On the Ledge of Retrograde

Chapter 1 Start Your Engines

*Just a little disclaimer that you don't have to follow Shannon and Cammie to understand this, it's pretty AU. If you are one to appreciate a good Lesbian Love Story I'm sure you'll enjoy it too. This chapter also may contain sensitive content towards the very end so be warned.
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Cammie's POV
"I'm just going to do it," I tell myself while brushing out my dirty-blonde colored hair. I look straight into the vanity mirror in my room and say, "You've got this Camden." It comes out a little shakier than I first anticipated, but at least I got it out. I set my brush down and take a deep breath trying to calm my anxiety. I notice movement outside the window of my second-story room and turn to see what it is. A young boy on a bike passes by with a dog following loyally behind him. 'Must be nice not having to worry about anything. To not have to worry about telling your mom you're gay when you know your family's always been "conservative" to say the least' Watching the boy makes me mad. Life deals everyone a different set of cards and mine seem to be pretty crappy. Now I guess it's time for me to go all in just and just hope that I don't fold. I look back at my mirror one last time watching as my pupils dilate showing fear even in my eyes. I'm going to be in college at the end of this summer so I decided it's now or never. I pray to the lord that nothing goes badly, but if it does then I'll just be moving out. "Nothing's going to go wrong," I whisper to myself. 'I wouldn't be able to handle it if something went wrong, so that's why nothing is.' As I turn to leave my room I can feel my heart rate picking up, like a car revving its engine before the race begins. When I start my decent down the stairs it almost feels as if you could see my shirt moving. "Hey Mom," I timidly with my voice cracking at the end of mom.
"Yeah, Cammie," she chimes in that motherly voice of hers. This calms my nerves a little bit because why wouldn't a mother love her daughter?
"I have something to talk to you about."
"Sure sweetly, but before you do let's have lunch I just finished tossing some salad."
"Y...yeah....  sure that sounds great."
"Sit down at the table and I'll bring it to you." I take a seat and my mother brings over a salad that's probably delicious, but all I can do is stare at it blankly. My thoughts are currently keeping my mind occupied. "You sure you're okay Cam? You don't seem much like yourself. Maybe it's because you're hungry." She reasons," You've always had a great relationship with food, so eat, I promise it's good."
"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about mom. Relationships."
"CAMDEN! Did you get a boyfriend? FINALLY!" She exclaims loudly her voice radiating with joy.
"No Mom," I hear and exasperated sigh after that but I keep talking, "Actually if I were to ever have a romantic relationship with someone else it would be with a girl." I pause, watching my mother's face split into a smile. 'Whew that went better than expected. I don't know why I psyched myself out so much'
The next thing she says surprises me though, "Wow Cammie, you're always so funny I don't know what I would do without you around make me laugh; because lord knows your father's no good at it." I respond with a slight laugh not knowing if she's the one actually  joking with me. "Good thing too, because none of my kids would ever be allowed to be gay." Her whole body shivering at the word gay like its voodoo. It's almost funny how she says it like gay people have a choice in the matter, like when we're little and kids choose to eat a lollipop or a chocolate bar. Then, we get in trouble for eating the lollipop and are parents don't allow us to eat candy for a week.
As I start thinking the more and more I  get angry and say, "Why not." In a very harsh tone. My mother looks at me and I watch as her lip curls and nose raises in disgust.
"Being gay the most revulsion and unethical thing a person could be. I would never want to be around such a person! Too love someone of the same sex is absolutely revolting!"
"Well guess what mom!" I yell, "I'M GAY AND I GUESS YOU GUYS ARE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT." I end my sentence breathing heavily just barely holding the flood gates closed behind my eyes. Both of our faces are bright red and my mother seems to have steam streaming out of her ears.
"NO WE WON'T," she says in and equally brash and loud tone, "I'M LEAVING TO GO PICK-UP YOUR FATHER AND WE WILL FIX YOU LATER." My mother then picks up her keys and slams the door on the way out. As soon as the reality of what just happened caught up with me the tears start falling from my eyes. 'I will not be "fixed" not by her, not by anyone. If she doesn't want to love a daughter for who she is then I guess she doesn't get a daughter at all.' I storm up the stairs towards my room running on nothing but irrational fumes. Then, as I reach my room, I slam open the window and step out on to the very ledge of it. I stare at the ledge thinking of the boundary it represents. My car just crashed and now it's totally broken. Why even bother fixing it; no one can save me anyway.

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Thanks so much for reading, and just know your feedback is always supported! It just makes me want to write more so you can know what happens after that cliff hanger 😂.
Follow me on Twitter @MCraftingCo
to get regular story updates and I'll follow you back. I have a pretty good idea on what direction the story is going to go and I have high hopes for it. I think it's going to be great.

*P.S. Cammie's mom is not at all how she is in real life. I also want you to know that anyone who comes out and isn't immediately excepted still matters in this world. The recent events in Orlando were very sad but everyone matters and has a purpose. I dedicate this chapter to anyone who was lost. Rest In Piece.
-MW