All These Scars... (A Criminal Minds fan-fiction)

Chapter Six

   Will's POV:
  I woke up on a park bench by the bus station. My head hurt like crazy and my memories were extremely foggy but it wasn't hard to figure out what had happened.
    I remembered hitting Henry and locking him outside because he kept asking for something to eat and I got annoyed. I remembered JJ coming home really late at night and me being pissed about it. I hurt her. I hurt him. I hurt the only family I had.
   I sat up and groaned as my head throbbed and my body ached.
   How could I do that to my family? Why did I even start drinking?
   There never was a real reason as to why I drank. Once I started, I couldn't stop. The burn of whiskey always made me feel real and the haze of alcohol made me forget that my dreams weren't. Not anymore. Not now.
   "I'm such an idiot!" I held my head in my hands and took a few deep breaths as people passed by. They didn't even seem to notice me.
   I knew she wouldn't take me back after what I'd done but part of me wanted to try since she had forgiven me so many times before. It was worth a shot.
    What I did was wrong, and I knew that but I couldn't find any way to stop wanting the alcohol, the escape. I had everything. Had. I had beaten my wife and child and I didn't deserve them. But I wanted them so badly and I also wanted the alcohol.
  What, so you can beat them again? Is that why you want to crawl back to her, to take your anger out on your wife and child?
    No.
    No matter how torturous the withdrawals got I was going to try my best to make it up to her.
   No you won't....
    Yes I will....

   JJ's POV:
  By the time Penelope was done telling me about how Kevin cheated on her, Henry had come downstairs which made matters worse. Once Penelope saw him it was game over. She pulled him into a hug and didn't let go for a while so I made some coffee for myself while she cried her eyes out.
    Everything bad was happening, and at the worst time possible. Penelope's boyfriend cheated on her, Spence's mom was getting really bad and me and Henry were in an abusive situation. 
    "Who did he cheat on you with?" I asked and took a sip of my pitch black coffee.
   "I don't know her name but she works on the second floor."
   "Well, what's she look like?"
   "Brown hair, beautiful complexion, not too tall but not too short and she's hot. Yeah, you heard me, smokin'. How can I compete with that?" She threw her hands up in frustration and I grabbed one, squeezed it.
    "Penelope, you don't need to compete with her. It's his loss. If he can't see that you're all he needs then he's an idiot, trust me," I assured her but she didn't seem convinced.
    "Really? Because I don't feel like I'm enough. Did I not meet his expectations or something? I gave him unconditional love, second chances and all of me. What did I do wrong?"
   "You did nothing wrong, I promise. But, you're sure they're more than friends?"
   "Yes, JJ, they kissed each other, on the lips might I add, and then he drove her to his house."
   "Wow..." was all I could get out.
   "Mom?" I heard Henry's voice from the kitchen. He had been sitting at the kitchen counter since he came down, playing with his cereal instead of eating it.
   "Yeah, baby?"
    "Can I have some more medicine?"
    "Sure thing, do you still have a headache?"
     "Yeah," he said sadly. It hurt me so much to see him depressed like that. I couldn't believe that I let my husband hurt him, couldn't live with it. I was going to make it up to Henry. Somehow.
    I went to the medicine cabinet and grabbed a pill of Tylenol out of a white container.
   "Here you are," I told him and set the pill by his glass of water. "After you take that you need to take a nap, and when you wake up I'll fix you any meal you want. How's that sound?" I asked as I dumped out his uneaten cereal and put the bowl in the sink.
    "Good," he said and trudged up to his room.
    "You should really take some of those too," I heard Garcia say but I just dodged her comment.
    "So, besides the cheating, how have you been?"
   "I've been okay... I'm not even going to ask how you are because it's obvious you're not okay and I don't feel like getting lied to," she chuckled. "JJ, please take some medication. You have to have a splitting headache."
    "Penelope, I'm fine. I don't need any."
    "Jennifer Jareau, are you just trying to be tough? Swallow your pride for once, my dear."
    She was starting to irritate me a little.
    "I can't take any medication, P," I told her and hoped she wouldn't ask anymore questions. It was hopeless.
    "Why? Is everything okay?"
    "No, nothing is okay." I could feel my eyes well with tears and I tried to blink them away without letting them fall.
    "JJ, I'm here for you and so is the rest of the team. We are going to make sure Will gets punished for what he's done and stays away from you and Henry. Now, why does the doctor not want you to take any pain medication? He obviously doesn't see the state you're in. You seriously need to get a restraining order or something bec-"
    "Penelope." I couldn't let her go on.
    "Yeah?" She looked at me tentatively and waited for me to say something. She was going to find out sooner or later...
    "I'm pregnant."

