Last

Chapter 15.

Soft footsteps wandering across the kitchen in my apartment were enough to wake me up. I rubbed my eyes softly and sat up, thrashing the blanket off of my body. I ran my fingers through my slightly messed up hair and sighed. I walked to the bathroom, washed my face and then found myself leaning against the kitchen counter. Vanessa was picking a plate up and when she saw me, her lips curved up in a smile and  then her expression had turned to concern.
I frowned a bit, 'What?' I asked her.
'Nothing, uh, did I wake you up?' She asked.

Yes, you did.

'No, you didn't. I've had enough of sleeping.' I assured her.
She bit her red lip and, really, damn.
'You must be tired, though.' She said.
I sighed and stepped towards her, stepping back from the counter and facing her, inches only between us.
'I am, sort of. But I'm alright now.' I said.
'Do you want to talk about what happened? Maybe we could sort things out?' Vanessa asked, hopefully.

I would've loved to, but I was supposed to stay away from you as much as I can actually help.

'What are you making there?' I asked, changing the subject and getting a sad look on her face.
'Um, I made you a cupcake. Chocolate, just how you like it.' She tried forcing a smile.
'That's what I call sweet talk, love.' I smirked and my heart warmed as she giggled. She turned around and picked the plate, which on top of it, rested a delicious looking chocolate cupcake with,  stupid sprinkles on top the - also - chocolate frosting. I laughed.
'Does it look that bad?' She asked, frowning.
'No, no. I was just admiring the stup- stunning sprinkles.' I half lied. I hadn't looked bad, it looked delicious but I had disliked the rainbow creatures. She narrowed her eyes at me, then without a warning shoved half of it inside my mouth.

'What the hell, Ness!' I managed to say through the mouthful. She laughed endearingly.
'You shouldn't speak with a mouthful, Cam.' She warned.
I swallowed quickly, grabbed the rest of the cupcake and got back at her.

Sweet revenge, I say.

She giggled and tasted her Sunday morning achievement, topped with goody goody sprinkles.
'That was for you, Cameron.' She whined.
'It happened to be that I'm a man of sharing.' I told her. She smiled, the corner of her eyes wrinkling, her face so heavenly looking and -

My lips formed a smirk.

'Why are you staring at me?' She asked.
'Because you've got chocolate frosting on your nose, Vanessa.' I said, holding back a laugh.
'Oh, damnit.' She said, her cheeks blushing. She reached her hand to rub it off but mine was quick enough to stop her. I leaned in, taking her face in one hand and bringing the other to pull her close to me. Just as I did that, I felt her body tense up. My fingers reached for her nose tip and rubbed gently against the skin. It twitched and I laughed.
'It giggles!' Vanessa said, swating my chest. Lost in both of our laughter, I cupped her face with both hands, not even hesitating for a second about what I was to do next. My lips crashed on hers, kissing every inch of them. They tasted so sweet and they felt soft, melting under my tongue. I bit her lower lip gently and greased it. I stopped for a second, catching my breath and realizing that she wasn't kissing back. I pulled away, just before she got hold of my sweater and pulled me to her, kissing me. I held her legs up, sitting her on the counter and buried my head inside her neck. I kissed the bumps I caused and then pecked her jaw. My heart began pounding hard, every part of me was screaming, wanting. Craving.

Stay away.

The voice in my head nagged. I hadn't realized that I stopped kissing her until she touched my face. 'Are you okay?' She asked. My eyes lowered down and I couldn't tell what I was feeling anymore.
'Cameron, If you need time, I get it. You can have all the time you need.' She said.

But I hadn't had much time. I hadn't had the time that she needed.

Then it hit me. I had no idea whatsoever what had just happened but I realized what I had been doing was - wrong.

I had been so lost and caught up around the idea of not having time enough to be with her when I should've been using the time I had to be with her. I realized I might not recover. I might not be here two months from now on, then what would I have done?

Absolutely, nothing.

I had thought that I'd been hurting her by being with her instead of thinking how hurt she would be when I leave her. When I wasn't under her touch or when she wasn't under mine. If I kept pulling away, I would never have her and she would never have me.

I looked back to stare at her blazing green eyes.
'Cameron? Do you want me to leave?' She asked.
I felt her breath against my skin, her hand above mine, my hands around her waist and I suddenly couldn't bear her to leave. She was my only hope to make it. She was my heartbeat.

When I hadn't answered she pushed me off gently. I snapped out of my thoughts as I lost contact of her touch and immediately pinned her wrists down the counter. She looked up at me again.

Let her go.

Her eyes burned into mine.

She's better off without you.

Her skin burned under my touch.

You're leaving eventually.

Her lips reddened after our kiss even more.

Two words. Screw it.

'I want you.' I said.
Her eyes widened as she was taken aback.
'What?'
'Would you be mine again, Ness?'
She paused.
My heart pounded hard, I was afraid it would break out from its rib cage. I was ready to give it in, to give us a try and I only wanted her to want me this time.
'Are you going to leave me again?'

Possibly, yes.

'Never.' I promised.

I promised. The thought was ridiculous but, hell,  I was determined to keep it.

She smiled, a real, genuine, beautiful smile.

With that, my lips met hers once more. Our bodies were crushed together and I decided this was it. This was what I had been waiting to fight for even if it meant that it would be the last time I fight in my whole damn life. I would fight for those kisses, for those touches, for that girl and for me. And even I wasn't strong enough to win that fight, I would be glad to have this with her even it was the last thing I would have. After all, she had been the first one to make me feel alive, and I intended to keep her the first and the Last.