Paragon

Chapter 16

I wake in darkness, feeling a panic set in immediately. Hands clenched tightly to the cover, I look to my side, finding the place beside me empty, moved but empty now. Resting my hand over the soft material, I realize it's been vacant for a while.

My frightened eyes flicker to the window- to the dawn. The house is quiet and I fear he's gone. Standing up in a rush as if I'd been awake this entire time, I pull open the door and sprint for the stairs.

Please, let him be here. Oh, please. I take the last steps as one and hurry to the kitchen, turning the corner like a madwoman. Hearing my entrance, Stellan turns enough to look at me, his elbows set against the countertop and a steaming cup of coffee in his hands.

Breathing heavy, I close my eyes and shake my head. "I'm sorry... I thought you had gone."

"I've been up for a while," he answers calmly, turning. He's showered and dressed in a suit minus the jacket. I nod and run my hands through my hair self-consciously. "Leave it." At his soft reproach, my hands still in my tangled, messy mane then drop. "You look perfect this way."

"Really?"

He nods, pressing his lips together as he sets down the mug on the counter. I take in his silence, waiting for his next words with dread.

"We need to discuss some things... some things that I've realized in the past day."

"I know."

"No, you don't know." He looks up from the countertop and shakes his head angrily. "No, you don't know what I've been thinking. You don't have all the answers, Iris. Neither do I. We have no idea what the hell we're doing and it shows."

I stare at him, scared. So scared.

"I've realized that you're dominating this relationship. You're not doing it maliciously- I don't think you even know you're doing it but it's clear as day... and I've let you do it- take on the pressure for all of this and I'm sorry. I had no idea how much this has been hurting you."

"I'm not that hurt, Stellan-"

"Stop doing that!" he snaps, glaring at me pointedly. "Be fucking real with me, Iris. Because for two people who claim to hide nothing from the other, we're pretty damn secretive. Both of us... I don't want that. Do you?"

"No... I don't." I bite my lip and nod, walking forward to the other side of the counter, knowing he's right but not used to this kind of communication with him. He's angry- he's scared but he's also fed up. "Okay... I... I'm scared and-and I am hurt."

"And after everything that's happened, that's completely understandable. We've been dealt with a rough card... But this is my war. It's not yours."

"It is mine, Stellan! I'm your partner- what you go through, I go through."

"You are my partner- you are also going to be mother of my child. This stress that's plaguing you is terrifying, Iris. I don't want anything to-"

"Nothing is going to happen!"

"It could! It could and I know that would really hurt us- both- because believe me or not, I want this child. I really do... Just wondering and imagining..." He shakes his head and smiles slightly. "I'm filled with- with wonder and joy and I can't wait... but I don't want to be like this when this baby comes. I don't want us to be driven apart by this."

"I'll fight for us too. I shouldn't have doubted... I will fight, Stellan."

"So will I, Iris... but we do need to change some things."

I become nervous. "Okay..."

"I think you should consider leaving work until the baby comes."

"What?"

"I know your career is everything to you but you need time off. Running this company and the trial and just- everything... it's too much with this pregnancy going on."

Taking a seat, I gape, running a hand through my hair. "I-I won't lie... I've thought about it but... I have no one I can trust enough to run it. And even though you're my new VP, I'd never want to leave you to that with no experience."

"Then go in once or twice a week, oversee and I will handle the rest until you're feeling better."

"You don't know how time consuming it is. You don't know what you're offering."

"You will help me if I have difficulties. We're partners, as you said. It is in your best interest to think of what's best for our child and I don't mind asking for help. I will ask if I have questions... I'd never take your company on lightly. As you've told me, multiple times, it will be mine too."

I stare at him, shocked. "Are you serious right now? Really?"

"I'm completely serious and I've thought this through. I think this is our best option right now. I really do."

"It's-it's a lot to take in..." It's not something i'm used to... giving someone else power. However, I do know we need to find a routine we can handle. I'm just unsure if anyone can handle my job but me- even temporarily.

"Yes, it is."

"I could- I guess I could lower my days to two days a week... until the baby comes. I-" I nod, sighing with finality. "Okay. Okay... but won't this make your life even harder? The trial... the video..."

"Well, the trial is going to happen but I have faith that something will surface that will give us our chance to get Vance and- Constantine."

Swallowing, I look at him squarely. "And the video?"

Setting his hand onto the flat surface, he shakes his head, shrugging. "There is nothing I can do about that. We have no way to find Charles and we don't even know if he plans to release it. I'm going to have to hope for the best."

"And if not? If it does get out?"

"Then we will get through it... together."

I nod, reaching out my hand. "Yes, we will."

He takes it tightly, nodding with me. I smile emotionally and stand up, skirting the corner of the marble counter between us. He meets me halfway and takes me in his arms, sighing with relief. My eyes close against his stiff shirt as I find myself able to breathe for the first time since Marcus called my phone.

"I trust in this...  and in you, Stellan."

The moment of silence is brief but gaping. "In anything?"

I nod, pulling back. "I do."

He swallows, smiling. "Then... will you do something for me?"

"Anything, Stellan. Anything."

"Let's get married... now. Today. Let's get on a plane, go to Vegas, buy you a white dress and just get married."

Let's get married... MARRIED! The words ring over and over in my head.

My smile widens until I'm cheeky and starry-eyed. "... Let me fix my hair."

He grasps my hand, smiling wide now and pulls me towards the door. "From the plane."