Coming Out Stories

Story 11

Growing up in a very tiny town in northern Wisconsin, we weren't exposed to very much. Little to no racial diversity, no real differences other than religion. My family was a very close minded group. I remember being at my grandparents when Ellen came out on her television show and my grandfather said " he would never watch anything with that dike again". I knew in my middle teen years that I had what I thought was a strange relationship with girls. It was so much easier to want to be friends than be girls than it was to want to date them. I didn't want to date guys either, not that there were any to date. Turns out everyone knew I was different, which made things rough. I was teased, taunted, pushed into lockers, had my book bag dumped out multiple times. One time my gym clothes were soaked with water before I got to class. I was called fag, queer, homo, etc... For me it was more than I could deal with. Many times I thought about suicide, many times I wanted to do it. One time I even came close. What stopped me is the thought of my parents or my sister finding me. I couldn't do that to them. I graduated high school in May of 2001, and began working on an ambulance service for a very strict catholic hospital system. A few months had passed by and my dad died in August of the same year. Sadly the bullying did not end in high school. My boss had sad during a medical call that there was no way in hell that he would take care of a faggot, he would rather let them lay there and die before he touched them. Living with my mother and sister, I didn't have a male figure I could go to. Condoms were left in my locker with a note, "so you don't get AIDS", rainbow stickers were left in my mailbox "thought you could use these". Granted the harassment wasn't as bad, but the taunting made me feel as though I had this large secret and could be outed, and subsequently fired at any moment. 

By this time I have figured out that I was indeed gay, but knew that I could not come out. The idea of suicide hadn't changed, but seeing how it affected others, still couldn't do it. I was finally outing myself to my family, some said "bout time, it was shit or get off the pot time". Their comfortability made it easier to tell others. I finally got to a point to tell my mother, it was easier than I thought at the time. She acted okay with it, but didn't want to talk about it and preferred I didn't either. It got bad enough it caused a riff between us and I eventually ended up separating myself from my entire family. Skip ahead, we ended up reconnecting after I met my then fiancé. When I reestablished a relationship, I did so with the security of him by my side. I still feel that there are issues with my family and certain acceptance. My mother doesn't introduce my husband as her son in law, and that is an issue, but I would rather have what we have, than nothing at all. Today I am still saddened I never got the opportunity to share with my father who I am, who I have become, and the AMAZING MAN i get to share the rest of my life with. I don't know if things would be different had I came out earlier, but I am happy how things ended up.

Today, I couldn't be happier. I am married to an absolutely incredible man who created this wonderful website. We have a house in the suburbs, two adorable bassets, and we get to take exotic vacations. I have to say however all that material items do not matter, because we are surrounded by some of the most amazing, caring accepting people in the world. For that I am eternally thankful!