Matching Leather Jackets

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Weeks and days have passed since I cried at Blake's house. As odd as it sounds, I feel like I have extracted a bullet from my heart. A bullet that kept me angry and vexatious. A bullet that held all the hate and hurt and remorse I've felt over the last few years.

But even now, after it's gone, I know it's little fragments that are left behind will still sting and scratch from time to time, but it's not nearly as bad as it was before.

I'm changing... for the better, I think. As wimpy and laughable it sounds, I'm serious. I don't like the change a lot, but I can manage. It's time to set an example for Ray, accept Kurk as my brother, forgive Blake, and most difficulty, start fresh with my father when he comes home.

A mumble comes from Asher and I try to pretend I heard him. "Yeah, I know..."

His face darkens. "You didn't hear me, did you?"

"No. Tell me again," I laugh hesitantly. He's being awfully impatient today. What's wrong with him?

"As I was saying before," he says quietly, "My father found a job in Hershey, Pennsylvania..."

I produce a smile on my face. "That's amazing! When does he start?"

He looks at our hands. "This coming Monday."

I stare at him in confusion. "But it's already Thurs-"

"Pen, we're leaving tomorrow."

"We?"

"Yeah, what did you expect? I can't stay here with by myself, my parents refuse to let me. We leave in the morning." When he finishes his sentence, he doesn't look at all sad. He just licks his lips and looks at the grass that we sit on.

He's leaving.

"Oh," I whisper. That's all I can manage. I mean, to be completely honest, I don't feel nearly as bad as I did when Blake left for Carmichael. It makes me feel upset, but not devastated. We hardly even spent time together like most couples do. And now I realize:

I don't love him.

Truly, I don't love him romantically at all.

He's friend material. That's all.

"You don't sound so upset," he sighs, like he already knew how I'd react. I watch as he runs a hand through his hair. "We should have never dated in the first place."

Now that? That stings a little. I feel a heavy frown play on my lips. "Don't say that."

"Why not?" He replies fiercely. "We aren't as close as I had planned we would be. We don't talk, you don't kiss me. You stick by his side. I think we just weren't meant for each other."

"So are you saying you regret it?"

"Yes? Well, technically no. I think it could have been better, but no, I don't regret it. I feel like we're friends. Not even great friends, just friends."

We stare at each other for a long time. I agree with him entirely.

I won't lie, it hurts. Everyone leaves my side at one point, so I should have expected it.

I run a hand through my hair. "Did we just break up? I've never really dated anyone before, so..."

I see a trace of a smile form on his lips. Asher pulls me into his side. "Yeah, I think we just did. And although you say you've never dated before, I don't believe you." I hear the smirk in his voice.

As I grin, I tell him, "I'm going to miss you. Can we keep in touch?"

"Do I really have to answer that?"