let me go. (sequel to autism)

Day 6

"Gee," I said, trying to wake Gerard's sleeping form up. I had been trying for at least ten minutes. "Gerard, please," I groaned, starting to feel my stomach grumble. I could just make my own breakfast but Gerard would probably get mad at me for leaving. And it's true because cocky, arrogant Frank would just walk downstairs and do things his own damn self. But that Frank has kind of dissolved.

He stirred a little, tiredly rubbing his eyes and sitting up slowly. His hair dangled over his face and he pushed it behind his ears. When his eyelids fluttered open his hazel orbs met mine, I stared at him for a minute, admiring the beautiful color and forgetting about why I woke him up in the first place.

"What, Frankie?" He mumbled drousily.

"You wouldn't wake up."

"And I still don't want to," he grumbled and took me in his arms, stuffing me in his chest. I felt myself getting squeezed and uncomfortable breathing patterns ripple through my chest. Now I could care less whether he were asleep or not. Although he was lightly strangling me, small emotions of feeling loved were warming my chest.

"Gerard," I groaned.

"Shhh," He hushed, wrapping his legs around me, being sure I wasn't able to squirm as much.

"Gerard, I'm hungry," I whined, just thinking of a quick and honest excuse to get me out of his grasp. There was no way I was sleeping with him for another two hours.

"You say that every time..." He muttered lazily, dragging out his words over dramatically.

"Gee."

"Fine, fine."

He groaned and let go of me, getting dressed as I started to do the same. A smug smile never left my face as I kept glancing at Gerard.

"Happy now?" He grouched, walking toward me. My smile lifted higher and I kissed his cheek. He smiled a little and dragged me out the door. Once we got downstairs he had started making breakfast and closesly I watched him. The simple moves and way he smoothly did things. Flipping his bright hair back, taking things slowly and delicately. Has he always had this side to him? "Can you cook?" He suddenly asked, dragging me out of my haze.

I chuckled and replied, "no."

He sighed and ran his hands over his face, still drousy with sleep. Once he had gotten around to finishing everything, he made himself a piece of toast, and handed me my usual plate of eggs.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"You're welcome," He said and kissed my forehead before taking a bite out of his toast, crumbs quickly falling all over the place.

I had finished quicker than expected, my hunger over taking my need to take things patiently.

×××

It was already around lunch time, but I wasn't even hungry, I just felt... exhausted? From yesterday?

I wasn't exactly tired, but I wasn't completely 'exhausted', necessarily, from anything. Maybe I was being lazy. Is this what Gerard did for two years without my company? I looked over at him and he made eye contact with me. His hazel eyes glowed and he cracked a small smile.

He was killing people...

That's what he was doing.

I looked away and sighed, trying not to shift my mood too strangely to cause his questioning. Do I seem not as concerned with it? I just haven't fully taken in that he did really kill people. He could've simply shot then, or took time to cut them everywhere. Did he even enjoy it?