All Just Words

MISSING YOU

A/N: I am a little bit obsessed with musical theatre and I was listening "With you" from Ghost the musical and it gave me inspiration to write some one the dialogue in this chapter. If you want to listen to it whilst reading then please do.
AVH x

For once darkness is the only thing that I can see, for what feels like an eternity, the steady beep of the machine monitoring my every breath, every reaction in my body, the beep is the only message letting me know that I am still alive.

I lie there trying to force myself to move, force myself to let her know that I am ok. My life now is the living meaning of the waiting game, they have even threatened to take away my only lifeline to try and make me be independent, try to make me breathe for myself. But I can't.

I'm just happy that Alex can live and breathe another day.

I have never wanted to see her so much, I have never wanted to speak to her so much and just to let her know that I am with you.

Everyday no matter what she always comes in and talks to me telling me about what people have said about what's happened, asking about my day she even talks to me about every detail of the events of her day and what people have said to her to tell me and that she sends my regards to them, even though she knows that she won't get a reply. I can tell that she is scared. Still she is trying to stay strong, for me. I feel like I'm trapped in this internal vortex, paralysed. Stuck in a body that can here and understand what's going on but cant respond.

One day, she came in to see me, she told me that I looked better and that she can't wait to see me again, the usual routine. She came over to me and held my hand that was not attached to the endless machines trying to keep me alive. Her hand was cold, not the normal warmth that always comes from holding her, I would do anything to hold her once again.

Charlie came in again today. However today was different.

"Hi Nate, how you been?" She spoke softly whilst the chair scraped against the floor of my hospital room. As usual I said nothing. "I've been ok, I didn't do much today, I just tidied the flat as normal, ironed your clothes caused I know that you will need them soon. I know this will sound weird but they still smell like you." She laughed a little. There was a small silence before she continued excitement laced her voice.

"By the way Alex, Noah and Emily told me to say hello and that they are sorry that they haven't been able to visit yet, I have put them on your visitation list, I hope that was alright with you?" She continued "I still think of you every day, I even went back to the park where you fell off the swing trying to impress me and ended up with that bruise on your forehead, for weeks you attempted to hide it with your fringe, you're so clumsy sometimes. And guess what I found the tree that we carved our initials in. I think about it now how cliché that was. But now I know how much that piece of wood means to me"

I felt something wet fall onto the back of my hand, then it felt it again and again. She was crying.

"I write all these letters to you that I give to you whenever I come here, but I know you will never read them. I know it sounds crazy to do something like that but it's a way to getting out what I'm feeling. Cheesey right?" She let out a weak laugh.

"So I might as well tell you what they say. " I heard the small movements of paper, she exhaled deeply then continued,

"I'm sorry Nate, I'm so sorry. I can't help to think that it was my fault, I don't know why? But you took every part of me with you. You took my love, took my laughter, took my tears, took me with you. I still walk around home calling out for you thinking that I will be sitting in your normal seat, with your hair all messed up after an eventful night of hard core movie marathons or that I will wake up with you beside me, but instead it is just cold and lonely, I keep hearing your voice but I know that it is all in my head. You brought so much to my life, you don't understand how much you have changed me, how much you mean to me, how much I miss you, I don't know what I would have done without you in my life.

"We have all these unfinished conversations, unfinished arguments and I wish you could just do something to say to me that you're ok. You're my soulNate and I need you. I promised that I would never leave you and you promised the same thing. So why are you doing that to me? Why are you leaving me? A promise is something that was supposed to be kept." Charlie let out a shaky breath, paused then sniffed before continuing.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have shouted at you. It's just that I promised to protect you. I'm sorry that I have failed you Nathan. Please come back to me. Please forgive me, I'm so sorry. Please. I know that these may be all just words to you, but if I have learnt anything from you is that words have a bigger impact on someone than you think and that they all have a hidden meaning underneath them. So I hope that these words have that meaning that you always talk about and that you understand what I'm trying to say to you. Because every word that I say comes from the deepest depths of my heart and I mean every word."

She leant down and kissed me. Her lips still fitting perfectly with mine, warming my stone cold body. Her kiss feels different this time, instead of love and passion, it is more gentle and compassionate.

Something within me clicks, like my internal switch has been flicked on, I feel sensations surging through my body that I have never felt before, I begin to feel again, I take the chance, the leap of faith.

The blinding light from the florescent lights above me shine down on me warming my hand which is itching to feel her again. I woke up with the most beautiful sight of the one who loves me the most. This whole moment feels like a fairy-tale, when the spell if broken with true love's kiss.

I guess I'm living in my own personal one.

I shape my own lips to fit against hers and return the action that she is giving me. I move my hand to the back of her head running my fingers through her soft hair, pushing her closer to me. I could feel the surprise and happiness flow through her as she smiled against my lips, cupping my face in her hands.

"I knew you would come back to me"

"I always do, no matter what"

"No matter what, my soulNate"

A/N: Chessy I know I just felt like I had to have a cute moment between them...OK.

AVH xx