Sometimes I wonder why the hell everyone in my family wants me to take a tranquilizer dart and fucking relax, and don't start arguments, listen when spoken to, not go off on my mother. Sit, stand, rollover, IM NOT A DOG although sometimes i just feel like death is the answer I mean I'm 'BadDeathGirl' obviously Id like to have death i mean it seems nice freeing fucking escape from my family now a days even FireFly can't even keep me from wanting to die the only thing on this planet is one single human being that makes me think. how would this hurt her?? could i do this to her?? could i ever leave her?? would she ever forgive me?? Cuz I love her and that little bit of love is keeping me here don't get me wrong i love FireFly but Ive always wanted to die and now FireFly is tucked away out of my life and suicidal thoughts come rolling in and thinking that the one person keeping me on this planet is so far away!!! I mean I miss them like fucking hell and the distance is just killing me not seeing them makes me wonder would they ever pick me over family probably not. because their family is keeping us fucking apart!! I mean why would she choose me a looser over her ''great'' family. You know i just feel alone like in the future she'll just leave me and go live happily ever after with someone her family approves of... So Death looks Bleak And relative because at this point I might as well not go on! SO FUCK YOU WORLD
