All These Scars... (A Criminal Minds fan-fiction)

Chapter Eleven

JJ's POV:
Spencer and I went into work together the next morning. I didn't want to leave Henry alone with his babysitter but I had no other choice so I told her that if she saw Will anywhere, outside the house, possibly inside, or walking on the sidewalk, to call me immediately.
The police department said they hadn't received any leads as to where he was. They put his picture out but no one came to them with any information.
The drive to the BAU was pretty silent. Spencer had insisted on sleeping on the couch the night before so I could sleep in my own bed knowing that someone was sort of guarding me and Henry.
It was nice to see Henry around Spencer. I loved watching Spence show Henry magic tricks and try to teach him. Even though he rarely spilled the key to his magic, he always made an exception for Henry.
When we walked into work, Hotch immediately told us to go to the conference room, but Spencer had to grab a cup of coffee first so I went with him.
"Do you think we have a case?" I asked him as he poured the pitch black drink into his cup.
"Most likely. Statistically speaking, Hotch calls us into the conference room 92% of the time because of a case briefing. The other 8% consists of personal meetings, evaluation, and because he has to share information about changes in the system, which rarely happens by the way." He gave me a small smile as he dumped spoonfuls of sugar into his coffee.
I looked over at the conference room and Hotch gave me an urgent look. Whenever he gives me that look it means that there's not much time for a briefing because we have to arrive at our destination at a set time or it doesn't look good on our part.
"We'd better get in there. Hotch is getting restless," I laughed.
As we made our way to the room, Spencer asked me if I was going to tell the team about my pregnancy. I'd never thought about telling them, to be honest.
"Um, I don't know. Penelope and you are the only ones who know. You think I should tell them? I'm only four weeks pregnant." I told him as we were about to walk through the door.
"Wait, did I just hear the word pregnant?" Alex asked as she gave me a suspicious look.
I glanced at Spencer and he gave me a look that said "you're on your own, here," so I thought that since we were on the subject I should probably just put it out in the open.
"Yes, you did. But, oh yeah, I'm pregnant, guys," I said bluntly and Blake jumped up and gave me a hug as she congratulated me.
"What, Henry wasn't enough?" Derek asked as he gave me a small hug.
After everyone congratulated me, even Spence and Garcia, Hotch insisted we start on the case.
"Sorry to ruin this whole celebration, my little crime fighters, but I have a case to present you with," started Penelope, "And, luckily, you guys are going to be stuck with me for this one because all of these brutal crimes have been committed locally."
She gave us all a disgusted look as she clicked through a bunch of gory pictures of corpses and mutilated body parts. The norm.
"So far, the Unsub has only targeted prostitutes and drug dealers," she trailed off as she clicked through a few photos of the victims. "Andrew Staltz, Mariah Wick and Leslie Downs were all found a few miles outside of D.C. So, like, technically it's not that local but local enough that you guys don't have to leave me."
"Where were they dumped?" Derek asked as he flipped through the case file.
"They were all found dumped in an alley close to a bar. All different alleys, all different bars."
"Well, it looks like the Unsub cut up the limbs of the victims, but why?" asked Blake.
"Probably torture. This could be one of those 'cleaning up the streets' cases. Psychopaths are always trying to get drug dealers and prostitutes out of certain areas," mentioned Rossi.
"They're covered in plastic wrap... Remorse?" I asked and Spencer nodded his head.
"He strikes every other day, and there hasn't been a body discovered yesterday or today so it's best we head down to Richmond PD as soon as possible," Hotch told us as he began to rise from his seat.
As we gathered our things and jumped into our work vehicles, I couldn't help but think of Will, who was still out there. Somewhere. I remembered the good times we had.
I remembered when he proposed to me after the bank robbery and the wedding at Rossi's. That was the day that Emily decided to leave. I missed her, so, so much and I just wanted her to be there with me so I could tell her about Will and Henry and what happened.
Spence was my best friend, but I sort of needed a girlfriend at the time and Penelope was almost too...sympathetic. It's hard to explain.
