My Safe Haven || camren

Any Advice?

Back at work, which means I can go back to asking the girls for help with my so called confused mind when it come to the entire Lauren situation.

"Yo Mila." Dinah greeted as she walks towards my direction at the other end of the studio.

"Hey." I smiled as I put my book down to shuffle on the sofa.

"So any updates on you and Lauren?" Dinah asked with interest.

"Well as you may have already noticed, I am in speaking terms with her again." I stated the obvious, "but..." Then I added and paused immediately when I got lost for words.

"He's trying to come back, I know." Dinah then stated out of nowhere.

She knows? But how? I thought Lauren hasn't spoken to anyone about him trying to come back in her life other than me, did she finally tell the other girls about it as well?

"Yeah but how did you know?" I asked Dinah who moved in closer to me.

"He was just out there, not too long ago. He was screaming Lauren's name with a bunch of flowers in his hand." Dinah explained.

Wow, he really just don't get the idea that Lauren doesn't want anything to do with him anymore.

"Don't worry." She then placed a hand on top of mine and squeezed them in reassurance, "she didn't go out, she got security to drag him out of the building." She then added.

I must've looked worried then.

It's not like I'm gonna deny it anyway but of course I'm worried when it comes to Lauren and that horrible human being.

"Should I talk to her?" I asked Dinah.

"Maybe later, I'm not sure where she went, she's probably in the booth recording or something." Dinah shrugged her shoulders at me.

Then silence fell between the two of us.

It was quite for some time before I took a deep breath and spoke my mind openly to Dinah.

"I'm so confused about this whole Lauren thing, you know..." I trailed off.

Dinah paused and gave me a pointed look.

"Honestly Mila I don't think you're confused at all." Dinah sighed.

"What do you mean?" I asked her not really knowing what she's referring to.

"I think you're just scared." She stated simply. "Look at it this way, you two were inseparable for years. She looked out for you and you looked out for her. You two were happy and then out of nowhere she just decided that it's not working out for you two. She broke you and up until now you still can't find anyone else to replace her nor the love that she has given you throughout those years. You're scared that once you let Lauren in once again and let her handle your now ever so fragile heart that she will just smash them into pieces again. You're scared that it'll happen all over again."

Maybe Dinah has a point here. Maybe I'm not confused at all, maybe I'm just simply scared of what might happen.

Maybe I'm scared to once again find and feel what happiness is.

I'm scared of feeling the feelings that I felt towards Lauren all over again.

What if they're not the same anymore?

What if they're greater than what I felt towards her back then?

What if I can't give her that love anymore?

She loves me either way but will I?

For Dinah to just simply remind me of what I didn't have for years after what happened between the two of us, is making me feel like I need some serious time to think this through.

I cannot just jump into this and play it like a game.

We're not little kids anymore, we're grown women with grown feelings and mature minds.

"So you're basically saying that I should just let things fall naturally all over again and just watch and feel everything that's going to come along with it?" I asked her.

"Yes." She replied simply, "all of us are still young Mila, we should at least let ourselves to be free from all the negativity and just cherish and feel everything that we can. We don't have any control of how much time we have left on this planet but we do have a say in most of the things that we do in life, so choose wisely." She smiled and placed a hand on my shoulder. "All I want for you and Lauren is to be happy." She then added.

"I know you do..." I trailed off, "and thank you for listening and everything." I then moved in closer to her side and gave her a hug.

"Oh it's nothing, anything for you really." She then chuckled a little and gave an even tighter hug.

After the eye opening speech from Dinah, I went around to look for Lauren around the studio.

I've looked almost everywhere and I'm starting to think that she probably went home already when I finally found her sitting in one corner with her headphones on and staring out the window.

I sighed and walked up to her, tapping her lightly on the shoulder.

She gave me crooked smile and moved her legs out of the bench, giving me space to sit on and taking her headphones off swiftly before running her fingers through her hair.

Her green eyes soon met my own ones.

"How are you?" I asked her gently.

"I'm alright, I guess." She shrugged her shoulders at me.

Then there was a pause between the two of us.

"You heard about that incident before?" She asked me.

"Yeah, Dinah told me about it." I nodded my head. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, he just wanted to talk to me but I didn't so he got mad." She explained, "I called security after that so his fucking foot won't be stepping in this building any longer." She then chuckled and raised an eyebrow at her achievement. 

"I'm glad that he didn't hurt." I smiled at her, "I thought Dinah and I would've needed to kick some ass today." I told her jokingly and hitting y palm with my fist to emphasis what I mean.

"Camz, you won't be kicking any ass anymore, I'll stay as a good girl from now." Lauren laughed a little, her rasp echoing in the almost empty area.

"Thank you." She then stated.

"For what?" I asked her.

"For slowly letting me be your friend again. It means a lot to me." She smiled at me.

"I'll always be there for you Lauren, no matter what." I smiled back at her and wrapped my arms around her torso.

"I've missed you so much Camila."

"I missed you too." I sighed heavily as the somewhat new beginning and feeling starts to unravel itself.