Live, Love, Lost, And Death

Unseen Pain

I sit here so alone remembering
The slap that still stung my
Cheek,

I feel my eye swelling from the fist,
I feel the bruises that covers
My ribs and abdomen.

I feel and taste the blood from my lip
Gushing into my mouth.

Yet this is not the pain I feel.

How? Why?

She is my mother and he is my older brother
So why would they do this?

I am staring into the mirror tears running down my cheeks
And blood running down my hand,
I don't feel the pain of the cut.

"Your a bitch, I wish I wasn't responsible for you,
You are useless, you are nothing,
I never wanted you!"

Why? Why do I care?
Why do I want her to love me?
WHY!!??

Your a piece of shit, your a crybaby,
Stop crying or I'm going to hit you.
Your weak, your stupid, your a bastard, your a stupid fucking Dyke!

As my mothers and brothers words rang through my mind
I cried silently I had no more tears to cry,
So my arms and wrist cried for me.

The battles I fight with in I am losing,
That hate, the rage, and the disgust I can't keep
It in anymore.

I take a last look in the mirror and I am disgusted with who I see staring back.
I hate everything about the person I see so much that
It in rages me.

I look down and I noticed how bad, deep, and nasty my
Cuts are and I stand there watching
As my life force was gushing out and down onto the floor
After several minutes of watching, and thinking,
Who would care as I turned the cold water on and wrapped a
towel
around my arms.

I guess I decided to continue to feel this pain,
For I am not going to lose hope yet.

Why? Just why can't someone see me and the pain
I'm in and save me from this world?