The Days I Remember

6

She stared at me, barely moving, and silent. I had basically just told her that I had deep feelings for her and wanted to get over her. I had just told her my deepest, darkest secret and she didn't know how to respond. She was speechless.

"I guess by the look on your face, you want to know more," I explained to her.

She nodded her head ever so slightly.

"Since you remembered our first kiss, you will probably remember this later on," I explained. "But, if you haven't caught on, we had some sort of relationship. You came over with your family for the summer and we had some type of connection. We kept it a secret, but didn't care if we got caught." I knew these next words would pain me to admit because I never admitted this to anyone. "And I—We had—um...you were basically my first true love," I explained.

She smiled and bit her lip but I saw something different in her eyes when I said that.

Hope. I saw hope in her eyes.

"You were my first girlfriend and first love," I repeated clearly. It felt nice to get that off my chest.

She took a deep breath and looked away from me. It seemed like she was talking to someone else, but she wasn't. She just couldn't look at me when she spoke. "Right before the accident, I literally saw my life flash before my eyes," She started to explain. "I saw all of my friends and my family and all the good times we had together, but the one thing that really stuck in my head was you. When I came here, I instantly remembered your face, but I had no idea of who you were or what your name was. It seemed like a sign or something. I have no idea what that might mean, but I think it does mean something."

"I was so nervous when I heard you were coming because I thought you would hate me and—"

"Hate you?" She interrupted me. "Why would I hate you? Was that argument that we had really that bad?" She asked.

I knew I had said too much. I stared at her, not knowing what to say. I definitely wasn't going to tell her the truth but I didn't know how to get around this.

"Actually, I have another question. If we had this great relationship, why aren't we together still?"

"This is really not the time for me to explain all of this right now," I said shaking my head.

"Then when would be a good time?" She asked with attitude.

I rubbed my hands over my face, realizing how much of a disaster this was. I grabbed my plate of breakfast and walked back inside. I knew I couldn't get away from her but I didn't want to risk my parents hearing us.

"Liam!" She shouted as she chased after me.

Once we were inside, I turned around to face her. There was so much confusion going through her mind right now. I could tell just by how she looked at me and how she couldn't figure out what to say.

"What happened between us?" She asked.

"I told you," I said trying to avoid it. "We had a disagreement."

"It must have been one hell of a disagreement if it ended a relationship!" She fired back. "So explain it to me. Why is this such a touchy subject for you? Why won't you tell me anything? What happened?!"

"I GOT SCARED!" I blurted out. I wasn't going to win this conversation.

"Of what?" She crossed her arms with sass.

I started moving my hands to try to explain it. "Of...us. Of committing. Of my feelings for you. I just got scared."

She probably still had a million other questions she wanted to ask me but they were flying through her brain so quickly she didn't know what to ask first.

"I was afraid of admitting my true feelings for you and I pushed you away," I explained defeated.

She looked so frustrated and angry. I couldn't understand how she was coping with this situation. "Can you admit your feelings to me now?" She asked. "Even though you're a couple years late," she said quieter.

I took a deep breath, ran my fingers through my hair, and debated where to start. "I loved you. When it got closer to the end of the summer, I had to face my feelings for you and I didn't want to. I was still in that phase where I thought girls were the grossest things ever so I couldn't imagine dating one, let alone falling in love with one. And when you said you loved me, I panicked. I started saying anything and everything that could hurt you so I could push you away. And I regret it now."

"I—I said I loved you?" She asked cautiously.

I nodded my head. It seemed like that was the only part of the story she cared about. Something hit her hard but I didn't know what.

"I don't remember saying that," she explained. "I would have remembered that whether I was in a car accident or not." She was trying really hard to figure this out but I didn't know why. "I remember everyone who said they loved me. I remember them and that moment. Actually, I remember most of my memories," She looked up at me and gave me a look I couldn't explain. "But you. When it comes to you, I draw a blank. It's all blurry."

It sounded like she was telling me that she didn't want to remember me all these years so she blocked me out. She pretended as if we were a dream—a very messed up dream. She wanted to forget me and she forced herself to do so. Then, when she was in the car accident, there were no memories to remember.

She stepped closer to me with what seemed like anger but she somehow looked hurt. "You must have really broke my heart if I forced myself not to remember you."

"I broke my own heart that night," I explained.

"But then, you moved on to Emma just like that." Now she sounded jealous. She sounded hurt.

"It wasn't that simple."

"Yes, it is!" she yelled. "And she doesn't even deserve you." Tears started trickling down her cheeks as she stared at me, but she must have felt embarrassed and walked away from me.

She was jealous.

She had feelings for me.

She never stopped loving me.

I never stopped loving her.

Author's Note:

Yay! I'm back from camping and vacation and I'm so excited to finally get this chapter up! 

It was really emotional for me to write so I hope it pulled at your heart strings a bit. It also gives you a little bit more of their feelings for each other.

Things are going to start getting heated really soon and I promise it's going to be great!

Also, I started writing another story called Tragic Destiny. It's not my priority right now since this story is my priority but it would be great if you checked it out. It won't have frequent updates but just like this story, I am taking my time to make every detail perfect.

Don't forget to hit that little start to vote on my story so I know you liked it!

Feel free to leave any comments critiquing or complimenting my work!

I really hope you enjoy this book as much as I do!

Lydia