° + * Soramafu Oneshots * + ° (PART 1) [COMPLETED]

36. The Words Left Unspoken

A/N : Okay. Another author note at the starting but please don't worry, this is another chapter, an angst. It's in Mafu's POV, and so, please enjoy.

I stared at all the students laughing and giggling. I can't remember the time when I can laugh like them, I thought, my face a mask of nothing.

Not when-

Not when he died.

"Hey, Mafu." I turned at the voice, thinking that it might be him, but it was only Amatsuki. Heh. You should have recognized his voice anyway. Have you forgotten his voice? Tears lingered at my eyes, but I blinked them away. "What's wrong?" Amatsuki asked worriedly. "Nothing," I replied, trying to force my lips into a smile everyone are so familiar with, but failed. Instead I end up with a blank look, making Amatsuki frown.
"Are you okay?" "Yeah," I mumbled a little, before standing up. "Where are you going?" The brunette asked me. I looked at him blandly. "Home."

Instead of going home, I went to a big cherry blossom tree, where he is buried under. "Hey, Soraru-san, I lived for you." I tried to smile again but failed. Again. "But I can't feel happy." I sighed and sat in front of the grave, my palm against the smooth tombstone.
"I mean, of course I feel happy for Amatsuki, he got confessed to by Hashiyan and Kashitaro, you know. You would be so happy knowing this. But....But I'm broken, Soraru-san." A tear slipped down my cheek but I ignored it. "I don't think I can love anyone anymore. Not after you...", I trailed off, sobbing openly now. I can feel warmth around me, as if his arms are around me, and is whispering soothing words to my ear. "I can still feel your presence, even though it's already two months since you left."
I took another deep breath. "Why must you leave me? I can't live without you. I'm pretty sure you know this. Are you listening? I still have so many things that I want to tell you. I still have so many places I want to show you. But..you left me. Now the only thing I am left with is your promise to wait for me on the other side."
"I missed your kisses, your sweet words, your hugs, and the way you always try your best to express your love for me. But n-now, I think I'm forgetting your voice, your face, your smile.." I let out a small sob. "I miss you so much. So, so much. And I still love you." I pressed a chaste kiss to the tombstone, letting my tears drop on his carved out name.

I will continue to live.

Even if I hate my life, even if I can't take it anymore, I'll still live.

For you.

I stood up and left the spot, promising under my breath to come back and visit him.

"I'm back...," I muttered when I opened the door of my apartment. I used to share with him, but now, it's completely mine. And so completely alone now. I glanced at Soraru's favourite seat by the window, and slowly made my way there. As usual, I sat at that spot and stare out the window. I want you back.... I shook my head and went to bath.

Ding dong...

I opened the door to see no one but a small box. Mewling noises can be heard from the inside of the box. I took it and opened the top.
To see a small cat with blue-black fur, kinda raven-coloured, with startlingly blue eyes. It stared at me, and I felt something stirring in my heart. "I'll name you... Sora," I told it. It just inclined its head, like it agreed to the name.

Maybe this is a present from Soraru-san?

*° + °*

"Soraru-san, meet Sora!" I told the grave. I could almost feel his presence as I held the cat up. Sora just purr in delight. "I can finally smile for you." I smiled. "I can still remember your message, when you told me that you loved my smile. Now,..." I ignored the tears that fall. "I can finally smile again. I love you, remember that, Soraru-san. I'll always love you." I laid the bouquet of flowers on the grave and like usual, I kissed the tombstone, before leaving with Sora.

I love you.

A/N : Okay. This is kinda a prequel/sequel to Your Smile. I hope you guys had like it, and I'm kinda in a dilemma. For the next chapter, should I write fluff (I suck at that), angst or smut....:( idk so help me out here? Anyway yeah....it's not really an angst, is it?

----nomuraaru