Secret Mind ✓

Diary entry 4 - Maintaining invisibility.

*2 weeks later*

I'm now going to my new school. It's consists of no uniform seeing as it's a public school.

I'm wearing a Ballin Paris black sweatshirt, denim jeans, coffee coloured ankle high boots and a grey beanie. My hair had been brushed but I didn't tie it up.

Since I've been cutting I've been doing less and less with my hair. Now it just falls shy of my waist line.

Here and there, my wrist would hurt but I ignore the pain because at the moment I cut, I feel light, like the heavy load of bricks has been lifted for those mere seconds. I take back what I said about eating my feelings away. That does nothing that makes you gain fat and that is something I am not to keen on doing.

But that light only lasts a second or two.

I have been wearing long sleeves so that no one would see them.

I decided I wanted to show up early so I could tell my teacher I wanted to remain unnoticed.

"Hello?" I ask quietly.

"Hello, deary. How may I help you?" My new teacher asks.

"Umm. Are you my home room teacher? I'm new here." I sigh lightly.

"What's your name, sweet cheeks?" She asks sweetly.

"Evangeline Roman." I say slyly.

"Beautiful name." She says as she flicks through paperwork.

"Thanks." I mumble under my breathe.

"Ah ha. Here we go! Evangeline Roman! You are in my home room! May I ask Why you asked?" She questions.

I sigh in annoyance. "I wanted to let you know I'm new and I just don't want to make a grand entrance. I just want to walk in the class and not get noticed!" I say staring at the floor as my finger tap against my thigh. I do that when I'm nervous or frustrated.

"Why would you want that?" She presses further.

"I'm really shy and I'm sort of grieving. I lost someone that meant a lot to me and I don't want people staring at me curiously. I just want to sit at the back of the class and get my works done. If that's okay with you?" I shrug my shoulders.

"If that is what you wish. Are you sure though?" She asks.

"I'm sure of it." I smile gratefully. "Oh, also, do you think you can point the music room out to me? Can I use it during recess and lunch?"

"Yes. After period two come back here and I'll show you it. You like music?" She asks with a genuine, curious smile on her face.

I play with the end of my jumper and let my hair fall in my face with a small blush appearing on my cheeks. "Yeah."

"You write music?"

I hold my mouth shut at how...informal and un-teacher like she's talking. I like her! "Um, yeah, but only recently."

All of a sudden the bell rings signalling home room is beginning. "Well, better take your seat at the back of the class. The desk over there is free." She points to an empty seat.