Is This Real?

Chapter XIII

I woke up the next morning shivering. I wasn't cold. The sun wasn't up, it was pitch dark.

Soccer. That's the only that could help. I mean I couldn't feel anything. I was empty. I went into autopilot and drove my way back... home? Where was my home? No. I'm going back to my house. Home is where I belong. I don't belong in my house. An empty mansion. I went inside and got my soccer gear and headed towards the pitch.

I lined the soccer balls in a line and kicked them with as much force as I could muster.

I kept going and going in blind fury. My vision was going blurry from my tears and sweat, my legs protesting but not having the will to stop.

But, after a while, I dropped to my knees, my legs unable to hold me up any longer.

I sobbed into my hands. Why me? Did I deserve this? But then I rationalized. Better me than anyone else.

I blindly walked across the street into my now empty house. I collapsed in the couch in front of the TV and fell into darkness.

When I woke up again, the sun was setting and I looked at my phone and saw that it was 4:30.

I guess I'll go to practice... I thought and dragged myself to the bathroom and took a shower, looking at myself in the mirror.

I looked empty. Broken. It's like my life got sucked out of me. The hollow look in my eyes scared even me. At least I don't look like I've been balling my eyes out for the last seven hours.

I got my stuff and headed to school.

I parked my car and walked to the pitch. What are they going to think? I wasn't here all day.

I got into the locker room and Nat immediately took my arm and dragged me outside.

"What happened?" Nat said gently.

"Nothing much. I was feeling a little bit sick so I rested for a bit and here I am." I said, shrugging. I felt bad for lying to her. But, I did what I had to.

"Someday, you'll tell me the truth. The whole truth." Nat looks me straight in the eyes as she said that.

I nodded, my face not cooperating and I couldn't smile. So I resorted to just nodding.

I walked to the pitch and was bombarded with questions.

I kept my head down and gave out one word answers and rushed out of the locker room to kick the ball around.

Nat POV
What the hell just happened. Was the first thought that ran through my head.

She seemed a bit off. No. Extremely off. There was no sparkle in her striking eyes. They were empty. Dead. There was nothing there. I couldn't read her. Her walls have doubled in size. Something must have happened. And I wish I could figure it out. There was something about her. A fighter, a strength in her eyes that said bring it on. But all of that was notably absent today. It's like she didn't care about anything anymore. Like everything was not important.

Whenever I talk to her, she listens. She makes you feel important and feel like you're the only thing occupying her attention right now.

Today, she looked everywhere but at me and she shrugged at everything I said, gave one-word answers to her teammates. She didn't stay for our everyday chant before practice to get us pumped up.

She kept her head down and just rushed out if the room.

After she left, everyone just looked at me.