Utopia

Prologue

The sun was shining bright on the fresh green colors on the hills behind my home. I let myself fall backwards, laying my long black tresses behind my head, fanning them out. I have my eyes squinted because of the bright sun, but I can still see the most beautiful sky blue sky, dotted with white fluffy clouds. A strong hand falls on top of mine, making me turn my head towards the source. I look sideways, to my left, where I look into a pair of icy blue eyes.

'You are so beautiful.' He murmurs, the corners of his mouth turn up. The grin I fell so hard for made me melt once upon a time. Now I look at him with a steely gaze, my lips do not turn up like they used to. I turn back to the sky and pull my hand free from his grip. I feel my eyes start to burn, a small tear wants to trickle down the corner of my eye, but I firmly close my eyes, not wanting it to escape. I can feel his eyes trail down my body and shiver slightly. Not long after, I sit back up, and look towards my home, which rests proudly on the hill. The building looks majestic, made out of grey bricks and two white pillars holding up the balcony at the back of the building, which is what we can see from our spot. The large windows shimmer in the sunlight. I look around the hills, which make the landscape even better. Without any notice, a pair of hands, slip around my waist and I am pulled into his arms, against his chest. His cheek rests against my neck, his chin on my shoulder. I look at him from the corner of my eye and keep quiet. His suntanned skin looks bright with his light blond hair. Even if he has these amazing looks, I cannot bare it to look at him the same way as I did before.

'Ethan, do you love me still?' I ask with a pungent taste in my mouth, it sounds awful with my soft voice.

'I love you more than you could ever know.' He responds, while he kisses my temple, my cheek and finally my neck. I shiver in disgust. Once upon a time, his kisses made me shiver and get goosebumps in delight, but right now, it feels like I am sitting with rats. His soft pink lips slide down to the corner of my lips. It makes me close my eyes and relive the sight once more.

It was at the ball of the Duchess of Somerset, that is where it happened. I saw Ethan slip out of the ballroom unnoticed and after a little while, when he did not return, I made the decision to follow him and see if he was alright. I slipped into the garden, until I reached the labyrinth of roses. I knew the way there, because I am quite good friends with the Miss Amelia, the daughter of the Duchess. I knew my way around and went to the center, where my breath hitched. That is where I saw it. Him. Her. Together. I knew I should look away, pretend I never saw that, after all, a man can have a mistress. But I kept on looking. That was the moment it happened. He pressed his lips against hers and pulled her against his body. The scantily clad dress was pushed aside by him and I almost gaged. My eyes filled with tears and I pressed my fist into my mouth, to stop the scream from coming out. I let out a soft sob and retreated back into the shadows. He was the man with whom I would share my life, my father gave him permission. He gave me permission to marry him.

I blink away the tears and the images, looking at the beautiful tulip that grows right in front of me. Then I stand up quickly, pushing his hands from my body. I cannot marry a man who does not want one woman only. I cannot marry a man who can be romantic and tell me he loves me one moment, but then leave and give his love to another. I cannot do that. I do not want that. That would mean I am lying to myself. Just as he is lying to me. I am sick of his lies, Sick of his pretending. He loves someone else, someone that is not me. Claire Cambridge.

'Why do you pull back?' He questions me and I do not respond. In a little he will see my tears, the pain I feel inside. That is the last thing he deserves, my tears.

'If you love me that much...' I stay quiet for a little and look from the sky into his eyes, looking over my shoulder. 'Why are you lying?' He pulls his eyebrows up and looks at me questioning, but in his eyes there is another emotion, guilt.