Paragon

Chapter 10

I pack my bags in silence, utterly sad to be leaving Spain. To be leaving the solitude. We weren't able to escape our messy lives for long but at least we got a moment of peace.

He's grabbing our belongings in the bathroom, a few feet away from me. I stare at him, simply moving. I feel closer to him, than I ever have before. At least we have that- I know we're leaving this island changed people.

The shock of the hidden secrets we've kept unraveled over the course of this vacation and they're still with us. The past day has been a quiet one, spent lounging together, staring out at the vast, beautiful world around us.

He catches me staring and smiles softly, entering the bedroom, his hands full. "You alright?"

I take a deep breath and nod. "I'm good."

...

"Let me get that," Stellan utters, reaching for my luggage. I shake my head, smiling softly as we walk down the stony path but he takes it anyway. I'm nervous- nervous to bring up Vegas but I know I have to talk to him before we get to the plane.

I decide it's best to just blurt it out. "I don't think we should get married tomorrow... in Vegas."

His eyes flicker to mine and I'm surprised when he nods. "I agree."

"You do?"

"Not like this. I don't want to feel like this when we do it."

I exhale with relief, taking his hand. "I still want to... I just, I think we should let what's happened here sink in for a bit."

"We're on the same page," he answers, looking down at the ground. "And I'm sorry for it- I'm sorry this changed every-"

"Stellan, there's not a damn thing I'd change about this trip. Through everything, I only know more about you and for that, I'm grateful."

He smiles softly but doesn't reply, he doesn't have to. I know there are many things he'd like to change right now. I can't imagine what he must be thinking.

Hearing he's going to be a father... Finding out about the video. We'll be lucky if Vance doesn't have an extra copy lying around the house. I hope that all evidence of it is gone... wiped from this world. Just as I hope to wipe it from my brain with each passing day that goes by.

It's strange how one moment you could think the storm has passed- not knowing there is another one that will block the sun once more from view. We need to get that sun back- and we need to find a way to do it at home- in our everyday lives.

I'm determined- and nothing will stop me from getting it. Not Vance Waters, not my mother, not my job- not even Stellan or myself. That's the one thing I know for sure.

...

We arrive back in New York at noon. The sun is up- the spring offering some warm weather, finally. It makes me think of the island with fondness as I set down my luggage on the bed.

Cassandra, the maid that comes by every couple days, has just left and I'm glad for it. This is my last day alone with Stellan, where it's just going to be us. Eric will be back tomorrow and I'll be back at work, a fact that used to thrill me. Now, I could care less.

I stare out the window, pressing my lips together at the vast garden in my backyard. My job was everything to me. I yearned for the flash of pictures- of photo shoots. Long runways. It's always been my passion, ever since I can remember. It never occurred to me that something- that someone would come into my life to change that... that something could become more important than my career.