Make Me Fall

20. Goodbye Hogwarts

I've always loved the day after Christmas. It's so quiet, everyone exhausted from Christmas day. The kids are playing quietly in the living room with Josie and I'm lying in my bed, writing, completely undisturbed, admiring the ring on my finger. In a week I'll be back at school with my friends and my fiance. Man, that's weird to say. Fiance. Fiance. It makes me feel grown up and very childish at the same time.

There's a knock on my door and I look up from my writing.

"Yes?"

Mum and Dad walk in.

"Autumn," Mum says, "we've been talking."

This can't be good. I sit up and watch them carefully.

"We've decided that it will be best for you to stay home," Mum says, "you will have a tutor, the best, and finish your schooling here."

"Why?" I exclaim.

"Now that we know the information on your parents is, um, circulating," Mum says, glancing at Dad, "we think it would be safer for everyone to take you out of the limelight."

"But I love school!" I protest, "what about my friends?"

"You can see them during holidays," Dad says.

"What about all my stuff?!"

"We've arranged to collect it this afternoon," Dad says, "after lunch."

"But I have exams coming up!" I cry, "I want to go back to school!"

"Well, let's try it for the rest of the year, and see how we go," Mum says, glancing at Dad, "come along, lunch is ready."

I follow them downstairs, deeply in shock. The kids have eaten already and are being taken upstairs for a nap.

"What will everyone think?" I say, "the Malfoys-"

"We have told everyone that you are going to begin your grooming to become the perfect wife," Mum interrupts, "now, please, stop arguing."

I can't eat anything at lunch. I feel like I'm going to vomit. After wards I side-along-apparate with Mum and Dad to the Hogwarts gates. Professor McGonagall meets us at the gate, looking the same as ever. The castle is quiet, since most students are still away on vacation. Professor Dumbledore meets us in the Entrance Hall.

"It's unfortunate that you have to leave us," he tells me, "but I'm sure you will do well, wherever you are. Mr and Mrs Turner, perhaps you would join me in my office for some tea while Autumn gathers her belongings?"

He walks away with my parents and McGonagall and I trail up to Gryffindor tower. The common room is mostly empty. Seamus is sitting in one corner, reading and a few older students are sitting by the fire. I walk up to my dormitory and sit down on my bed to cry. But no tears come. I want to cry, but no matter how hard I try, my eyes stay dry. After a few minutes I give up and start to pack my things. As I'm finishing I find the blue scarf that Hermione always loved. I find some parchment, ink and a quill and write her a note.

Hermione,

I've been pulled out of school because - well, it's a long story... There's so much I want to tell you, since I'm almost certain I won't see you again, but most of all, thank you. I want you to have this scarf, I know you like it and it looks so good on you. Please tell Fred and George I will miss them very much and that they are the closest thing to big brothers I'll ever have.

Love Autumn.

I leave the scarf and note on her pillow and carry my things down to Dumbledore's office. McGonagall is waiting outside to let me in. We step onto the spiral staircase together.

"I'm sorry that you have to do this," McGonagall says, "especially as you were making such advancements with your study."

I nod, unable to speak. Inside Dumbledore's office my parents are waiting.

"Perhaps I could have a word to Miss Turner, alone," Dumbledore says.

"I'll ascort you to the Entrance Hall," McGonagall says as Dad picks up my suitcase.

Once they're gone, Dumbledore motions to the seat in front of his desk and I sit down.

"I suppose you have a lot of questions about your birth parents," he says, "Professor Snape told me he let slip who they are."

"I always thought when I was older I'd track them down," I admit, "but... They're dead."

Dumbledore regards me carefully over his glasses.

"Why wasn't I taken to live with Harry's uncle and aunt?" I ask. Dumbledore sighs.

"That was a difficult decision," he says, "to separate twins is, I believe, unnatural and cruel. However Harry needed the protection that came with your family while you did not. We decided that it would be better for you to go to a home where you would be loved and cherished."

"So you gave me to a pair of Death Eaters?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. Dumbledore chuckles.

"It does seem strange," he admits, "but my thoughts were that if and when Lord Voldemort returned, he would look for any hold over Harry that he could find. If he ever found out about you, he would use you as bait, bait that, knowing Harry, would draw him in like ants to honey. Therefore, we decided you should be hidden away, and where else, but among the ranks of his supporters? We knew that your parents would never reveal your identity to Voldemort, lest he turn his wrath on them."

"But why did they take me in the first place?" I ask, "if they knew..."

"When your parents first died you lived with a friend of your birth parents for a few months, close to a year," Dumbledore says, "by that time most of the Death Eaters were convinced Voldemort was never coming back and were trying to avoid being looped in as a Death Eater. Your parents had begun searching for a child at that time, and when we told them that on taking you they would be spared any investigation, they accepted you willingly."

I stare at the desk, trying to process all of this.

"Professor, I was raised as a Death Eater," I tell him, "but if I'm Harry's sister, than shouldn't I be fighting with him, not against him?"

Dumbledore smiles and stands up.

"You should fight with your heart," he tells me, "do what you think is right."

What I think is right?! What do I think is right?! Do I think purebloods are superior to half-bloods and muggleborns? No, I'm not pureblood. Do I believe that the Dark Lord should be ruler of the world? I... I shouldn't write these things down, they could prove dangerous. In short - my world is crazy!