn-know if i'm okay."

"what's going on?" frank's eyebrows creased with worry, all thoughts of sleep erased from his mind. :do you need me to come over?"

"i-" gerard closed his mouth on another sob to stay quiet. the majority of his face was still covered, but his eyes showed now- they were red and watery, the hazel of his eyes being covered with a glossy shine that highlighted the watery streaks on his face. "that would- that would be great." gerard's eyes smiled a fake, watery smile and he mumbled something that frank couldn't hear.

frank didn't press on it, though, and settled on saying "hang on, i'll be right there. see you soon."

he didn't hesitate on hanging up and pulling on some jeans over his boxers. he shoved his arms through the sleeves of a hoodie, not bothering to put on a shirt- besides, he could just zip up the hoodie, and he was in a hurry anyways.

he quickly tiptoed downstairs and out the door, making his way to gerard's house (which, at this point, had become muscle memory; it has been over a month since they had first kissed and frank had gone to his house almost every day of the week since.)

the door was unlocked.

this was a bad sign- mikey was incredibly protective of his brother and the rest of his family and always made sure the door was locked. frank frowned a bit and pushed the door open, taking in the darkness and the silence of the usually bright and lively house.

"gerard?" frank called, listening to the sound bounce off the walls of the empty rooms in the house.

he made his way through the house, towards the staircase to the basement. the basement of the way household held special memories for him- he and gerard would disappear down there as soon as they got into the house, watching the winter soldier until one of them fell asleep on the other's lap.

usually mikey would come down and check on them every thirty minutes or so to make sure frank was treating his brother right. gerard would usually be the one to fall asleep during the movie and frank would hold his head in his lap, curling his hair around his fingers, eyes following the pale lines of gerard's face as he slept. mikey would smile slightly and move back upstairs, only to come back down half an hour later.

frank pushed the door open to the basement so it was slightly more ajar than it was. he slipped through the crack, eyes adjusting to the even darker black of the space around him. "gerard?" he called again, softer this time. he was silent, waiting for a response, and this time he got one- a small, wet, almost silent and undetectable sniffle coming from down the stairs. frank carefully made his way into the basement and towards the couch in front of the now dark television. a soft blue glow illuminated the outline of the back of the couch, coming from underneath a ragged checkered blanket that frank knew all too well. "gerard," he spoke softly, watching as the shadows danced a bit against the blue light. "it's frank. i'm here."

he moved around to the front of the couch and say on the edge gently. the blanket covered his boyfriend's frame, shrouding his head and muffling his sobs. "can i take off the blanket?" frank whispered, placing his hands lightly on the blanket covering his back. he drew his hands back a bit when he felt his body flinch at the contact of his fingertips, but gerard soon leaned into his touch. frank saw gerard nod under the blanket and he gently drew back the blanket, his insides churning a bit more when he saw his boyfriend's appearance.

gerard's hair was greasy and unkept, hanging in strands around his face. his eyes were red rimmed and watery, dark circles surrounding the usually hazel eyes. his skin was red and flushed, tears streaked and slightly dirty, sweat stained and shiny in the dim light emanating from his phone which he held in one sweaty palm.

as he made eye contact with frank, gerard's eyes watered again, fresh with new tears. frank scooted closer on the couch and gerard curled up against him, knees tucked to frank's chest, legs draping over his knees. he buried his face in frank's shoulder, and even with only his hand on gerard's back, he could tell that gerard was holding his breath, keeping his cries in.

"let it out, sugar." frank spoke into his hair and, as soon as the words left his lips, sobs escaped gerard's chest in heaving gasps of air.

frank was silent, letting gerard cry into his shoulder. his sweatshirt grew damp with every passing moment, and get he couldn't bring himself to care- all he wanted was gerard to be safe, and more importantly to be okay.

the sobs slowly died, muffled by frank's shoulder. he rubbed gentle circles onto gerard's back, speaking in hushed tones, not saying anything in particular- just saying things meant to sound comforting. an apparently, it worked- the heaves of gerard's chest gently died over time.

the clock on be table next to them read 2:38am when gerard finally drew in a deep, shaking breath. he sat up a little, still curled into frank's frame.

"you okay?" frank asked gently, bending his neck slightly to look into gerard's red eyes. gerard hesitated, chin trembling a little. he quickly shook his head and buried it back into frank's shoulder. frank sighed a little, eyes burning from exhaustion and worry. "you wanna talk about it?"

--

i want death !!!

so story time i finished this just now and i am also watching iron man at the same time and my dad was yelling at me for havin f my phone out and he can be so mean wow

also i'm sorry about the cliffhanger yike hhhh i can't write anymore right now

also it's been a month since i last updated this yikes

-urie