Live, Love, Lost, And Death

lost

My chest feels heavy I can't breathe,
Every breath I try to take is filled with water,
It is so dark I can't see,

I start struggling to reach the surface yet I don't know
Which way is up and which way is down,
I am scared, I am panicking,
I'm going drown I can feel myself grow weaker
I can't fight anymore, I don't know why
I thought I had the right to
I am useless, all I do is bring destruction
To everyone I care about,

WHY???

They might not say it but I know,
I know that I can't make anyone happy,
It seems like instead I take away
Their happiness,
All I do is cause pain, I watch as the pain in
Their eye, their heart start running
Down their cheeks,
All because of words I said, or because I  love them
It never fails I love with all my heart
Yet all they feel is pain,
WHY just WHY!!!!
As soon as I decided to give up a pair of hands
Pulls me to the surface,

Once I could breathe I looked around to find
Who saved me but all I seen

Was a figure in the distant so I walked in that direction
As I walked it didn't seem like I was getting closer

So I continue then I seen a flash from the right side, then one from the left,
I felt like I was being chased so I started running,
And from each side of me I seen images of a different girl
Now I'm scared, I am running faster,

I look up after falling to see mirrors and the reflection of me and my life,

I sit there crying seeing how I was beaten,

Just wanting the one who gave me life
To love me,

I cried watching the horrors of my life before this point,
And the ones I block out because they are far way worse then my horror story life

I don't want to remember, to feel like that ever again! And then I realized that no one else is here that I am all alone
Once again saving myself!