5 Seconds of Summer Imagines

#11 "You're beautiful inside and out." With Michael Clifford- Emma

I stand in mine and Michael's shared bedroom. The door locked behind me, my phone thrown across the room and me standing in front of the full length mirror in the corner of our bedroom. No one was home with me and I couldn't keep these invasive thoughts out of my head. After Michael and I became public, the hurtful messages started. They weren't always around, which was good. But when they were each message gets worse and worse, picking at my weights, my height, my looks, my personality. Saying things like that I don't deserve Michael, that he should be with someone else, someone like them. Normally, I can just push it all aside because I know that none of it is true. But lately, Michael hasn't been home as much, yes I know he has had to record and write a new album. But in the times he is home, he makes me feel more alone than when he is not here. Today, these messages, remarks and comments are hitting me hard. I can't help but stare at myself in the mirror. How could he love someone like me, someone who is not stick thin, someone who has scars, someone who is a little crazy sometimes. I get lost in my thoughts, the negativity drawing me further and further in.

*knock knock knock*

"Babe, are you in there?" Michael called, the wariness showing through his voice. I only hear his voice, I can't bring myself to answer him. The door handle twist and turns but doesn't unlock. Michael sighs on the other side of the door. I just focus back on my image in the mirror, the negative thoughts echoing louder and louder. No back ground noise and penetrate the negative head space I am no engulfed in. My eyes drift of my image the comments repeating themselves over and over in my head. This causes tears to begin to fall down my cheeks.

I am finally brought out of my trance when I feel something around my waist. I look down and see that it is Michael's tattooed arms.

"Babe, what's wrong?" he asks, the edges of his voice becoming rough. I don't answer him. I can't. I can't tell him what they've been saying about me. "Emma, please tell me what's wrong?" he pleads, his grip becoming tighter, his head resting on my shoulders looking at me in the mirror. Silence falls. But it is shortly later interrupted by the chime of my phone, my head snaps towards the sound. Michael's follows mines. He then unwraps himself from me and quickly walks over to my phone. He picks it up and scrolls though it. A shocked expression comes across his face. His green eyes look up and meet mine; his are as glassy as mine.

"Is this what has gotten you so upset?" he asks as he motions to the phone. I just nod slowly, not know what to actually say to him. I hate that it was because of me that he was upset. "Oh babe. Please, please, please don't read their comments. please don't believe them none of them are true."

"Yes they are. They're all right. I don't deserve you." Tears slip down my cheeks as I tell him those words. I turn back to face the mirror, my legs start to shake, forcing me to fall to the ground. Michael drops my phone on the bed and runs to my side. Sobs rattle though my body, his arms holding me close to him, comforting me; in a way that I never thought possible.

"Babe, please don't think that. If anything, I don't deserve you. You're beautiful inside and out."