Sad Poems about long distance, life, and other shit

Caught

It's my fault
He got caught
We were on the phone
And he hung up before I could finish my thought

I got nervous
This happened because of me
I pressured him into calling me
Now tears are shoring down my cheeks like a sea

I'm trying to hold my emotions in
His mom let us talk
Probably gonna be the last time though
I need to get out and take a walk

While we were on the phone
My voice quivered
I was about to cry
He shivered

He told me it's okay
That he hates when I worry
But I couldn't control myself
I turned the color of a dark blue berry

I felt I was suffocating
As if someone took away the air
I couldn't breathe
Knowing he was in trouble somewhere

I wanted to know
What If that's really it
It's gonna take a huge affect on us
And damn we'll have to take another hit

If this never happened
I wouldn't be in tears
I lost him for real this time
The person who always said he loved me no matter what and cares

And after all this
I try not to cry
He doesn't want me to
I sigh

I wish he was here
I want to be in his arms
I need a hug
I miss his charms

I was always so positive when I was with him
I couldn't help but smile
The way we were to each other
Made my heart jump a mile

It's really so hard
But his mom
She's so upset
I can't be calm

It is my fault
Whether I like it or not
It was me who wanted him to call me so bad
And this is what I got

I didn't only loose my baby
I lost my best friend
We were caught in shit together
We stood till the end

But you can't compete with family
Blood comes first
What's love compared to that
I'm about to burst

My emotions are flowing
Once again
It's happen a lot unusually lately
These feelings I can't condemn

Why can't I ever be strong
I always get so broken
Now I'm thinking of my mom
ALL THESE OLD FEELINGS ARE AWOKEN

THEY NEVER GO AWAY
I CARRY IT ON ME EVERYDAY
AND THIS DUMB CRAP
IT WONT EVER GO THE OTHER WAY

CHILL
OH IMMA CHILL
IM GOING CRAZY AGAIN
I COULD KILL TO THROW ALL MY PROBLEMS DOWN A HILL

MY EMOTIONS
ARE LIKE A ROLLER COASTER
UP AND DOWN
MY DADS ANNOYING THE SHIT OUTTA ME CUZ THE FIRE ALARM WENT OFF SINCE HE CANT USE A DAMN TOASTER

days later...

I have to stop
Emotions shouldn't get the best of me
I have to calm down
This isn't how I'm supposed to be

With all this drama
I need to take a break
Ease my mind
Before the bad me will start to awake

I'm done with that part
I don't wanna go back
But something crosses my mind
And I just might crack

Oh baby
I need you so bad
I'm fighting myself again
I'm getting so sad

And I'm so bipolar
On top of it all
My mood keeps changing
Like the leaves in fall