I was going to miss eating at the table as a whole family, having game or movie nights, tickle fights, playing soccer together with Henry and just being together. But, at the same time, I wasn't going to miss the way he treated me.
The sound of Spencer's voice snapped me out of my daze.
"We're here," he said and I jolted as he gently placed a hand on my shoulder. "Did you hear what Hotch told us?"
"Uh, yeah, yeah," I lied and he sighed.
"No you didn't. He wants us to go to the dump site while he and Rossi visit the victims' relatives. Derek and Blake are going to the abduction sites," and with that, he hopped out of the car and I followed.
"Thanks, Spence," I told him as we walked together to the dump sites where the body of Andrew Staltz, the latest victim, was placed.
"JJ, you really need to start focusing on the case. I know your mind is wandering because of the circumstances you've been forced into lately, but right now, we have a job to do."
I was taken back by his words. He was fine literally two minutes before and then snaps at me? He didn't say it too rude, but he said it so serious that I couldn't help but wonder.
"Spencer, where did this sudden mood swing come from?"
"What?"
"What do you mean, 'what'?"
"You just need to focus. that's all."
"Spencer, I'm completely focused-" but before I could finish the sentence he turned to me and looked me straight in the eyes.
"You're not completely focused. You need to start paying attention because if you can't handle this case-"
"Woah, woah, woah. Hold on. So you're telling me how to do my job now? If anything, I think you should be focusing less on what I'm doing and start paying attention to yourself," I responded and kept walking to the several people surrounding the body in the alley.
As I approached the head of the police department, an older man with a bald spot on the top of his head, I held out my hand and introduced myself and Spencer.
"Hello, I'm SSA Jennifer Jareau and this is Doctor Spencer Reid." I shook the man's hand and Reid followed suit.
"Hi, I'm head Chief Daniel Sayers. I believe I spoke with your unit chief, Aaron Hotchner, on the phone."
"Yes, you did. So, what can you tell us about the dump site?" I asked as I glanced behind him and saw the tarp covering the mangled body.
"Oh, of course," he said as he lead us to the body, "we couldn't find any of the killer's DNA anywhere, only the victim's. The tarp is clean and we haven't found any evidence dropped on the ground or anywhere in this alley. The guy definitely covered his tracks."
"He's organized," Spencer began, "and if he only dumps a body every other day, that means he most likely spends around a day with the victims and uses the rest of the time searching for another one. But what does he do in the time he has them?"
"We should be getting the medical examiner report within the hour for the rest of the victims. After we finish here, we're going to go talk to the pathologist who performed the autopsies," I raise my blue eyes to Spencer's dark brown ones.
He just nodded.
After examining the body, the alley and talking to the bar owner beside the alley we went to check out the autopsies.

"Hi, I'm Special Supervisory Agent Jennifer Jareau and this is Doctor Spencer Reid."
"Hello," the woman smiled at us but I could tell it was forced. She looked very tired and I was sure that looking at corpses all day didn't help her sleep at night. "Let's get to it, then," she began and told us about the cause of death and mutilation.
"Was the mutilation postmortem or antemortem?" I asked.
"Postmortem."
"And you said the cause of death was a blunt object to the back of the head?" asked Spencer and the woman nodded. "So how long have Mariah Wick and Leslie Downs been dead?"
"Wick was the first victim, and has been dead...I'd say since she was abducted. The same with Leslie Downs."
"So the Unsub kills them on the spot, transports them somewhere and mutilates their body after they are dead? Why would someone do that?" I give a half hearted laugh and glance at Spence who was reading through the report.
"It says here that there was no sexual intercourse?" he asked as he pointed at the clipboard.
"Nope. He just cut her body up, mutilated the genitalia and left this symbol etched into her back." She showed us the outline of a dove that was carved into her back.
"That's weird. A dove usually represents purity and a prostitute isn't considered pure. Was the same symbol on the other victims?" Spence asked.
"On Leslie and Mariah, yes, but Andrew Staltz's body hasn't arrived yet," she responded.
