Pink Is The Color Of Infatuation

Chapter 19

"I can't stay with him! I just can't! We're awful for each other!" Xael cried as she sat beside her mother on the sofa, the tea and cakes left untouched.

"And the things he's done to you! His lies and...," Xael buried her face in her hands. What had her life become? This is not what she wanted. She had wanted love, romance...not pain and suffering.

Her mother tried to soothe her, rubbing her back lovingly. "Tell me clearly what happened."

"He's angry with me and this time...I was cruel. I'm sure he hates me now. I did something terrible."

Her mother listened intently.

"I told him I was with child."

"Really? Did he not react the way you wanted?"

Xael shook her head. He had reacted the complete opposite. She had expected to him to be angry, to seethe with rage at the fact that she had found another way to keep him bound to her. But instead he had reacted with genuine surprise that had slowly turned into affectionate excitement. She hadn't been expecting it and a part of her deep down inside that had come to care for him more than she ever wanted to admit had exploded inside her.

She had been afraid of that feeling. Of what she had assumed to be her first burst of real love towards the man.

"I told him it was not his." Xael sobbed.

"You did what?" Her mother exclaimed. "Why? Why would you do something like that?"

Xael stood up, nibbling at her lower lip. "I-I wasn't thinking straight! I was scared! He told me he loved me and I knew he was playing with my desires, I just wanted to get back at him, I was afraid of losing my resolve to the warmth of arms!"

"Xael."

"No, you don't understand! I-I'm weak against him...I turn into mush at his touch and he knows that! I feel things with him that I shouldn't...not after what he's done to me. But I did feel, I do feel. I was going to tell him that I had lied, that the baby was his and that I had just wanted to hurt him but he left. He stormed out and I waited and waited and he didn't return. What was I to do? What can I do? He hates me now, more than before and I'm at a lost!"

"You must talk with him. If you feel anything for him than you will tell him the truth. Such a thing could break a man."

Xael shook her head, "I can't! He'll surely not believe me!"

Her mother tsked, "Nonsense. You are not that kind of woman."

"I flirted with men in front of him. I danced with a man in his face." Xael mumbled, "He does not think I am so innocent."

"What? No...you didn't!"

"I don't know what I've become. Vengeful and angry...and all because I don't want to feel what he makes me feel. I don't want to be hurt beyond the pain that already grips me!"

"What do I make you feel, Xael?" Alexander's deep voice penetrated the aftermath of her own words and she turned to find him standing in the doorway.

-------------------------------------------------------

Alexander had returned home with a purpose only to find her gone. It hadn't taken him long to find her. He knew her well enough to know where she would inevitably go. He had stormed inside and quickly followed the female voices. But he hadn't made a move to interrupt them. Instead he had stood by the door, listening to Xael make her confessions and sighing in relief at her truths. The child was his and she did not hate him...

But now he stood, staring into her wide brown eyes. Her mouth gaped open and he stepped forward, grabbing her by the wrist and leaving her mother to stare after them.

He had had enough of the games they had both been playing on each other. They needed to talk, to straighten things out. To forgive each other.

He drug her through the halls until he came across the nearest empty room. He pulled the door open pushed her inside, closing the door after him.

"Answer my question." He mumbled to her.

She stared at him before quickly looking away, contemplating what she should say.

"Xael, this has to come to an end. Be truthful with me. Tell me how you feel, damn it!" He snapped at her.

She looked up at him once more, her face twisting up, "Don't demand things from me! I'm not a gullible little woman with no resolve!"

"Why did you lie about the baby?" He asked, countering her words.

She sucked in a breath, "Why did you taunt me with your fake statements of love?"

"I was not faking, my love for you is real." He returned.

"You're lying! Prove it! When did you fall in love with me, Alexander?"

He took a step toward her and she took a step back on reflex. He noticed but did not retreat. He kept moving toward her until she had backed herself into a corner. "I fell in love with you the moment I saw you staring at me across the ballroom. I was convinced that I had never seen anyone as adorable as you... as fragile as you. I have never allowed women into my home, my bed but you, I wanted to claim in my own domain. It was carnal but I don't regret it."

She kept her eyes on his chest, refusing to meet his eyes. Her heart was pounding in her ears. She couldn't let him sway her. "No, stop it."

"Stop what? Stop what I feel? Impossible. It's too late for that now." He mumbled.

"You don't love me."

"Yes, I do and I'll continue to love you."

She shook her head, "I want a divorce!"

He tsked, moving closer to her, "I'll move heaven and earth for you if that's what you wish but a divorce will never happen."

"I hate you!" She cried.

"No, you don't." He leaned toward her, his lips brushing the space between her neck and shoulder. "Why did you lie about the baby?"

She gulped nervously, "I didn't want to give in to it! I wanted you to feel what you had made me feel but I was melting...you were winning and I was afraid that it was all just a ploy to mess with my wishes. I just didn't want to give in to it..."

"Give in to what?" He asked, though he already knew the answer.

She leaned her head against his chest, sucking in a breath. "Love."

He wrapped his arms around her at her admission, holding her close. "I'm sorry...I swear the baby is yours! I lied!"

He cupped the back of her neck in one of his hands, kissing at her wet cheeks. "Shhh...I know. Don't cry. If I hadn't been so clouded by my jealous rage I would have known that you were lying as soon as you said it but I'm a bloody idiot. I've treated you terribly and your retaliation was called for. This whole thing has been a mess."

She nodded against him, sniffling softly.

"We'll start over. No more of this vengeful nonsense." He mumbled as he moved to kiss her.

He stopped mere inches from her lips, a small smile tugging at the corners, "Now that you're mine, I'm never letting you go. Prepare yourself."

Before she could comment he was kissing her and she welcomed it.