Afraid » l.t

Chapter 11

Song: Purpose- Justin Bieber

"I put my heart into your hands, here's my soul to keep. I let you in, with all that I can"

Delilah

After what feels like an eternity of laying on the floor, Louis helps me up. He picks me up carefully, my head digging into his neck. I breathe in his scent, a mixture of chlorine and cologne. Louis softly sets me down, my body curling in on myself.

He picks up a cup from the coffee table, forcing me to sit back up. I gulp the water, not caring who's cup it once was.

I mentally try to turn back into school Delilah, but figure now isn't the time. I can trust Louis.

I lay back down, pulling the covers over my nearly naked body. After Louis sets the cup back down, he takes a seat next to my legs, resting his hand on them. A wave of relief washes over me, realizing that there's a caring and loving human being in my presence.

"Do you want me to put a movie in?" Louis asks quietly. I open my eyes, seeing him look at me with a lot of affection. I smile, nodding. I snuggle into the blanket more as Louis hesitantly stands up.

"I'll be fine," I reassure him. He nods, confirming that I read his mind.

Louis grabs a movie off the large shelf surrounding the flat screen TV, plopping it into the DVD player. He walks back over to me, carrying along two remotes.

He sits by my feet, my eyes never once looking away from him. I watch him as he tries to figure out the television, a smile creeping it's way on my face. I admire his tongue propped out in concentration, eyebrows knitted together.

Once the movie gets up and running, Louis sits back down by my feet. I lightly poke him in the side of his leg with the tip of my foot, his head looking over at me. I scoot towards the edge of the couch, creating a little spot for Louis to lay. He looks from the empty spot behind me, back into my eyes.

Without any words being spoken, Louis crawls behind me and lays down. I instantly melt back into his touch, his arm reaching over to drape over my waist. I dig my face into the pillow, pulling the blanket up to my face. Louis pulls me closer, comfort and the feeling of home grabbing me.

The movie that I don't bother paying attention too, plays for about twenty minutes until I hear light snores coming from Louis. I chuckle, turning around without trying to wake him. Once I'm completely turned around, our faces inches apart and his hand still draped over me, I stare at him.

It might sound creepy, but I watch his eyelashes flinch every few seconds and his breathing steady. I lift my hand up without thinking, cupping his cheek. I rub my thumb along his smooth tan skin, smiling even more as he leans into my touch.

My brain starts to think, my eyes closing as my hand continues to cup Louis' face.

For as long as I can remember, I've always been afraid. But I've only been afraid of one thing... Of falling in love. I never could see myself actually falling in love. It just seemed like some stupid fairytale to me. I thought of it as impossible. I made a promise to myself to never fall in love, no matter what. And here I am, starting to break the promise. Slowly letting the day I told myself I would never fall in love with another human, disappear. Now I'm not saying I'm in love with him... No, I just met him this week. That's not possible. But I definitely have a different feeling for him then I do most guys.

I'm pulled from my thoughts when Louis groans. I leave my hand where it was, his eyes fluttering open. I'm met with bright, almost neon blue eyes. I smile, not bothered by how close we are.

"Hey," I whisper. He lifts his hand up, cupping my hand that's cupping his cheek.

"Hi," he whispers back. We stay there in silence for a few minutes, my eyes flickering down to his lips. To avoid kissing him, I lean forward and dig my head into his neck. He laughs, shifting to lay on his back as I reach my hands to grip his neck. My legs are on the outside of the couch, but my upper body is laying across Louis' chest as I snuggle into him more.

I press a kiss to his neck, nothing sexual, but enough to let Louis know I care. I pull myself up his body, looking down into his eyes. I smile, my hair dangling down around us.

"You're so beautiful," Louis whispers as he caresses my cheek. I blush, leaning into his large hand. "Has anyone ever told you that?" He asks quietly. I close my eyes, shaking my head calmly.

A few moments of silence pass, my eyes opening again to see Louis still staring.

"Can I ask you something?" Louis asks me. I nod, laying back down on his chest. I listen to his steady heart beat, all the muscles in my body relaxing at the sound. Louis' arms reach around my stomach, holding his hands behind my back.

"Why do you act so different at school?" Louis asks me. My heart stops but quickly goes back to normal as I realize that I can trust him.

"I, um-"

"Don't feel pressured to tell me. I won't pull anything from you until you feel comfortable enough too," Louis reassures me. I nod my head, but decide that maybe I could tell him.

"When I was about ten, I promised myself that I would never fall in love. I said, "no matter who walks into your life, you'll never let another human being ruin your path to future". I was told by my father that no one would every truly love me for who I am. I was told so many times, that I started to believe it. So, I made that promise," I vent to Louis. When he doesn't say anything, I continue.

"I-I have had dyslexia since I was born and I've never bothered to try and fix it- too scared to see what other people would think or say. It's gotten really bad, to the point where I can't read a full sentence," I say. I take a deep breath, moving onto the next part of my story. "So, to cover up my stupidity, as my father puts it, I have two personalities. A home Delilah and school Delilah. School Delilah isn't all an act, though," I furrow my eyebrows. "School Delilah has become a part of me. She mostly hooks up with guys and acts as if she doesn't care. Every time I have sex with someone, I go home and just sit. I mutter words to myself, wishing that my life could just end. I showed someone my body that I barely knew. I gave myself up at the age of thirteen. Thirteen. I was so alone. I couldn't let anybody in. I was too scared people would find out my life at home and look at me differently. I hooked up with people to forget. Forget about home, my dad. To just blow off steam," I rant. I stay silent for a few minutes, Louis' fingers massaging my head full of hair.

"I promised myself I wouldn't fall in love... And then you showed up," I mutter. My head is raised up by a hand softly gripping my chin. I look into Louis' eyes, his facial expression unreadable.

Expect for one emotion.

The one that every girl hoped and wished to see one day. The look that everyone was jealous of. The look that made every girls heart flutter from overwhelming thoughts and words. Something that beat the best experience in your life, and vanished the worst experience in your life.

Love.

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I NEEDA CHILL GOD FUCKINGJAN DMAMKITITTTTTT OMG IM KILLING MYself inside.

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