Call me Different *ON HOLD*

Chapter Fifteen

I felt bad, not inviting my new friends, but this was something we did as a pack. 

It was a tradition for the kids my age to go camping each year, and considering we were all together anyway, we got permission to hike along one of the trails to camp out in the woods for a couple of days. 

So while I felt bad for excluding the others, I was equally as excited. If not more excited.

Besides, they didn't even care really. Izzy screwed up her nose when I told her our plans, then grinned an evil grin at the thought of having less people to have to share showers with. 

I was waiting by the lake with Maria, Ashleen and Caitlin, a few of the girls my age from my pack, for the others. We were talking and laughing, excited about our little adventure. 

My dad used to be really apprehensive about letting me go camping, and at first refused to let me go. That was until my mother put her foot down and told him to let me live a little, that she was human and she managed to survive things way worse than camping. 

I was grateful, but I remember how it stung when she insinuated I was human like her.

Not that I was anti-human. I loved my mother, and I was so proud to be the daughter of such a strong Luna, but I knew how hard it was for her to be human, and I really didn't want that burden for the rest of my life. I didn't want to be the one who didn't fit in, who wasn't strong enough to lead a pack.

As the oldest and only child of the alpha, I was meant to take over one day. How was I meant to be the sole leader if I couldn't even talk to people through the mindlink, let alone fight for my pack. I could always give up my position, but I knew how much that would upset my family. 

These were the burdens I was extremely excited to get away from, even if it was just for a few days. 

The kids in my pack didn't really know I hadn't turned, but they knew I wasn't fully like them. I didn't like to talk about it much, as it made people think I was weak. 

Finally, taking their sweet time, the others arrived. There was about 10 of us in total, as we didn't take the younger kids - this was our time to not worry about looking after the little ones. 

We all gathered around, and looked at Jay. He'd always been a leader, and everyone just naturally looked up to him. It wasn't a decision anyone made - it was just something that happened. 

"Alright - Maria, Ashleen, Ell - you guys got the food?" He asked, winking at me. 

I rolled my eyes, and we all nodded. 

"Caitlin, Jess, Toby - tents?" 

"Yup!"

"Peter, Greg - cooking supplies and water?" 

"Sure." 

"Hunter, you and I have maps, communication and everything else. Everyone got their sleeping bags and clothes?" 

"We're not babies," Hunter chuckled. 

Jay shot him a look. "I'll remind you of that when you're complaining in a few days from pneumonia from forgetting your sleeping bag." 

Hunter shrugged. "I have hot blood." 

We all scoffed, and conversation broke out among the group.

Jay took a step closer to me. "You sure you're okay?" 

I rolled my eyes. "For the hundredth time, yes. I finally get to go on one of these!" 

He eyed me suspiciously. "Okay, okay. I'll stop asking. But I'm watching you." 

"Creep," I laughed, shoving him slightly. 

"Alright people, lets get moving. We need to hike the first few miles, then after we pass the river those of you who want to can shift and run the rest." Jay addressed the group, who hushed immediately for him. 

Everyone cheered, grabbed their backpacks and started walking. 

Hunter and Greg were at the front of the group, and called Jay up. Sad for a moment that he was gone, I shook off the clingy feelings that were beginning to annoy me, and fell into step with Maria and Caitlin.

".... probably the best looking guy, except for the ones in our pack of course," Maria giggled, wiggling her eyebrows at me in acknowledgement. 

"Oh god, who's she got her eyes on now?" I laughed.

Caitlin grinned. "You know Tyler? Him." 

My stomach flipped, and the sadness I'd felt when Jay had walked away came back again. "Oh. Really?" 

They looked at me funny. "Well yeah, have you seen the guy?" 

"Of course, I just..." I trailed. "Sorry, ignore me. Brain's still a bit foggy." 

They looked concerned, but moved on. 

"I mean it's not like I'd ever go there or anything. There's no point in going any further than flirting if you now a guy isn't your mate," Maria said matter-of-factly.

"Really?" Caitlin scoffed. "What if you never find your mate?" 

"Celibacy," I grinned. 

Maria rolled her eyes. "My cousin had sex with a guy when she was 23, convinced she'd never find her mate. A month later she met him in the supermarket. She regrets the other guy so much." 

Do I get a mate, if I can't change? Unless there's a wolf guy out there for me, I wondered if I would ever have one. 

-- 

After we crossed the river, which was a hilarious 30 minutes of the girls trying to keep their bags dry, and the guys shoving each other into the rapids, most of the group decided to shift. I don't blame them, walking must be such a hinderance when you know you can run at a hundred miles an hour. 

There were only four of us who opted to walk - me (of course), Jay (always loyal), Toby and Ashleen (the latter wasn't a fan of shifting, and the former had an innocent crush on her). Ashleen and Toby wanted to stop for a bit, and urged us to keep walking. They would always be safe as they both had access to the mind link, and help was only moments away. Besides, there was nothing in these woods - they were protected neutral territory. 

Jay and I walked in content silence, enjoying the beautiful mountainous scenery around us. I was slower than him, and had a lot less energy, but he never complained. I sometimes felt bad about holding him back, but I'd made sure he knew he could leave me. He always insisted on being right by my side. 

And I wasn't complaining about that. 

The path was getting steeper and rockier, and my shoes had useless grip on them. I kept skidding and slipping slightly, so we were going even slower. 

"Woah there," Jay exhaled, steadying me and I slipped yet again. 

I was breathing slightly heavy, and closed my eyes, relieved he'd caught me. "Thanks." 

He didn't say anything. He didn't actually move. His hands stayed on my waist. I turned my head to him, feeling very confused with how much I didn't want him to move but how much I did. 

His face was frozen, confusion clear on all his features. "Jay?" I asked. He didn't respond. I twisted around, pulling my body out of his touch, which brought him out of his daze.

"Are you okay? What is it?" I asked, worried.

He looked at me, swallowing. "Huh?" 

"You completely zoned out." 

He shook his head, the colour returning to his cheeks. "Sorry. Weird. Must be low blood sugar. Got any bars?" 

I stared at him for a moment longer, studying him. Unable to figure it out, but happy that he seemed okay, I nodded and pulled a muesli bar out of my bag. 

Strange things were happening to me, and it seemed like they were now affecting the people around me.