Paragon

Chapter 35

My gaze is fixed on the lace pattern of the black dress that stops at my knees. The car jolts around as we drive forward on the dirt path of the cemetery, towards the other vehicles, parked on either sides of the grass.

Eric pulls over behind a black SUV, parking. The car is quiet, dead quiet.

"You ready?" Stellan asks suddenly, low. I look over at him for the first time since we got in here and nod, swallowing.

He smiles softly, grabbing my hand. "My brave girl."

I'm comforted by his faith in me but I feel anything but brave. Mechanically, I get out and walk to his side to help him out. He's moving around like he wasn't almost fatally killed a week ago and I know it's taking a toll on him. The skin around his eyes are dark and swollen, his face still lacking the glow he had before.

My heels sink into the grass as we make our way over to the congregation of people, leaving Eric by the vehicle.

Eyes are on us immediately as we walk into the crowds. So many people... I know many of them. However, they're looking at me, at my husband, in suspicion. What happened has been top news, played every hour on the hour- everyone knows what happened. Why Viktor did what he did.

I keep my face hard and emotionless until I see his parents. They're already seated but upon seeing me, Dawn, a little, white-haired woman, gasps, standing. "Iris!"

I smile softly. "Dawn."

Letting go of Stellan's hand in order to return her warm hug, I try to hold myself together, sighing. She squeezes tighter.

"Thank you for coming, honey."

"I couldn't stay away," I whisper, emotionally. I pull back slowly, already reaching to my side. Stellan, as promised, is there. "This is Stellan."

He reaches out to grasp her hand warmly. "I'm very sorry for your loss, ma'am."

Leo stands up next to her, stiffer and takes his hand as well. "Thank you for coming, young man. I'm grateful to see you up and about."

Leo kisses my cheek softly. I've only met the man a few times and never really cared for him, but his gratitude is plain as day on his face. I'm just happy to see they believe I loved him. The watchful eyes around me don't.

"Please, sit up here... with us. You were so close to him," Dawn murmurs, wiping her eyes. I shake my head, smiling apologetically.

"I don't think I'd be comfortable with that. I'm sorry..."

She squeezes my hand tighter and nods. "I know it's last minute but I didn't know if you would say something about him. No one was as close to him as you."

What? "What about Olivia? She was close with him? Or Tim?"

"Olivia said she'd be too emotional to get up in front of everyone."

"I don't think I can either. After what's happened... I don't think it would be proper."

"It's for him. It doesn't have to be proper."

I close my eyes as Stellan settles his hand on my back. "It's hard for her to even be here right now. Many people here don't realize what really happened... she'd be subjecting herself to ridicule."

Dawn nods then, sniffling. "I understand. Well... you'll be at the wake though?"

I nod. "Yes."

She smiles sadly as the preacher walks up to the coffin. I go white, seeing it for the first time. I was so nervous to see his parents, I didn't even see it.