let me go. (sequel to autism)

Day 5

A\N: *sigh* wassup, fam

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"Frank, I'm thinking of heading into town," Gerard said from the kitchen. I watched him walk into the living room, him starting to slip on his jacket. "Are you willing to come with me? Behave..."

Behave? I've done that quite fairly, I wasn't sure if Gerard trusted me too whole-heartedly yet. he wasn't a stranger; we knew each other. But I was barely even thinking about trust or leaving, just the idea of being outside would make me eager at this point.

I nodded frantically and sat up on the edge of the couch as Gerard neared me.

He did a stiff nod and I grabbed his hand. He opened the door and locked it behind us. He took a short walk to his car and once we got inside he locked the doors and stared at me. I had absently got in the front, but his stare was starting to make me think of how stupid I was.

"Sit in the back," He ordered, returning his eyes to the steering wheel and starting the car. I sighed and got out (him having to unlock the car), quickly going to the back. I understood his point a little, but I wasn't anywhere near him and wasn't comfortable.

"Gerard-"

"Frank, don't," He warned, starting to reverse the car and when he was done, he drove down the seeming dying driveway and onto a road. No one else seemed to be on the road, and at the moment all I could see surrounding us were trees. Every once in a while I caught Gerard looked back in the rear-view mirror to see me. His soft hazel eyes carried a relaxing aura. I just hoped it stayed that way.

After a few minutes, more things started to come into view- gas stations, supermarkets, hotels. I noticed Gerard starting to pull into a Walmart. He spent a few minutes looking around and then parking, and then he kept looking around, scanning over everything.

"We make this quick," He said, turning his head to look back at me. "Hold my hand the entire time, keep up with me, don't do anything bad, and we'll be fine. And if you let go of my hand, so help me god..." He stated, staring back at me.

I felt goosebumps rise over my skin as I nodded and let Gerard open my door.

"And walk close to me, or else people suspect something," He muttered lowly, and I nodded and I got out of the car. I shut the door and he locked it and wrapped am arm around my shoulder. "Act like you love me," He simply said, his face holding no emotion. I looked at him, trying to study him, and kissed him quickly before grabbing his hand. He stiffly nodded and intertwined our fingers together. I didn't feel like bringing up the thing that started itching about me about what he said. I wasn't entirely sure how to even process that he would say something like that. I guess it's just the way I act. But I did desperately want him to know I cared about him. And he stayed close, like he had said. "There aren't any cops, but people are snoopers, and yes -we're far from Belleville- but you never know when you're gonna see someone you recognize."

"Mhm," I hummed in agreement.

"So be careful," He finished. "And tell me." He looked at me. "Okay?"

"I will, Gerard, it's almost ridiculous of you to think that I wouldn't," I blurted out, without fully thinking.

"I'm just double-coating it."

He sighed as we walking in and I was already thinking this was going to be hell when he already started rushing off to different areas. This entire thing lasted for maybe twenty minutes. Running back and forth, quickly picking things, me struggling to keep up and gulping everytime I felt Gerard's hand start to slip out of mine. His hand hung more loosely, and I realised I was the one responsible for keeping a grip between us. It was nerve racking and everytime Gerard pulled me closer to him I muttered a quick 'sorry' and every once in a while when he seemed stressed or consentrated I rubbed my finger over his knuckles or I kissed his cheek. The only reason I ever seemed to not be close to him was when I was looking around to see if I noticed anyone from Belleville to tell Gerard, I was hoping he wasn't taking it the other way. But he seemed to not carry an affection today or he didn't seem to care. It almost made me feel lost, and it definately upset me. i sounded pathetic and like a poor school girl, but I don't know how he can't expect me to be at least a little upset by the entire situation.