"Alright, we need to get this information to the BAU. Keep us posted on Andrew's autopsy. Thank you for meeting with us," I said through a small smile as I shook the woman's hand one last time and headed to the SUV.

Spencer's POV:
The ride to the BAU was so silent. I did have an IQ of 187 but I always forgot that silence had its own noise. It was like a buzz or a hum throughout the air. Maybe that's the sound of tension?
I was never sure if that was possible: to feel tension in the air. I remembered that my father used to say that the tension in the air was so thick, a knife couldn't even cut it.
Anyway, as we approached the workplace, I decided to try and break the ice.
"Your face looks better today. Can't even see the bruises."
"That's because I have layers of makeup caked on my face," she laughed and glanced at me.
Those blue eyes.
I couldn't help but feel bad about the way I treated her only an hour before. She didn't deserve to be criticized or critiqued by me. I should've minded my own business.
I would just apologize later. I felt bad, but she did need to focus. If I apologized at the time, she may have thought I was wrong about focusing. Maybe not...
When we went inside, everyone was sitting in the conference room.
"Hey Reid," Rossi began, "what did the autopsy tell us?"
I took a seat next to Blake and JJ took a seat next to me as I told Rossi about the mutilation, cause of death and the dove marking.
"A dove?" Derek pointed out.
"Yeah, a dove symbols purity but I can't see why he would carve a pure symbol into someone who isn't...pure. I mean, none of us are, but prostitutes and drug dealers definitely aren't considered pure," I told them.
"So, any theory?" asked Hotch.
"Sort of. I recently read a book called Pollution and Crisis in Greek Tragedy which actually talks about purity and how if one kills his enemies, he will be pure. Also, the book states that if a dove is present when one dies it will bring out their truth. I think that the Unsub is either trying to become pure, bring out the truth in someone who is impure or both.
"And I think by revealing an impure's truth, the Unsub may think he'll be set free also and that he's doing a good deed. There's no specific details in the book, such as, the dove has to be alive or real. And the book never states how the enemy should be killed to become pure," I finish and the team stares at me blankly.
"That's kind of a vague statement. It's not backed up by that much evidence," Hotch looked at me in question. "Reid, I'm afraid that until you come up with more evidence, that theory is irrelevant."
"To me, this just looks like another cleaning-up-the-streets mission," Rossi added.
"The abduction sites didn't tell us anything. No dropped evidence, no prints. A completely clean kidnapping," said Derek.
"Well," Hotch began, "the victim's relatives had nothing to say that would help. Unfortunately, until another body shows up we don't have any more evidence. Reid," he glanced at me, "I need you to set up a map and pinpoint the abduction and dump sites. Find out his comfort zone."
I nodded and rose from the table, walked to the drawing board and set up a map.
I listened as Hotch told JJ and Garcia to dig into the victims' pasts, Derek and Rossi to read over the ME reports again and for Blake to put up all of the collected evidence on the board I was working on.
"So," she asked, "what's going on in your head right now?"
"Well, the Unsub has abducted the victims within a three mile radius of every dump site which means he doesn't take them out of that zone, he wouldn't have to. I'm going to have Garcia triangulate their location through the victims' cell phones. They weren't on them when dumped and weren't found at the abduction site.
"The Unsub most likely has them but if they're turned off were back to square one," I trailed off as I circled places on the map and wrote down my findings.
Blake just laughed and I gave her a confused look as she hung portraits of the victims onto the board.
"What?" I asked.
"I meant, besides work, what are you thinking about."
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm fine, really."
"Spencer Reid, I've worked with you for some time now and I know when you're lying to me. Spill the beans."
I sighed and put down my pen and thumb tack I was about to push into the cork board holding the map.
"I've, uh, just been having a hard time with my mom. And I just recently visited my dad after not seeing him for 22 years, 4 months and 18 days. I-I haven't seen him since I was 8 years old and it didn't really turn out good. My mom wanted us to make up and...I don't know what I'm going to tell her."
