I just have to get out.

Part 18

I was worrying. I tried not to let it show but somehow Sappy cottoned on to my worries. She came up to me after the announcement. “Yvonne? Is everything alright? You look a bit… discoloured and worried,” She asked, guiding me indirectly towards the front room where there was no one. Everyone else was either milling around in the Kitchen or just in the room just next door.

We sat down and sat in the calm and serenity of the room before I opened my mouth. “He’s going to go and leave me. I know you’re here and everything but I need him Sappy. I need him and he knows that. But why are his parents sending him away from me and his life he has set out here?” I asked these questions in a rush, feeling the tears threaten my eyes to roll down my cheeks. I didn’t want to be seen crying by Sappy.

“Oh, didn’t you know? His parents were planning it all just as you were released. They knew you and him would basically hold onto each other but listen, you have Ethan and me to keep you company. I know we don’t compare a single bit to Luca, but you’ve still got us to keep you going through school,” She announced this like this was known information, with a sympathetic tone. I know that she means well but she can’t just announce this like it was known for a year. When did she get told?! Honestly, Ethan and she could go to hell. They know what went down. They know why I need Luca but they say they will be there? Screw that.

Ethan would take his chances with me and Sappy would blame me. I can see it all happening now. Luca, Oh Luca, why do you have to have plans arranged now?

I huddled myself into a tight space, wanting to disappear from the world. My only hope was to find Luca and question him, come down on him like a hailstorm to find out this information. Maybe it was his parents’ choice after all and he was just going along with to keep the peace or maybe he was only going for a period of time and then he would be back. No big deal…

I closed my eyes, drowning out the world with the pounding of my heart in my chest. It was like it was trying to explode from my chest to entwine itself with Lucas, to make him stay with me or me with him. It passed time, as I seriously wanted to live and die in the tight space that I was sitting in right now.