Can It Be? ; A Joshifer Story.

Fourteen // Room Service.

I pack the next morning. I don't know what to pack, so I pack the basic stuff.

Around ten o'clock, I hear a dull soft rap on the door. I sigh, get up off the couch and make my way to the door. I open it, and he stands there, a huge smile plastered on his face. He holds out a small bouquet of bright white and yellow daisys.

"For you." He whispers softly. "These are for you." He continues again when I don't answer right away.

"Thank you." I smile and take them. I turn and walk into my hotel room. When I don't hear his footsteps, I turn and look at him. "Aren't you coming in?" I laugh.

"Oh, yeah s-sorry." He says scratching the back of his neck.

"There's stuff in the kitchen if you want anything. I'm not done packing." I tell him as I walk towards my room.

I silently pack, and stand up putting my suit case on the bed. I feel hands on my hips, and a face pressed softly into the back of my neck.

"Josh stop.." I whisper. "Not now."

"Why not?" He replies softly.

"Just no." I whisper turning around.

"Just one kiss?" He asks.

"Fine."

Before I can think, his lips are on mine. They caress mine softly and lovingly. I break and turn away.

"Okay, that was one kiss." I say breaking from him and taking my suit case into the living room.

It's silent, neither of us talking. But what is there to talk about?

My head pounds, pleading me to ask what he needs to tell me but refuses to. What could be do important that he doesn't want to tell me?

I watch him as I fold my last blouse and lay it neatly in the suitcase. He watches some strange documentary about animals in Africa on the television nestled in the corner of the hotel room.

I love watching him concentrate. Almost as much as I love watching him act. He has a dimple on his right cheek that presents itself as he concentrates.

There's a picture somewhere, of him on set in catching fire. He's in his tribute parade outfit, and his smile, I swear, could cure cancer. It's bright, and perfect, and could make anyone weak in the knees. Especially me.

He catches my gaze, and I look away and feel myself blush.

"What?" He asks.

"Nothing." I shake my head and chuckle lightly before wandering to the mirror to fix my short, boyish hair.  "Should I let this grow out? Or should I keep it this short?"

He rises to stand in front of me. "Maybe ... This long.." He presses a short, but meaningful kiss to the base of my neck. "Or here.." A kiss a little further up. "Here.." One right behind my ear. "Wherever it is you'll still look stunning.." I take a choppy, breath, seeing that he took it all.

"I- ... Okay." Is all I'm about to get out.

He chuckles and lets go, but keeps a hold of my hand. "Do you wanna go out to eat before the bus leaves?" He asks.

"We can, but I was hoping to just spend some time with you before we left." I say softly.

"And trust me, we will, I have something planned for you and it'll really sweep you off your feet."

"Just me and you?" I clarify in a soft, broken voice.

"Just me and you hun." He smiles and presses our foreheads together.

"Okay." I smile. "Then how about just some room service?"

"Yeah, that sounds good too." He smiles and goes in for a kiss. I back away without thinking.

"Jen.." He groans. "Why won't you-" I stop him by kissing his lips. "There we go, that's better."

"How long till we leave?" I ask changing the subject.

"Call someone, I'm not sure."

"Okay, then go order room service, I saw a paper on the table about how to use it-"

"Jen." He says seriously. "I know how to use room service.."

"Oh right.." I smile and walk to my room. I see my phone laying face down on the table.

I pick it up, and press the home button on the front. It doesn't work. I sigh, and plug it in angrily. Nothing happens still. "What the shit.." I mumble and turn on my heels. "Josh!!" I groan as I enter the room where he was. I look at him and he looks back at me as if he's seen a ghost. "What?" I ask. "Josh what?" I ask again quickly making my
way to him.

"That was Nick.." He says. "He saw the photos of us at the club dancing and kissing.." He explains.

"And..?" I ask softly.

"And he threatened me."

"What did he say?" I press.

"What does it matter Jen? All that matters is that if he catches us together he'll slit my throat." He says angrily.

"And your gonna let that stop you from being seen with me in public?" I ask him.

"Jen, he threatened me.." He says slowly. "Why don't you understand that?" I wrap my arms around his stomach and bury my face into his chest.

"Please don't fight with me.." I ask.

"I'm just telling you how it is.. okay? So listen, we can't be together." I drop my hands from him and back away.

"You don't love me.." I whisper.

"Jen, when did I say that?" He asks me softly, as if he was talking to a child.

"Well if you loved me you wouldn't care what the media or anybody else said about us." I say sitting down on the firm couch.

"Can we not do this Jen?" He asks me.

"Not do what?" I mutter.

"Not fight, hours before vacation."

"Well, you started it." I huff.

"No! Your ex-boyfriend did!" He says loudly, he takes a deep breath. "Okay, I didn't mean to make you angry."

"But you did.." I say.

"Let me finish, I didn't mean to make you angry and I'm sorry. But-"

"Do you love me?" I ask bluntly. When he looks at me with large, confused eyes I continue. "If you don't love me one hundred percent, please tell me now so I can leave." He stays dead silent. "Yeah.. That's what I though." I stand to walk away.

I'm stopped when he grabs my hand and pulls me back down. His lips cradle mine lovingly. My fingers comb through his light blonde hair and I squeeze my eyes shut.

He breaks away and looks at me. "I love you Jen, so much it hurts. Seeing you makes me entire existence okay, and not so scary. You are my best friend, and I want more than anything for you to be my girlfriend. But .. Have you ever had a gut feeling, that this may not be the right time?" He pauses, waiting for an answer but I don't talk. "I have that gut feeling every time the phone rings, or every time I see you, or get asked about you, or kiss you." He sighs softly. "I just don't wanna do this anymore.." He says defeated.

"Look, let's just put all of this on the back burner. Let's go on this vacation, have fun, and deal with all of this when we get home, okay?" I ask him putting my hand on his leg.

"Okay." I finally stand to order food on the phone. "Let's just have a good afternoon." I smile.

We spend the rest of the day together, cuddling, eating, kissing sometimes, and watching terrible movies together.