I just have to get out.

Part 3

Luca loosened his grip around me, but not enough for me to complain and pull his arms tighter around me. He seemed to be still talking to the people, asking for advice on if I had another ‘episode’ they seemed to call it. I didn’t pay attention; I was content with staring up at Luca’s face and imagining him kissing me once more. He must’ve noticed because occasionally he’d look down at me and smile his famous, glamorous smile that he was renowned for. It was like as if he could read my mind. But we hadn’t spoken yet. He was trying to concentrate on what the two guys where saying but he couldn’t quite manage it. He seemed to nod in all the right places as the doctors, that is what I now plan to call them now, seemed happy with all the arrangements that had been made.

They guided Luca and me towards the grand doors that stared upon us as we approached. I didn’t have much stuff when I first got to the place. I wouldn’t have much stuff now and the things I did own, I didn’t want to keep. I didn’t want memories of this place. Ever.

The ‘grand’ opening of the doors gave me a sense of relief and hope that would come with going back into reality. But that hope didn’t last long. I didn’t want to go back. It would be too soon. I wouldn’t fit right back in. Before, I was nearly friends with everyone. Now, I’d just be the outsider.

I began to hyperventilate and Luca tightened his grip on me and stopped. He turned me around to face him. I had to look up, into his eyes. Why did he have such amazing eyes?! He just looked at me before bringing my face close to his. So close that I could feel the soft touch of his breath. Oh how I’d missed this sensation.

“Don’t worry Yvonne. I’ve got you. You’re coming to stay at my place for a bit. While your mum sorts some things out with her boss. I’ve arranged this all”, He whispered, his breath tickling at my face before bringing me in close, till I was pressed lightly up against his chest.  He stroked my hair, in a calming fashion. “I’ve got you.”

He gently rocked me, and him, on the spot. It had been 5 minutes before he loosened his grip and took my hand in his. His hands were hot with anxiety. He was most likely to be anxious on how I would behave out of a controlled condition. Where the outcome couldn’t be predicted straight away. But I will behave myself. I will learn to control how I feel.

It felt like so many hours had flown by when we had reached Luca’s house. His parents were in. I could tell, their car was in the driveway and I could hear people talking and saucepans rattling around from inside the brick compound. I wondered if Luca had really meant that I would be staying at his house and that his parents knew. I didn’t want him just to be saying these things to make it seem like he was trying to be nice in front of them doctor people back at the ‘hospital.’

Stopping a short way from the front door, Luca turned to me again, my eyes still attached to his front door which had been repainted since the last time I had been there. This time, it was orange and completely different from other people’s doors along the rows. Touching my face gently, he guided my face round so that my eyes were on him. And only him.

“Whatever happens from now on, don’t forget, I’m here for you. I always will be here for you,” He gently muttered this, leaning his forehead against mine and breathing in my scent that I remember him doing many times before everything happened. He linked his fingers with mine and confidently strode towards the door with me in pursuit behind him.