"Hmm... That's a tough situation, now, isn't it?" she shook her head and crossed her arms as she took a seat. Blake gestured to the chair in front of her but I refused.
"Now'a not the time for a therapy session," I laughed.
"Sit." She raised an eyebrow at me so I slowly sat down.
"Alex, we really need to get-"
"Spencer, what we really need to do is focus on the case. Am I right? But since it's obvious you can't, we might as well try to ease your problem. I mean, I've never seen you give Hotch a theory without a boatload of evidence which means there's definitely more happening with you than you're leading on."
Oh, how I hated when she was right. My map was almost finished and she only had a few more pictures to hang up so I decided to go along with what Blake was doing. But, of course, I didn't want her to know everything.
"Blake, really, there's nothing else going on. I'm just tired and confused and that's all."
"Spencer," she warned me.
"Okay, Blake, what do you want me to tell you? Huh? That I haven't slept good in days because of my parents? That I'm worried about JJ and I'm angry at Will and for some reason at myself? Do you want me to tell you that sometimes I want to just quit the BAU because lately I've been feeling like I'm not helping anyone?"
My mind went all foggy in the middle of my ramble but I remembered what I said almost as soon as I finished.
"Yes, I do want you to tell me all of that because I'm your friend and I can help you." She placed a hand on my forearm and I couldn't help but wince. She laid her hand on my track marks.
I pulled my arm from under her touch and sighed.
"You can't help me."
"But I can try," she nodded and leaned back.
I rolled my sleeves down even further, just in case she or anyone else would get a glimpse of the marks scattered across my upper forearm. I needed help. Badly.
"For starters, what would you tell my mom. Would you lie to her and tell her that me and my father made up or tell her the truth?"
"Well, I think your mother deserves to hear the truth."
"Okay." I took a deep breath and continued. "What about JJ, I-I'm really worried that Will might hurt her. I know that Will beating her had to bring back memories of what Askari did. I just...I don't know how well she's holding up."
"You can't control that Spencer, and I'm afraid there's nothing that you can do to help her. But, you can show her that you're there for her. You can be her protector. That is what you can control."
I nodded and thought it through. She was right. Again.
"Well....um, should I quit the BAU? I know you don't want me to and-"
"Listen, that's all up to you. If you want to quit then quit. If that's what you want I can't stop you. But I want you to know that you help a lot of people. A lot. You e helped us solve unsolvable cases. You've consoled victims of loss... There's no doubt you're helpful."
She was right once again.
"Everyone thinks I know everything but in reality...I don't and for some reason that bothers me because I can help others but I can't help myself."
"Spencer, I know it's hard right now but it will get better."
Will it???
I give her a small smile and stand up.
"Maybe I'm just tired of losing everyone..." I told her and she squinted at me as I began to work on the map again.
"What do you mean?"
"Well," I said as I drew another circle, "my dad left me and my mom when I was 8 years old, I forced my mom into a crazy house, I lost Emily for some time, Maeve's been dead for more than two years, Gideon left us and then we found out he was dead years later without warning. I just keep losing people. And myself."
"Ooh... Well, Spencer, I can assure you that you aren't going to lose me," she said and gave me a small smile as she began to finish her work.
I hope not....

A few moments later, Hotch walked into the conference room and told us another body had been found.
Great.
"I want you and Blake to go to the newest victim's dump site and report back here when you're finished," he announced to us and went back to his lonely office.
Blake turned to me and raised her eyebrows. "Alright. Let's go catch this killer."

********
A/N
Hello my lovely readers :) I hope you enjoy this chapter. I enjoyed writing the Spencer and Alex moment. But, here's a disclaimer, none of the facts about Pollution and Crisis in Greek Tragedy are sound. I also want to shout out xocaitlynxo  for being awesome and supportive in my fanfic journey :) comment your thoughts, vote and add to your libraries! I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing it.
Also, I'm very upset about Criminal Minds firing Thomas Gibson (Hotch) and I hope he either comes back or has a peaceful exit in the show. Thanks for reading !!