Rants Of Aeri

6/20/2016

I hate how I get so attached to books. It's terrible. I'm addicted. I read until it's really early in the morning, when I'm supposed to be sleeping. So my parents used to bust me with books. They'd catch me in the bathroom closet reading by the closet light. Or in my room with a flashlight. Or in my closet. Or squinting at the words on my bed while the night light faintly illuminated my room. Yeah,  I was afraid of the dark as a kid. Until about ten, it was really bad, and around ten it started improving. I think. I honestly am a little clueless when it comes to remembering. It's like the my ability to call up memories only works on specific ones. I don't know. And I think some of them aren't real, because my parents don't remember them either. So basically I think my brain made fake memories from when I was like, three. One of the many reasons I hate my brain. Damn, I've got a bad headache right now. And it's so early. I really ought to sleep, but I just can't. And that's a lame excuse, but it's what I've got. I probably shouldn't share all of this where anyone could read it, but I'm awake and tired af and have a b*tching headache and my joints are loose or so the doctor says which is apparently why my hips, knees, and on a rare occasion, my ankles give me pain when I put weight on them sometimes. And since a few weeks, more like a month, it's been getting more frequent or I'm noticing it more. Not being in school for the summer is wrecking havoc on my general ability to want to move. I never want to leave the house, don't ever want to practice my violin, and generally am kinda bored and sleep the day away. I like structure, and can't get that anywhere at my house. I need activities, and am going off to two weeks of sleepaway camp in another state. In a week. And I'm not allowed to have electronics or books or music. The books or music have to be in French. And my brain said, "What the f*ck were you thinking when you agreed to this?" My answer, I didn't know until my mom had already filled out the forms. And this turned into a complete rant that had nothing to do with books. So I'm sorry, and good night, or good morning? I'm headed off to sleep, hopefully. My eyes hurt like hell.