I Love You, I Guess || Tristan Evans

t w e n t y - o n e

You: okay so here's the deal 

You: i know you're probably asleep right now since it's late but i didn't think i could wait until morning to say this and if you're not immediately reading it it actually makes it easier for me so here goes 

You: when we last talked you told me that i should just tell the guy i like that i like him, yeah? well, easier said than done. but here i am. i am here to tell you. Tristan Evans, i like you. like, i don't just like you. i like you more than a friend. i like the little feelings of excitement i get whenever my phone beeps with a new message. i always hope it's from you. i like talking to you. i like sharing all those random bits of information about myself and about my life with you. i love how a friendship blossomed the moment we started talking. granted, it was weird, but it somehow worked. doesn't that mean something? doesn't that mean that we should at least try? 

You: the reason i didn't talk to you all of a sudden was because i thought that you didn't want to try. you ignored me for a while and that made me think that maybe you'd never wanted to try. or that i was just a bit of fun for you and it actually never meant anything to you. i didn't mean it to mean anything either, but apparently i didn't get to make that decision for myself. i somehow fell for you instead. however, i started thinking that i had been delusional to ever think that you liked me back. i don't know. maybe i was wrong to think that you liked me back. maybe i was kidding myself. but that doesn't matter right now. this is how i feel, and like you told me to do, i am telling you. 

You: remember when i once said that appearances lie? well, they do lie. i thought i was head-over-heels in love with Max, but then i realized that i really wasn't. it was all a hormonal thing. we didn't have anything to talk about or anything to do together. whenever we did one of us always ended up being bored. apart from the time we actually spent together in and outside of school i didn't even talk to him. i never texted him out of the blue just to see how his day went or to tell him a silly joke i'd heard. but i did that with you. i like talking to you. i lose track of time whenever i'm texting you because i have fun when i'm talking to you. and isn't that what's most important between two people? isn't that what forms a bond? 

You: at this point i don't even know what i'm saying, but i do know that i mean it. i don't know how you feel or if you're back together with Veronica or not, but i just really had to tell you all this.