     Spencer's POV:
   I woke up at six o'clock in the evening to see my mother had gotten out of bed to look out the window. The window was recessed and at the base was a built in couch that she sat on, watched happily out the transparent glass that was freshly dotted with rain droplets.
    "Mom," I said groggily, "what are you doing?"
   "Just thinking," she told me and smiled out the window.
    "About?"
    "Your father."
    "Why are you thinking about him?" I asked her.
    "I've come to accept that my condition isn't good and before I die-"
    "Don't say that," I said but knew it was only a matter of time. On top of being Schizophrenic, my mother was suffering with dementia and heart disease. The heart disease was killing her. Schizophrenia isn't deadly so I always thought she'd live to see my wedding day, whenever it would be, and see my children.
    I always wondered who I'd marry and have kids with. I planned on marrying Maeve but unfortunately not all endings are happy...I never even got to touch her, not once, and something burned inside of me. Revenge? Anger? I didn't know but it was there.
   I finally accepted that she was gone forever but the thought of her still made me want to lock myself in my apartment and shut the world out.
    "Spencer, face the facts, you know I'm going to be gone soon." she turned to me and looked at me with a sad expression as she weakly stumbled to her bed. "Listen, I want you to do me a favor after you leave here..."
   "What is it?" I asked and held her hand.
   "I want you to go to Manassas, Virginia."
   "Okay... That's 23 miles, a 36 minute drive. What for?"
    "That's where your father lives and I want you to see him, make amends with him before I go. Please Spencer."
    "No. Mom, I haven't seen that idiot since I was eight years old and I've done just fine without him so far. I don't need to make amends with him," I blurted back but she stood her ground.
    "Please, Spencer, for me. Do it for me."
    After twenty-four years my mother was asking me to meet up with my father. I couldn't. I wouldn't. He left us helpless, he didn't deserve a visit from me.
    "Mom, that bastard doesn't deserve a visit from me. He's been 36 minutes away and hasn't even had the decency to come visit me! Why should I visit him?"
    "I know he doesn't but...please. I need you two to make up. He's still your father no matter what and he'll be there when I'm gone. And, besides, I already called him and told him you were coming so you're going."
   "Mom!"
   "You. Are. Going."
    "Okay..." I lied.
    "And just in case you tell me you're going and then don't go, I've told him to call me if you don't show up."
   I couldn't believe my ears. My mother was forcing me to meet my enemy face to face and how could I not when she was asking me on her deathbed? I was going to go...for her. Even though I told myself I wasn't. I would make myself go.
     For her.
    
  Penelope's POV:
   "JJ, oh my God, this is great!" I told her but she shook her head as a tear rolled down her cheek so I toned it down a bit. "No, no, it's not good. This isn't good... Why isn't it good?"
    "Because Will is the father and what if he wants to be apart of the baby's life? Unless he gets put away or I file a restraining order this entire family isn't safe. This also isn't a good time to have a baby... I'll be raising it alone," she said and rubbed her eyes.
    "You won't be alone. I'll help you and the rest of the team will help you."
     "I know, I'm just not ready for another little one running around the house. Henry doesn't know yet and I'd like to keep it that way for a while." She raised an eyebrow at me
   "Okay, okay. I won't talk about it in front of him," I told her but she didn't seem convinced. "I. Promise."
   "What time is it?"
    "Three o'clock. Wow. I've been here for almost two hours."
   "You should probably get going. Maybe get some dinner with Kevin to talk everything over," I said
     "I honestly don't want to come face to face with him but that still might be a good idea. So, are you going to come into work tomorrow? Does Hotch know?"
   "I'm not sure yet but no he doesn't. Spencer knows, though." The thought of Spencer sent an uncomfortable pang of sadness to my heart. I missed him and I wished his mom would be okay.
     "Oh... Well, I am...going to go and probably do what you said I should do. Do you want me to go get you some food or anything?"
     "No, I'm going to fix something for Henry. I think it'll take my mind off of everything."
    "Well, if you need me to stay I can," she said as she grabbed her purse and stood up, waited for me to answer.
    "No, we'll be fine."
    "Alrighty then. If you do need my company, compassion or technical analysis skills, I'm only one call away," she smiled and I nodded.
     Watching her walk out the door made me feel extremely lonely. Was I going to die alone? I didn't have Will and I wasn't going to let him back into my life. Was I going to be alone...forever?

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A/N

hey guys, I hope you like this chapter and the book so far :) if you have any questions, opinions or concerns please leave them in the comments. don't forget to add ATS to your libraries or reading lists ❤️ -Jade