Pink Is The Color Of Infatuation

Chapter 11

Xael wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. This was the fourth time she had thrown up her lunch. The weeks had flown by and before she knew it she had been married for a little over two months...and no one knew about it expect her mother and Alexander's family.

She was still the talk of the talk, her name on any and everyone's lips. People knew that she stayed with him in his home. People knew that it was not her family estate she returned to at night but his bed.

With all the shame and embarrassment that came with Alexander's cruel show of public humiliation she hadn't realized that her monthly had ceased to come. And by the time she did notice she had begun to throw up her food. She couldn't hold anything down except fluids and even that was not often.

She knew what it meant. She was pregnant...it was what she had initially thrived for. It was what she had needed to make sure Alexander could never leave her. But now...now she wished it wasn't so.

She placed a hand over her stomach, rubbing it gently.

It wasn't that she did not want the baby but merely that she did not want to be stuck under Alexander's thumb. She hated him. His cruelty had recently reached a new level. Not only did he still announce her as his mistress when asked but now he felt obliged to prove it. He would kiss her, run his hands down her body, whisper obscene things in her ears and when they danced...he always felt the need to hold her inappropriately close.

His actions only brought about more and more hate from her and though she had yet to actually utter the words to him she was sure it was obvious enough.

Alexander was not home, he had gone to visit his grandparent's, a reoccurring habit he seemed to find comfort in doing almost weekly. He had tried to take her with him but she had adamantly refused. He had surprised her by not dragging her along regardless but she had also been thankful for his going away.

She had yet to tell him that she was with child. She didn't want him to know. She wanted to keep it a secret as long as she could.

She moved toward the door and headed down the stairs. The footman greeted her as she moved toward him. This was her only chance and she would take it.

"Missus, is there something you need?" The man asked.

"Yes, I'd like you to take me to the Beckwith estate." She said quickly. He nodded and escorted her out, helping her into the carriage.

She sat and sighed with relief when the carriage began to move. Her heart was pounding in her ears. She felt fear lurk around her consciousness. She needed to return before Alexander did. The last thing she wanted was for him to know that she had left to go and see her mother.

The deal they had made had been for her to stay away from her mum but she needed someone to listen to her. Someone to hold her who actually cared.

She ran a hand down her hair, realizing that she had left home without actually doing anything to it. She sighed, it didn't truly matter. She was eager to see her mother regardless of her appearance.

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"You're an ass...," Lafayette muttered as she held her twin sister's baby in her arms, "Isn't that right, Andrei? Your older cousin is an ass...a big stupid ass."

Alexander made a sour face at his younger cousin before rolling his eyes. "I'll take that because maybe I do deserve it."

Lafayette's mouth fell open and she stared at Alexander as if he were a different person.

"Did you really just admit to being an ass?" Leo said suddenly, catching them both off guard.

Alexander scowled, "How long have you been standing there?"

Leo shrugged as he flopped down onto the sofa beside him, "Long enough to realize that you are very much in love with your wife or should I say your mistress?"

Alexander tsked, "I'm not sure if I'm in love with her...obsessed seems more the appropriate words."

Lafayette repositioned the baby in her arms, "It was bound to happen you know? You can't go to sleep beside someone and wake up beside them every day without feeling something."

"All I can say is, it took you long enough." Leo mumbled as he scratched absentmindedly at his stubble.

Alexander grimaced. He needed an escape from his attraction to Xael. That was why he was constantly visiting his family. To try to outrun the infatuation that was quickly building into so much more. He wasn't supposed to be falling in love with the woman. He was supposed to be making her life miserable and yet he found that harder and harder to do every day. And at night...at night he worshipped her. It was a reaction to her that he could not hide.

She consumed his every waking thought and even had the audacity to appear in his dreams! The woman gave him no rest and he should be angry with her but instead he was angry with himself!

It was utterly impossible to be in love with her. She hated him. Loving her would only be a waste of his time but still it was an emotion that grew with every second of every minute of every hour.

Even now, when all he wanted was a little peace of mind from her, he thought about her.

He stood, rising to his feet swiftly.

He needed some relief and he wasn't getting any of it here.

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"Xael?" Her mother said as she walked into the parlor, tears brimming in her eyes.

"Oh, mum...I've missed you!" Xael cried as she flew into her mother's embrace, hugging her tight.

Her mother squeezed her close before pulling back to cup her face and look her over. "That brute of a man hasn't hurt you has he?"

Xael chuckled softly, "Not physically."

"Oh, darling...this was an awful plan. I should have never suggested it or thought of it for that matter. I'm an awful mother."

"No you're not...you didn't know it would end up this way. And you were only thinking of a way to fix everything."

Her mother's eyes watered, "But you shouldn't have been a pawn in this scheme. I should have found another way."

Xael held her mother's hand as they both took a seat on the nearest sofa. "It's alright. He's not so bad...he could be worse...so much worse."

"No it's not alright! You think I don't know what he's done to you? It's the talk of the town. Autumn season is coming and yet all anyone talks about is the fact that he brings his mistress to every event that he goes to! How dare he!" Her mother fumed.

All colored drained from Xael's face as she realized that her mother didn't know that to the world...she was his mistress.

"Mum...," she whispered as her mother continued to rant, "Mum! I'm...his...mistress."

"What?"

"It's me that he's parading around on his arm when he attends parties...I'm his mistress."

"You're his wife!"

Xael shook her head, "No one else knows."

Her mother's face turned pale, "Oh, God...He really is a brute. How could he...humiliate you that way? I've heard rumors that his mistress...was always thoroughly ravished...Dear, Lord...don't tell me he...out in the open?"

Xael blushed furiously but stayed silent. He always made sure she was extremely flustered and red face and covered in love bites. She couldn't bring herself to deny her mother's words.

Her mother's face seemed to turn even paler. "What have I done? I put you in this situation. I'm truly a terrible excuse for a mother! If you father were alive...he'd be so disappointed in me."

"This isn't your fault."

"Yes it is! The debt wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth your future happiness!"

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