All Just Words

FAMILY

I hastily left the bathroom and told the group that I wasn't feeling great and that I was going to head home. I'm lucky to live near everything so the station is only a short walk away from where our house is. It didn't take long before I found myself signing in at the front desk and walking briskly towards the basic wooden door with the plaque DC K.E-Leesa.

"What is you obsession with this case?" I asked walking straight into DC Leesa's office.

"I do not have an obsession. I just feel that justice should be given to those who deserve. And in this case it's you. After everything that has happened it concerns me that you're still calm." I shook my head and rolled my eyes at her comment.  "All we need is just some more evidence and I assure you that it-"

"How?! How can I? They been practically non existent for the past 4 weeks. I don't know what you more want me to do. I'm not going to go and provoke them. There's no telling what they might do. I don't want anyone else to get hurt" I let out a worried sigh, pacing around her office.

"No one will. We just need to get out there and find something, anything that will help with your case" She said leaning back against the front of her desk helplessly.

"You don't understand do you?" I snapped. "You just don't get it. My best friend was seconds from being run over by them, I nearly died trying to save him, Aiden...my little brother is one more incident away from having a mental breakdown. The worst thing is that he doesn't show his emotions, he keeps them bottled up and hiding himself away from everything. Charlie is trying to be the strong one, but I know her more than she thinks. She is struggling to juggle making sure that I'm ok and that the rest of our group is ok, she is putting herself second as usual, not once have I seen her think about herself to do anything for herself, she's not eating properly, not sleeping properly. Noah is so stressed out trying to look out for everyone and make sure that nothing happens to Emily. And Emily well she...she is expecting." I paused, thinking about what would happen to them. "They are like family to me. If anything happens to them I will never be able to forgive myself.

"What about you? Would you be able to forgive yourself if your family got hurt or taken away from you?" I moved closer decreasing the gap between us.

"Now Mr Evans I know that you're upset, but there is no need to bring my family situation into this" She said sternly, taking a step towards me.

"Don't Mr Evans me. You are completely oblivious. God forbid if something happened to that child's parents. That kid will have to grow up it's whole life not knowing how selfless their parents were. That child will have to grow up not knowing anything about them. That child will have to grow up not having anyone to learn from, no one to guide them through life." I paused for a second realising that what I'm saying, actually relates with to me and Aiden. But I continue anyway "But it's not like you would understand that. You probably have a loving family, with children and a husband who cares for you and would do anything for you. You probably don't even have to worry about anything because everything in your life is so perfect. I mean look at you." I spat, staring her up and down, walking further away from her.

"Nathan. Don't you dare talk about my personal life like you know everything. You have no idea, what I have to go through everyday. What I think about, who I think about everyday. I can tell you now that my family is not perfect. I split up with my husband when my two boys were still to young to not have their mother around. I thought about them everyday, regretting every moment in their lives that I have missed, asking myself if I will ever see them again?" She said choking on the verge of tears. "When I knew that this case was going to happen. I jumped at the chance to lead it. You're probably asking why I'm telling you this?"

"Yes I am. But that's beside the point" I hissed "I just can't believe that you just cant forget the fact that nothing is going to happen, unless you stop obsessing over this case"  I couldn't even look at her. Instead I aimed my glance at her disorganised desk filled with countless amount of opened files and random documents sprayed all over, I saw her name plate sticking out of the pile of paper. Something about the initials, triggered a name. One that I haven't heard of or spoke of in a long time. K.E-Lessa "Unrelated question but what does the K stand for?" I need to make sure and I need answers.

"Kate." She said softly. "Why you ask?"

"Nothing, it's just there was someone who I thought the world of when I was younger, but then she left. Leaving me, my brother and my dad."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. I guess you really do know how it feels after what you have told me."

"No, I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that. I'm so sorry." She quivered, coming over to me, but knowing to keep her distance.

"What are you going on about?" I questioned harshly. But then it clicked. This woman standing in front of me, was someone who I despised for years and who I never forgave for what she did to her family, I am now face to face with. I should have so many things to say, but at the moment I can't find one. I walked over to the door and stared at the mirror on the back. She moved so that she was now standing behind me and that both of our reflections could be seen, I flicked between the two, finding the similarities. The dark coloured eyes, the slightly tanned skin, the dark ebony hair that is becoming visible at the roots of her hair exposing her natural colour through the dirty blonde.

She came closer and I could see her hesitantly placing a hand on my shoulder. Instantly a wave of reassurance came over me and that warm, comforting touch from a parent finally came back after all those years of being absent. I looked her directly though the mirror and she smiled meekly at my action, trying to hold back everything and stay professional.

"You kept the name. Evans. Evans-Leesa." I said repeating the name, not moving my eyes from hers in the mirror.

"Of course I did. It was a constant reminder of what I had before."

"You look so different?" I turned around.

"I know I do. I just needed a fresh start, even if that meant removing my old identity. So I changed as much about me as I physically could."

A silence came between us, each waiting for the other to say the one question that they themselves are too afraid to ask.

"So..." I ran my fingers through my hair and placed them in my pockets.

"Still doing your old habit then" She pointed to my hands in my pockets. "You don't have to feel nervous. I'm not going to do anything. I just want to start again and build up a relationship with my son." She looked at me with pleading eyes, not knowing what to say I looked down to the floor. "I understand. But I want you to know that whenever you need something, you know where I am"

"I know. It's just strange and I feel kind of stupid for not noticing that it's you earlier. The amount of times that I've seen you and I never thought once that it was you. But I mean I was out of my mind on whatever drugs the hospital gave me" I laughed lowly and she joined me.

First I have found my brother... now my mother. Maybe I'm not as "broken" as I thought.