Afraid » l.t

Chapter 22

Song: Sorry - Justin Bieber

"Is it too late now to say sorry? 'Cause I'm missing more than just your body. Is it too late now to say sorry? Yeah, I know that I let you down"

Delilah

I stare at his breathtaking features, his curly hair and emerald green eyes the first thing you see.

"Hi," I finally say. I'm too drunk to say anything more or move away from the very attractive man, just standing there with a devilish smirk on both our faces.

"I love your costume," he over-exaggerates. I can tell he's far past drunk by his bloodshot eyes and horrible smell of vodka in his mouth. I bite my lip as he slides his hand down my side, giving my bum a squeeze. He connects his lips with my neck, my head automatically craning it to the side to give him more access.

I feel his hands slide up my thighs, slightly going under my tight dress. I hold in my moan, seeing other people on the deck. But they probably are stoned and don't care.

Before I can do or say anything else, the man grabs my hand and walks into the house. I follow him, confused on where we're going and what he's doing. I giggle quietly to myself as he heads up the stairs, still gripping my hand.

My anger and thoughts about Louis slowly go away as we reach an empty bedroom. I smile as I fully understand what's happening.

I laugh as he shuts the door eagerly, pushing me on the bed. He crawls on top of me, connecting our lips as I slowly forget. I forget about what I'm doing, what Louis said to me before he left, my anger towards Louis' self-centered thoughts and the fact that I'm covering up my "little" crush on the boy with blue eyes.

- - - -

I move off of the snoring stranger, remembering what happens. My heart races as I look for my clothes, pulling them on faster than I've ever changed. I grab my phone off the bedside table, running out of the room. It's still dark out, my phone lighting up with the alarming time 4:48 am.

I instantly ask myself where Louis is, remembering what he told me last night, but not where he went afterwards. My anger seems to have disappeared as I unlock my phone, dialing his number.

I'm still slightly tipsy, but after being active with the guy and talking to him about something I can't quite remember, I feel very attentive and mentally conscious.

I don't question calling Louis, but my heart races when he answers with a tired tone.

"Hello?" He says, voice raspy and low. I almost start crying, already hating myself for what I had just done.

"Louis," I choke. "I need to talk to you," I say through heavy breathing. I try to find my way out of Sara's house, needing to find Louis.

"Delilah? Are you okay?" Louis asks, his tone changing from tired to worried.

"I want to see you," I say loudly. I may be over exaggerating, but fuck. I know what I did with that man, and I can't even think about the thought of "cheating" on Louis. We may not be dating, but I really like him and the fact I went and had sex with somebody's name I don't even know, worries me. It just proves how non-trustworthy I am of being in a relationship.

"Okay, stay there," Louis demands. I hear loud noises come from his side of the line, hoping he's on his way.

"Louis," I cry. "I'm at the party still," I say. I hear a door slam and a car starting, notifying me that Louis' on his way.

I can't believe I actually just had sex with another man when I obviously like Louis. I'm not a good person, I can't control myself when I'm drunk and angry. I can't believe I did this to Louis. I can't believe he's still sticking around with my poor ass. He deserves so much more and I can't even fucking commit myself to one person for more than a month. How fucking pathetic, Delilah.

"I'm on my way," he says. We stay on the line, my heavy breathing the only thing being heard. I go outside, not wanting to be surrounded by passed out teenage drunks and the stench of bitter sweet alcohol.

I sit on the front lawn, playing with the grass as I wait for Louis to arrive.

I have no fucking idea what I'm going to say to him, but I do know I can't tell him what happened. It may be unhealthy for our relationship, but I don't give two flying, swimming, walking, living fucks about it. I can't lose Louis, the thought just makes me sick to my stomach and the need to throw myself at a tree. I can't do that to Louis, he'd be devastated. I can't even think about the look on his face when I tell him I had sex with a complete stranger after he told me he can't be just friends" with me. He has stuck by my side when I went back and forth between wanting nothing more than to be just friends, and just wishing we could actually be a couple. The fact that I just had sex with another man, makes this situation with Louis all the more confusing for me.

I realize that I've dropped my phone, laid on my back and am just staring up at the stars. I hear a car stop right in front of the house, but can't bring myself to look. I know exactly who it is, and I have no idea what I'm going to say. I just wanted to see him. I want to tell him how I really feel.

"Delilah," I hear Louis say. I finally turn my head to the side, seeing Louis laying right next to me. I smile sadly, knowing just how much I've fucked up. I let a tear roll down my cheek, Louis reaching his hand up to wipe it away. I lean into his touch, snuggling up against him on the damp grass.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. Louis holds me tighter, shaking his head. "I can't believe I've dragged you through all my shit. The wanting to be just friends and wanting you to be mine. The family struggles and the panic attack," I say, referring to one of the first times we actually hung out outside of school.

"Delilah," Louis stops my rant. I look up into his eyes, waiting for him to speak. "Don't be sorry. I've stuck by your side through everything because I like you. I know I said I wasn't going to wait for you, but I regret even thinking that stupid idea. I'm going to wait for you no matter how long it takes," he states. My heart melts at his words, wanting to cry even harder now.

"I like you Louis," I admit.

There it is. I finally admitted it out loud, to Louis, in person. Yes, when I had my panic attack, I vented all my feelings to him. But me telling him I like him this time, means more. I'm ready for him to just be mine. I'm ready for a relationship. I'm tired of doing all the back and forth shit.

I blush as he smiles widely, pecking my lips quickly. God, how much I missed his lips. It hasn't even been ten hours since I kissed him last, but the fact I kissed another man is the reason his lips feel this much better. I do feel this gut feeling of regret in my stomach, a whole lot of it actually, and I feel even worse for going back to him. Yes, I like him. But what I did was so wrong.

"I like you too," he winks. I find myself laughing, just happy to know Louis' there again.

"So what does this mean?" I ask, actually not knowing where this is leading to... Though I know and don't mind.

"Well, Delilah Tate... Would you like to officially be my girlfriend?" Louis asks, my hands squeezing his shirt harder. I nod eagerly, not helping but to smile a big idiot smile.

I just hope now we can be a real couple without all the confusing yes and no's. I just want to be with Louis, despite me being afraid to fall in love. Which I can already feel disappearing as I kiss his sweet, smooth lips.

- - - -

Haha... *nervous laughter* well they're finally dating, yeah?

Vote and comment to see what happens!!! :)))