Trust Me, Alpha.

Chapter 14 - Forgiving... Who?

Farrah POV (Before)

Remember this is happening the day before school starts, after leaving Belle's house, before seeing her mate in the park the same day.

"Bye..." I hesitantly put the phone back on the base, telling myself that this time it isn't going to be the same.

Just then the door opens, snapping me out of my daze. My mother, stood in the doorway, obviously trying to gauge my emotion as she took off her jacket and shoes.

We go into the living room and sit on the couch. I pull my knees up to my chest. "Aren't you angry still?" I ask, since the thought had been nagging me.

Mom breathes in slowly. "At some point you stop being angry, and you start to realize that it wasn't just one person's fault." She looks at me. "This is a good thing, Farrah."

I shake my head, "No! You can't just forgive him, I can't just forgive him!" I stand up and start pacing, "He wants to get to know me again, but he didn't care about getting to know me before, but nobody brought that up! Live with him, I don't know him!!! I never did, because the Da... the Dah-" Mom stands up and wipes away tears I didn't know were there, holding my face in her hands. "The Daddy I knew loved me, but then he left," I whispered.

My mother's face was trying to stay composed and steady, but I could see her lip waver. Her eyes were tired beyond her 40 years. "He did love you Farrah, that's why he left," I could see pain flash through her eyes, and I realized we never talked about Dad leaving. "It was 19 years ago,"

My mom and dad dated in college. My mother's mate had rejected her years ago, and my father had yet to meet his.They had been dating a couple of months, when two events collided in the most horrendous way. Mom and Dad weren't as careful as they should've been and my mom got pregnant.

When she told Dad he went to take a walk to think things through. He was walking near the pack's border when he saw a mesmerizing gray wolf.

The wolf went behind a tree and shifted, and suddenly Dad was faced with the biggest moral dilemma of his life. To stay with his mate, or with my mom.

He chose my mother and rejected his mate. They got married within the month. They might've loved each other, but Mom always knew that he stayed mainly because of me.

When I was born I was my mother's galaxy and my father's universe. I guess they tried to make things work for the sake of the 'nuclear family' vision. But they were never truly happy with each other.

One day that would've come sooner or later, my mom snapped. Dad had been laid off from work recently, and after coming home to a house in disarray... "We fought. I had started taking out all of my emotions on him more and more, and he was tired of it. I said that if he was tired of me he should just leave and he yelled that he couldn't." My mother sucked in a breath. "He said he couldn't leave you."

"Then why...?" I started, confused.

"I kicked him out after that. Screaming, yelling, and crying, throwing his stuff out on the lawn. Back then all I wanted was to be enough. Enough of a mom to you, enough of a wife for him, I thought that as long as I could be enough to have everything stay the way it was..." she shook her head. "When he said he couldn't leave you, after everything I tried to be I... I'm so sorry Farrah." Her voice finally cracked at that last sentence, and along with it her facade. I had never seen my mom cry in front of me and seeing her full out bawling was terrifying.

"After signing the divorce papers, he could've sued for custody, why didn't he." I ask, though it sounds more like a statement.

She shook her head, "Farrah, I know you don't want to believe it but his leaving was my fault. Please don't hold this against him."

When I remained silent, giving the carpet so venomous a stare it should've caught aflame, Mom stood up. "You're nearly 18 now, you're capable of making decisions for yourself, and neither of us is going to make you do anything." She walked away and up the stairs to her room.

Pain. Heartache. Sadness. These were the main emotions swirling throughout me right now. I didn't know how to place them, or keep them in check.

I breathe out a puff of air. I need to go for a walk.

**She sees her mate in the park right after this**

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Athena POV (After)

Onyx entered the room and sat down. There was a moment where no sound came from either of us, and then Onyx spoke up.

"I don't want some stupid mistake to come between us."

I nodded, and kept quiet.

"You're truly a handful to keep around."

I grabbed the box behind me. "I got you something"

Onyx eyed the small box and raised an eyebrow at it, but opened it nonetheless. "It's a... cactus?"

"Well when I got to the store I realized I had no idea which plant you gave someone when you were sorry about something you did but then I realized I didn't know anything about plants or if flowers were appropriate or if I should get a potted plant and I was just very overwhelmed and then I saw a tiny little cactus on a shelf and I felt like me and that cactus connected a little so I bought it and gave it to you and here we are."

Onyx's face remained emotionless but I saw her eyes start to sparkle. "You truly are an anomaly," she shook her head. Sighing she said, "You know what we have to talk about next."

"Jay," I say quietly, pulling my knees up to my chest.

"You're not scared of him." she stated definitively. I kept quiet at this. "You're scared of yourself."

My eyes snapped up to her, bewildered.

Onyx held my gaze strongly, and continued. "You blame yourself for Belle's death. You've convinced everyone else and maybe even yourself that you're scared of getting hurt by your mate but Athena..." She paused and looked out the window. "You're scared that you'll fail him. You're terrified that one day when he needs you, you won't be there."

I didn't notice the tears streaming down my face until I could taste the salt on my lips. "Stop..." I whispered.

Onyx looked back at me with a mix of sympathy and determination. "It's time to forgive yourself."

I hiccuped, and bit my lip to stop from full out bawling. "Please..." I whimpered.

She shook her head. "Three years, Athena. If you don't start now, when are you going to?"

I took a shaky breath. "I- I..."  

Author's Note: Hey! Summer's here (for the northern hemisphere), and after this chapter writing will get more fun (kinda) and easy (kinda). I'll definitely at least update once a month, maybe more but I'm not promising anything.

Know that I'm aware factors of this story are unrealistic but they're also werewolves so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Hope you all have had a great day, and if it wasn't so great I hope things will get better :)

Peace to the peeps,

Gabi <3