Pink Is The Color Of Infatuation

Chapter 13

He had no idea how to fix the damage he had done. He had taken things much too far and now that he finally knew what he was feeling he was more than angry with himself.

He was in love with her. And she hated him.

He replayed the scene in his head over and over again. He was her husband, he had every right to spank her if he saw fit and yet it was a right that he felt no one on this earth should have, including himself. He was utterly disgusted with himself. How could he have done something so demeaning? Something so childish?

He wanted to give her pleasure but instead he seemed to be constantly riddling her life with pain. He felt an ache deep within in his chest that even the finest of his whiskey wouldn't chase away.

She was still sound asleep and he was still pacing his parlor, tightly gripping a glass nearly empty of whiskey and rum. He found no satisfaction in the alcohol. He downed the last of the glass's contents before angrily tossing the glass onto the hardwood floor.

He buried his face into his hands, groaning into them. What was he to do?

He had come home to find her gone. He had searched for her only to realize that she was nowhere to be found. Fear had coursed through his veins and he had slowly begun to panic, trying to think of where she could have possibly gone. Her childhood home was the first place that popped into his mind and he had hurriedly gone in search of her only to hear her utter, "Annulment."

The word itself had pissed off so quickly he hadn't had time to honestly think. Her mother was the only means for her to leave him, the only freedom she had from him and that very truth left him feeling more and more fearful? Confused? The thought of her leaving him did something to him. The fact that he couldn't keep her always hurt more than it should. He should hate her still. Yet he silently worshipped the ground she walked on.

He loved everything about her. From her soft skin, to her red, he was truly infatuated with everything that was her. But it had taken him too long to realize, too long to admit that she had stolen his heart on first glance. He had never seen anyone so utterly adorable to him. Her big brown eyes like a beacon in the mist to him.

The woman had virtually trapped him into marriage all for money and yet he didn't give a damn. His silly plot of revenge had merely been his pride refusing to let him succumb to his attraction to her.

He was a fool. A big, mulatto fool. He bit his bottom lip, his feelings rising painfully in his chest.

How did he fix this? How did he seek forgiveness for all that he had done wrong? The list seemed longer every day...

How did he make her see that he loved her? He was sure that if he told her now she would laugh in his face. The thought of hearing her repeat that she hated him made him grimace. He did not want to hear that again.

He was usually clever, clear headed...but ever since she had stepped into his life all of who he was had slowly changed. He couldn't even think!

He huffed, stopping his pacing. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He couldn't do this on his own. Especially not now, after hurting her to this point.

He made a beeline for the door, one destination in mind.

-----------------------

"What do I do?" Alexander said breathlessly as he walked into the lounge.

His grandfather sat beside his grandmother, a look of amusement on both their faces at his arrival.

"About what?" His grandfather asked.

He stalked into the room, pacing as he spilled what had happened from beginning to proverbial end.

His grandparent's stared at him in shock. They had had no idea. They never truly listened to gossip, always too focused on each other for the nonsense the ton usually talked about.

His grandmother spoke first, "You've really landed your ass into a ditch, haven't you?"

He flinched at her words because they were true.

"Mahala...," his grandfather mumbled, "Go easy on the boy. This whole family seems to have rotten luck with coming to terms with love."

"Oh, Adam, don't give me that bull." She tsked at him.

Adam laughed, kissing her cheek lightly before instructing Alexander to sit down. Alexander hesitated but sat.

"I warned you, loving a woman that hates you is not an easy feet." Mahala grumbled at her grandson.

"I didn't plan on falling in love with her!" He cried with frustration.

"No one ever plans on falling in love with whom they do...the heart is a mysterious thing. She's your wife, did you think you wouldn't develop any love for her? She was attractive enough for you to sleep with, what made you think your attraction to her wasn't genuine?"

Alexander blushed underneath his grandmother's scrutiny. He cleared his throat somewhat awkwardly but kept her words in mind. She was right. Xael had been the first woman he had ever thought of as genuinely beautiful. He had wanted to cherish her instantly and so he had shown no hesitation in bedding her in his home instead of the nearest tavern like every other woman he had been with.

He leaned back in his seat, groaning. He felt so lost. This was more than he bargained for. 

"You love her?" Adam asked.

"Yes." Alexander mumbled.

Adam shook his head, "Do you really love her? This isn't just your guilt playing tricks on you?"

"No, of course not."

Adam smiled, "You love her to point of confusion?"

Alexander sat up straight, looking his grandfather in his eyes. The same green eyes that he had inherited. "God, yes."

"Then why, dear boy, are you here?" His grandfather smiled at him softly, "I understand firsthand what it feels like to be head over heels in love with a woman who is convinced that she hates you. Forgiveness can be hard to come by but love...love is always easy to find."

Mahala tsked, "I was not convinced of anything, I did hate you. You were an animal back then."

"Do you hate me now, darling?" Adam asked.

Mahala tried to frown but failed, leaning into him, "Of course not, you idiot. I love you more than I should."

"Alex?" His grandfather asked.

"Yes?"

"What are you still doing here? Go and get your woman."

Alexander smiled softly before hopping to his feet and running toward the door.

As they watched him go, Mahal sighed.

Adam turned to look at her and raised a brow, "What's the matter?"

"Oh, nothing. They're all just like you. Every single one of them." She mumbled.

He grinned, "I suppose that's a good thing."

Now it was her turn to raise a brow, "And why do you think that?"

"Because they'll all end up happy."

Mahala looked up at him, "Oh, Adam..."

He kissed her forehead, wrapping his arms around her, "I love you to distraction, woman. Let's hope the rest of our crazy love struck family ends up with happy endings as well."

*Comment, like and share! I'm really shelling them out tonight, huh? I've had hella writer's block but I bounced back, yay! So how is it so far? I've been writing chapters back to back to back, lol. I hope it's all flowing well!*