All These Scars... (A Criminal Minds fan-fiction)

Chapter One

Penelope's POV :
    Autumn was always my favorite season. Not too cold, brisk. I loved the colors at the time. The fluorescent yellows, oranges and reds. The tranquility of tree leaves scraping against the dark ground on a windy night, when the stars are the brightest and you could just shut the world out.
   I used to love laying out in the evening to watch the sun peacefully sink beneath the horizon.

   Until he ruined it.

   Kevin and I were trying to work things out, despite our differences, but she had to come into the picture. Kevin was a nerd like me. We had a special bond that I couldn't obtain with anyone else.
   He understood me and was sweet. And we both lived relatively close to each other and we worked together. Everything was perfect...

  The sky had turned a blue-violet color that I admired. The beauty of autumn.
     I was heading to my car just after finishing up a case, knowing the team would arrive from Houston, Texas shortly, I didn't want to wait on them. I was beat.
    I opened the door to my dark, blue car and hopped in. Kevin and I didn't walk together like we usually did; he said he had to do something before he left. As I took my glasses off to clean them, I saw two people approaching one car in the parking lot of the BAU, and, of course, I instinctively threw my glasses back on go see who it was.
   I was taken back by the fact that Kevin was walking one of his co-workers to his car. His car. Not hers. He must've brought her to work, I thought to myself. We didn't do car-pull that morning either. He said he would make me late. Lies.
   I didn't know her name but she was definitely beautiful. Dark, shiny hair. High cheek bones and nice clothes. Makeup applied perfectly. I was tempted to ask her how she got her eyeliner to look so sharp, but I didn't. I quietly sat in my car, watching them. Let's not forget she kind of  had a rocking butt, which didn't help.
   Kevin didn't even notice that my car was still there. Wow. He had forgotten all about me. But how? I gave him unconditional love, was that not enough? Anger coursed through me, followed by bitter sadness.

I've been replaced.

Maybe he's just being a gentlemen, I thought to myself. Maybe he was just being friendly.
    The spark of hope inside of me quickly smothered, diminished, when I saw him give her a kiss on the lips and open the car door for her. My glasses were blotched with fingerprints but it was easy to see the chemistry between them. A connection that we had. Had...
    "No..." I said to myself.
After he jumped into the drivers seat and started his car I put my key into the ignition and turned it. It took a few tries to get the engine to start but I finally got Shaggy to run.
    Shaggy, my trust-worthy, gas hogging, piece of junk car that broke down often and emptied my already starving wallet. I'm not sure why I named it Shaggy. Maybe after Scooby-Doo? The thing got terrible gas milage but I couldn't afford to sell it and get a better car since a lot of my money is spent on hippie-type stuff. Home remedies, medicinal herbs (not illegal drugs or anything) and your average beauty care products.
    I followed Kevin a few blocks down the road until I got tired of somewhat stalking him so I turned a corner and headed for my apartment complex. Kevin lived right down the street from my apartment, which, at the time, was convenient when we were together.
    I pulled into my reserved parking space, turned the crappy car off and unbuckled my seatbelt. I didn't get out for quite some time. It was late, but I was still in shock. My head was spinning. I put all my trust into him, expected him to love me unconditionally as I had loved him, but, no.
    She gets his attention. She gets his love. And he kept it from me. Lied to me this morning. Lied to me just an hour ago. But why? What did I ever do to him? Tears start to make my vision blurry so I blink them away. A few tears fall from my cheeks and land on my patterned dress.
    I exit my car, lock it and head to the door where I punch my five digit code in that makes a loud beeping sound, followed by a click.
  The code changes every week which makes me feel safer, at least.
I slowly walk up the stairs to the third floor where my apartment is, just ready for a shower.
    I unlock my door and collapse on my worn out couch, ignoring the cat that screams, "Meow!" over and over again as it runs down the short hallway to greet me.
   "Oh, Scarlet, please never cheat on me with someone, like, down the hall or something," I tell her as she jumps onto the couch and purrs like crazy.
    I was about to get up and feed her, get her to calm down, when one of my many cell phones rang. I look down at my new calico cat and sigh. Kevin got her for me a month and a half ago...
    I dig my cell phone out of my colorful purse and hold it up to my ear.
    "Hey, BabyGirl, you left the office a little earlier than usual. We just got off the plane and, let me tell you, I am jet-lagged. How are ya Momma?"
   His soothing voice made me want to tell him everything about Kevin but I didn't. He was tired and so was I. It could wait.
     "Hey, I'm fine. How is everyone? No one  got shot?" I ask, trying to sound as perky as possible.
   "BabyGirl..." He sings, lightly.
    "What?"
    "I can tell something's on your mind. Just spill it already and save me the trouble?" He chuckles and I laugh too.
   "Trust me, it can wait. But seriously," I change the subject once again, "everyone is okay?"
    "Yes, P, everyone is okay. Tomorrow, we all finally get a day off. Anything special planned for you and Kevin?" He asks which sends a dagger through my heart multiple times.
     "Hey, I'm kind of really tired, so.... I'm going to go to bed and...I'll talk to you soon," I sport a fake yawn and rub my eyes.
    He hesitates before answering.
    "Alright, momma, I think I'll hit the hay too. But, really, if you want to talk..." He trailed off. He always tried to get me to tell him things but after a while he seemed to learn I was hard to get.
     "I know.. Good night, Chocolate Thunder."

    "Good night, sweet cheeks."

    I tossed my phone back into my bag, fed Scarlet and took a quick shower, all the while ignoring the fact that my lover had cheated on me.
   It was hard to fall asleep at first, but after a while it became easier to accept it. 

    Sometimes, I dreamt about my parents and it made it hard to fall asleep, knowing they might appear in my dreams whenever they felt like it. But that night, I wanted them to enter my mind, make me forget about the events of that day.

     I wanted them to take me back to the time when they were still alive, and I was still whole...